Quiver what?

It was not long ago that I shared with you some of the more “interesting” responses we received with the announcement of our third child. At the time, I was entering into the nauseating stages of the first trimester. It was not long into this trimester that Nate and I both began to ponder just how we could possibly do this again. I would be more than dishonest if I said it was not sometimes near impossible to keep up with two toddlers while being, not only sick, but completely exhausted. I just could not possibly think of doing this again.

But, as always, God has a way of changing hearts and I still feel “empty” with the thought of only three little ones. (Nate, however, is not completely on board at the moment.) I am still not positive what my convictions are or if they are actually founded by Scripture. But I know a few things…

I know when I hear someone say they “don’t want anymore,” it makes my heart cringe.


I know that right now, I’m not brave enough to tell God how many children I am going to have. “A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9


I know it doesn’t make sense to call them a blessing and at the same time refuse those blessings. “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” Psalm 127:3


As a culture, we say we love our children more than anything. Would you like $1 million? Well…YEAH. Would you like a bigger, nicer home? Of course! How about that new car? Yes. How about more kids? NO. THANKS. So, if we love our kids more than our money, our homes, and our cars…then why do we despise the thought of more? Why have children become a burden instead of a blessing? Is it that our children prevent us from having all the other “stuff” that makes us happy…but what does the Bible say? “Jesus said to him, ‘If you want to be perfect, go sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven, and come, follow Me.’ But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.” Matthew 19:21-22

I say this because I believe the number one reason people do not have more children is money. That is a question we get a lot. How are you going to be able to afford them? Just wait until they get older, they get more expensive. Is it possible they get more expensive because you choose to give them worldly things instead of godly things? I’m not saying that there are not expenses to having children; but I am saying the expense of your children depends a lot on the lifestyle you choose to live. If the lifestyle you choose to live prevents you from expanding the kingdom of God, then maybe you need to reflect on how you are glorifying God. So, now I ask myself, will I walk away sorrowful because of my desire for great possessions?

Of those few things I know, I also know this;

I know that regardless of what happens, God is sovereign. If He closes my womb, He is sovereign. If He closes our hearts, He is sovereign. No matter the spiritual battle I am currently having, His will…will be done.

I also know this probably won't be the last time you read about this...

A Very Merry Franklin Christmas

It all started one cold day in December 2003 as Christmas time was wrapping up. As newlyweds, we found ourselves in a debate on Santa Claus and with a credit card balance; the two things we eventually both came to hate. We didn’t know it yet, but we had just participated in our last Christmas. I can’t remember a thing we bought or received that year. What I remembered the most was that conversation and the marvelous way in which it led us.

Our dearest family friend, Jerry, was visiting with us in our condo as he did most nights. And as most nights, our conversation was headed to God’s Word and the superficial nature of our own religion. Jerry, who had put up his Christmas tree in October, was done; he was over it. Apparently, as his merry tree, all beautiful and glittery, sparkled through the past two months, he began to see the idolatry all around him. I’m not sure if he was even aware at that moment of the idolatry we would truly come to see. And then, I hit my other half with, “Well, I don’t think if we have kids we should tell them there is a Santa.” What?! (This would be one of our two greatest debates ever as a couple…the other was on eternal security.) Of course, we went through the whole, “but it’s just for fun.” But, it is a lie. “I believed in Santa and I’m OK.” But, it is a lie.

Over the next few days I would spend hours in front of my computer, reading article after article on the history of Christmas. Nate would come home for work and there I would be with more information about why Christians shouldn’t celebrate Christmas. To think, I was one or two classes away from a minor in religion…from a Christian school, and I missed this. How could that be?

It wouldn’t be long after Christmas that we announced to our family and friends that would be our last year participating in Christmas festivities. We received many reactions. We received anger. We received discussions of persuasion. We received sadness. The one thing we didn’t receive was support over our convictions. Of course, by the time Christmas would roll around the next year, we just learned to close ourselves off and stay away from the things we abhorred so greatly.

Over the years, I would have to say we have softened up quite a bit. We discuss Christian liberty and man’s tradition and how we can make it all work for our family. We still don’t celebrate Christmas. We still can’t find a reason to…each time we try to come up with our own way of doing it we go back to…but it is a lie. Each and everything you believe about Christmas, is a lie. And when is it OK to lie? Santa isn’t real. Jesus is not the reason for the season. In reality, the very thing God hates the most is the reason for the season…idolatry. Are we not desecrating our churches just the way Israel desecrated the temple? Of course, we are not worshipping pagan gods with our pagan trees, but things used to worship pagan gods are in our churches. Each time I read the accounts of Israel in the Old Testament it resounds over and over…we are doing the same thing.

Sometimes, it all boils down to the fact that people feel sorry for our kids. But I see a different picture. I see my two beautiful children sitting at the breakfast table the day before Thanksgiving awaiting their waffles. They are listening to Momma talk about Thanksgiving and as I walk to the table carrying my own plate, I ask Lily, “What are you thankful for Lily?” I am awaiting the for sure answer, “Baby dolls,” or “horses,” or “play-doh.” But no, I hear, “God. And Mommy, JJ is thankful for Jesus.” Don’t feel sorry for my kids, they’re in His hands.

Daughters of Virtue

I see beautiful, amazing, and godly young women all around me. I see the faithfulness of God in the lives of the daughters of friends who have raised them in the admonition of the Lord. I see modest young women, intelligent young women, and women much more prepared than I too be mothers and wives. I think of one such young lady, and I’m inclined to call her a “girl” because of the girls I’m accustomed to seeing in the world are just that…“girls” unprepared for the world. She is but nineteen or twenty and her beauty is amazing. Her inner beauty radiates from the inside out through her smile. Her eyes sparkle and you are drawn to her…because you know she is different. And as time goes on and you know this young lady you realize why she is different. Her father and mother have instilled her with godly principles and ideas of biblical womanhood. She is modest in her dress and speech, her diligence in work can be seen from afar, and her humility is plain.

I cannot help but think of my own self at that age. I think of the friends that walked with me through life and how if they saw me now, they could very much recognize me physically. But with a little time, they would find me not only changed but almost unrecognizable from the girl they once knew. Some could say it was the nature of life and that marriage and children took their natural course in my life. However, if they stay just a little longer, they will see it is so much more. My thinking has changed and my heart is completely new. I have truly become a new creature in Christ. I have been truly born from above. (John 1:13, 2 Corinthians 5:17)

Had I walked the earth during Jesus’ ministry, the Pharisees would have scolded Him for looking at me, speaking to me, and touching me. I would have sat at His feet and known that I was broken and in need of a Physician. I would have felt unworthy of being in His presence. However, with His great love, He would have touched my face and said, “Go, and sin no more.” (John 8, Psalm 99:5)

I can look back on my spiritual transformation and marvel at the work of God in my life. But then I take a step back and realize something about my own daughters. If we, like the parents above, instill in them a biblical worldview and godly principles, how will they ever know their need for Christ? If there is not a time in their lives where they can’t remember not knowing Christ, how will they keep from becoming like the Pharisees? Lord willing, we will in no way neglect our calling to raise our children in the admonition of the Lord. But, if each of my daughters never walk a road with sinners, how will she know that she sits just as unworthily at Jesus’ feet as I?

Turtle-shaped bacon cheeseburgers make me sick…

Things sure look different around here the last two weeks. In case you missed the hint, baby #3 is on the way. Momma has gone from excited to feeling like poo. And may I add Resolution #6 didn’t happen. I find my husband cleaning up the dinner dishes and preparing meals when he is home. He does whatever it takes to lighten my load. He has been amazing and his take is… “We can’t let happen what happened last time.” You can read about that briefly HERE.

Mere weeks ago seem like an eternity…the days when I was proclaiming God had control of my womb. (Well, at least to #4.) Now, I’m looking at Nate saying, “I can’t do this again.” So now begins the battle of my will over conviction. I spend my days thinking about whether I truly have a conviction. I ask myself, “Is there anything wrong with stopping?” And in my head, the reply I get is, “Are you trusting God?” The best advice I have received is from my friend, mother of 5 boys. She says just “take it one baby at a time.” And today, that’s what I am doing.

I have reaffirmed my knowledge of how much people, even Christians, really just don’t care for children. Oh sure, they say they do…but when you get past one or two they go from a blessing to a burden in most people’s minds. I first came to this knowledge when Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar came out a few years back; I think they were only on number 17 then! I caught the show and adored this family. They had an unbelievable love for God, great family function, and awesome work ethic. I thought they were amazing. And then I realized I was alone. People, again, even Christians, can’t stand the Duggars. Why? Basically, they are disliked because they have no business having that many children…and that’s it. Never mind their obvious love and devotion to their Christian faith. Never mind these are brothers and sisters in Christ. Never mind that’s it is nobody’s business how many kids ANYONE has. And never mind that before those children were formed in their mother’s womb, our God knew them.

So, with mere baby #3, I get to face the culture against life. Here is what I have received:

You have got to be kidding me? I thought you did something to have that fixed.

No. Noooo. Oh well.

You are on your way to be Kate Plus 8.

You are on your way to a reality show.

They’ve got to get out of that church before they have too many babies!

You’re going to be like those Amish people if you don’t learn what birth control is!

And everybody’s favorite, Don’t you know what causes that?! (Which to my response has become…look them in the eye and dead serious say, “No, we can not figure out what keeps causing this!)

When did having more than two children become such a bad thing? Why do people feel compelled to explain how having two children is so much better than more? From what I’ve gathered the answer is self. People value their stuff and their own time more than they do having babies. I read a great article recently on how we multiply what we value. And how true it is. Our culture is all about increasing our bank accounts, our houses, our cars, and other treasures…and more children just might get in the way of that. People view children as a burden to the enjoyment of their own life. (And what’s that Bible verse my blog is based around?)

Christian families having unknowingly fell into the culture against life. Instead of rejoicing at another Christian family’s decision to increase the kingdom of God, they ostracize those that find joy in having children. In doing so, they deny the Word of God. They deny that a man is blessed whose quiver is full. (Psalms 127) If we believe God’s Word that children are a reward and the best gift besides grace He could give us, why wouldn’t we want more?

As I walked down the hall with my precious Jay yesterday, I gave him a sweet kiss and thought to myself, I could do this hundred more times…if I just didn’t have to be pregnant! The thought of it makes me nauseous…but then again, everything makes me nauseous right now….especially turtle-shaped bacon cheeseburgers.

I’m not very political…BUT…

Over the past few weeks several years, I have become accustomed to the notion that Christians will be persecuted and our religious rights will be gradually taken away. I am reminded daily by the posts of my liberal friends on Facebook of the challenges we face being declared “ignorant” by the masses. Within the last week, I have been reminded of this and one question stays in my mind…

It all started as I was browsing Fox News on my mobile. I came across this article about Jennifer Keeton in Georgia. Ms. Keeton is currently obtaining her Masters in counseling at Augusta State University. What you find in the article is that Ms. Keeton will “be dismissed from the program unless she alters her ‘central religious beliefs on human nature and conduct.’” Find out more about the lawsuit at the linked website.

Later the same day, a friend posted a video and a local TV station did a bit on Lt. Governor Ron Ramsey. Apparently, Lt. Governor Ramsey did what most politicians are bound to do and say completely the wrong thing. He made a comment about his questioning of whether being a Muslim was more about religion or nationality. He even referred to the religion as a "cult." Of course, the liberal media runs wild with it and now the Lt. Governor is a bigot. When in reality, there may be a little more to the story. Maybe the man does have a point that Muslim extremist are violent.

And then we have the local news. Our local Juvenile Court Judge has started a “campaign,” if you will, to place a series of plaques in our new justice center. The plaques would include the Mayflower Compact, the Declaration of Independence, Ten Commandments, Magna Carta, Star Spangled Banner, National Motto, Preamble to the Tennessee Constitution, Bill of Rights, Picture of Lady Justice, Benjamin Franklin’ epitaph, George Washington’s inaugural address and prayer at Valley Forge, National Pledge, Tennessee House Resolution 0815, and Tennessee Senate Resolution 0158. (Whew, that was a mouth full! I got bored just writing it…sorry you had to read it!) Check all of this information out at his website HERE.

Anyways, a group from Wisconsin. Yes, WISCONSIN, has written a letter to our county commissioners with concern about the Foundations Display. The group is the Freedom From Religion Foundation. Judge Taylor says there is a legal standing for the Foundation Display to be in the courthouse. The FFRF feels the display is unconstitutional.

But all of this leads back to my initial question, when did protecting one’s freedom FROM religion hinder our freedom OF religion? I mean, seriously; someone, somewhere thinks this Foundations Display is going to cause a bloody civil war? A radical Muslim is more protected in the United States of America than a Christian wanting to protect our heritage and our freedoms. And our national motto is “in God we trust.” I guess the next question would be, which god?

Where Can I Serve God?

It wasn’t long ago I was writing about Losing Michelle… And it wasn’t long ago I was Finding Michelle either. I believe I find myself still caught in this battle. The battle is a cultural and spiritual battle. It is the battle of what I have been indoctrinated with against the biblical vision we have for our family. We are fighting this battle as a family against the tide of our society. Luckily, we have been so blessed to find a body of believers to worship with on Sundays. I told you about when I first met them HERE. The godliness in this church is astounding compared to the many, many churches we have visited for the past six years. So with this battle we have been fighting for so many years, God has blessed us with support and guidance and discipleship.

Here I am a mother of two beautiful babies, a wife to a wonderful husband, and a child of God trying to find His ways. Being so blessed, I sometimes find myself so confused. I want to blame the culture. I want to blame feminism. I want to blame someone or something. But it all comes back to me. It comes back to me learning to let go of the world I was taught to love and embrace. It comes back to me learning that only God can satisfy my hunger and thirst for something more. It is God! It is God that I thirst for! It is God that I long to be with!

God wants us to die to self so that we can serve others. We search for ministries in our community…when a woman’s ministry is in her own home. Where I am right now is where God wants me to serve Him. By serving those in my home, I will serve God.

Proverbs 31

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Hate speech?

I am completely flipping out here. The following paragraph was attempted to be posted on Facebook and was blocked as abusive content. Call me a paranoid Christian, but do we have something to worry about here?

"Now for my response. I'm a bit more theological than scientific. My original reply was not specific to the post on evolution but the blog as well as the First Presbytarian Website. Anyone can call themself a Christian, but the message that Christ gave through the gospel and His sacrifice is what historical Christianity was about. Historical Christianity has been lost because of folks like this saying they are Christian but denying the biblical principles and the very core of Christianity itself. The word Christian has obviously lost its meaning. Biblically speaking there is one gospel, one truth, and one way...to deny that is to deny Christianity. This group seems to me to be a Unitarian church that has not gone through with a name change. Their beliefs are closer to paganism than Christianity by far."

This conversation is in response to this site and the church's website.

http://www.shuckandjive.org/

Righteous Judgment

As I decided to trek out on this spiritual journey through my blog, I was left in limbo as to where and how I would start. I think about God and His Word a lot. It’s the topic of conversation on most days between my husband and me, as well as my closest friends and me. But when it’s coming down to sharing this out here, I’m not sure where to start. There is so much to say as to where I have been already, how do I jump out here without first showing you the pieces that came first? I wanted to tell you our story and how we arrived at where we are at spiritually, but that seems too long. I wanted to make a statement of faith, but then I felt like I would need to tell you our story…so again…too long.

So as I sat under conviction during this morning’s message, I thought what a fine place to start. The sermon was about self-control, sinful anger, and righteous anger. Many people are quick to say we should not judge. There is even scripture to support it. However, there is also scripture to support righteous judgment. Now have you, this form of judgment is rarely used, but it’s still true to the Word.

For example, we are warned time and time again in the epistles to beware of false prophets. Without judgment how would we know what is false? We are warned to discern spirits and to not be deceived. Again, we must make judgment. Anything that is contrary to the Word of God is up for judgment. (John 7:24, I Corinthians 5 and 6.)

I was just speaking to my husband this week about a “thorn in my flesh,” if you will. Because of our beliefs we have been cast out and isolated from many of our friends and family members. They’re nice enough but there is an awkwardness that is frequently sensed. I am not much for small talk. Usually if I want to talk, it is about much deeper issues than the pair of jeans I bought last week or the cars we drive or the homes we live in. But when you take the walk out into the “Christian world”, people don’t really want to talk about God or scripture. I find most people to be complacent with the god they know and don’t really care to search scripture for the One True God. If God is someone contrary to the idol in their mind, they don’t want to know what scripture says. So, we arrive at my thorn.

When the pastor mentioned this morning about righteous anger, I thought of the scripture “be angry and sin not.” I am angry most days because of the superficial religion of Christianity and that people can so effortlessly call them selves Christians yet not know one thing about the God they say they serve. I am angry because we are outcast yet not one person that casts us out can tell you what we believe. And if they have an idea, they cannot use scripture to explain to us why we are so wrong. I get bitter about other persons’ self-righteousness and how they neglect to see their own sin. Sin is so common they cannot see it as sin. A pastor I listen to on occasion made a statement and this is not verbatim but was something like this, “we look like the world, we act like the world, and we sound like the world but do not know it because we do not know the Word of God.” This resonated with me so much, not only for myself, but also for those around me. This is what I see as righteous judgment. I’m angry because these people who call themselves Christian are sinning against God and cannot see their sin. They are serving a false god and call themselves Christian. The superficial religion makes me angry.

And then I start to think, am I angry because they are sinning against God or am I angry that they are casting us out? If this is the case, my motivation is wrong. My righteous anger is no longer righteous but sinful. When I really meditate on this question, I must say it is a little bit of both. I so desperately want them to see God the way I see God. I want them to see their sin the way I see my sin. I want them to see our need for Christ and our depravity as humans. Then and only then do we see His glorious sacrifice. Then and only then do we truly believe in God. This is true belief; when we see ourselves as rotten, filthy rags and see that we have no righteousness in us and the only hope we have is in the work He did on the cross. I want them to see they are not good people just like I am not a good person. (Romans 3:10-11…well, the whole book of Romans.)

And at the same time all of that emotion is going on, I am bitter and I am mad. Why won’t they just listen to us? Why won’t they just talk to us? Why won’t they just discuss this with us? Notice all those “us”es? Where is God in that? We’re no longer pointing at God for glory, we’re pointing at us. We contradict what we believe by saying why won’t they listen. We say we believe the Spirit does this work; yet, we try to force them to see. And we can’t. Only God can make them see. (John 6:44-66)

I do praise God for my friends with different doctrinal beliefs that can discuss these things with me. I see in them the same drive to know God. I see in them the same conviction over sin and the true sense they know why they need Christ. The only difference between us is I say Christ 100%, and they say Christ 99.9%, us .1%, right? (Saying this with a grin because I know who is going to get that.)

I pray to God for understanding and for righteous anger. I pray that my sinful anger can be controlled and that I seek God’s glory in all things.

Losing Michelle...

Can you say epiphany?! All great thoughts…happen in the shower. For all my bloggy pals and blog readers, I think about you all a lot. I think about what you’ve said and what I’ll say and what she said he said. Just ask my husband. He gets to hear about it.

So, I was in the shower today taking my sweet and merry time. JJ was in his swing hopefully going to sleep and Lily was in her bed hopefully continuing to sleep. If they weren’t sleeping, who cares! I’m in the shower! And we all know how I feel about showers, right?

Shall we go back to the thinking? I was thinking about some recent folks I have encountered (in real life as well as the blogosphere), blogs I have read, and goals Nate and I have for our family. For several weeks now, I have had the urge or felt the push to go towards a more theological approach to my blog. I just was not sure how or if it was too deep. I have readers from very different perspectives. There are Christians, believers, atheists, and even a pagan or two. (Yes, I term Christians and believers as two different things sometimes…more on that another day!) When I first started blogging, I did not follow many Christian blogs, or at least blogs that blogged about being a Christian. Through Tony C, I found Abundantly Living and Fire and Grace. And through Abundantly Living I found Psalm 104:24. I really enjoyed reading their blogs. They were really thought provoking and I wanted more. So, I journeyed out on a blog hop and found some other great blogs I mentioned a few days ago.

Anyhow. As I was showering, I thought to myself, “Where should Finding Michelle… go?” Wait a minute… let me take a detour.

If you recall, Tony C is whom I turned to when I decided to start a blog. (Read about that here. It's kind of funny!) And once again, his words echo in my head, “Your name is important. Take your time and think about it.” Well, geez, Tony! I don’t take my time for anything. If I get it in my head it’s done within a few hours if not minutes. Just ask Nate. He’ll tell you a story about how one day he was pressure washing the back deck, and when he turned around I had over half the rails knocked off. What can I say I wanted new deck railings! And then there is the time he came home and most of the carpet in the house had been ripped up and thrown out. Like I said, I’m not much of a time taker. Anyways, Finding Michelle…was fine for what I was going for. And still is…but back on track.

As I was showering, I thought to myself, “Where should Finding Michelle… go?” And then it all hit me. The purpose of this blog was to find myself outside motherhood. It was to be an outlet and a tracking of my journey to reclaim my identity. And in my head all I could hear was “deny self, deny self, deny self.” And then it all came together for me. Did God use motherhood as away for me to die and for Christ to live in me? When I became a mother, most if not all of my worldly affections were put aside. I let go of my image. And for a woman, her image cracks up to a lot of other worldly affections whether it be exercising, shopping, and/or other hobbies.

So here I am trying to find Michelle when I really need to be losing her.

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:24-25

Reflections on Parenting, Part 1

After several months of debating to buy and waiting on BFF to finish her reading, I finally got my hands on my much-coveted Parenting by The Book by John Rosemond. Rosemond uses biblical principals to outline how parents have been lead astray and away from the Bible in child rearing. Rosemond explains the change occurred in and around the 1960s when parents stopped listening to “Grandma” and started listening to folks with letters following their names.

Rosemond hits the nail on the head about the frustrations and anxiety parents raising children today are facing. I love it when he describes how parents are confused about everything. “…when to toilet train, how to deal with tantrums, how and when and even where to put their kids o bed…discipline… feed the children… talk to the children...” He’s exactly right. As a parent, I see in young children, teens, and young adults how something about parenting has gone terribly wrong. We are left confused not knowing where to turn but knowing the current way is not doing so hot. And here we are with the “Tower of Parent-Babble” of parenting books to decipher what the right way is to parent. Rosemond lays out some critical issues in parenting that he always goes back to biblical principles.

Due to the Tower of Parent-Babble, there has arisen this horrific focus on “self-esteem.” Even Christian parents believe in guarding our children to protect their self-esteem. Rosemond does a great job of explaining just how self-esteem is a form of idolatry and is extremely harmful to the child. (He goes on to explain a development of self-respect that comes from humility and serving others.) Self-esteem leads into a loss of manners, manipulative behavior, and a disregard for others.

Before reading the book, I had become familiar with the “esteem” issue from various sermons I had listened to. It really made sense that self-esteem was exactly contrary to what scripture teaches. Jesus told us to deny ourselves and to follow Him. (Matthew 16:4) My previous meditations on self-esteem helped to have a good understanding of where he was coming from in the book. Being raised in the world of self-esteem AND having a psychology degree, it’s very hard as a parent and a Christian to do what is right with the child. Already we find ourselves worrying about Lily’s future since she is so passive. We don’t want her to get ran over or have any anxiety issues. Biblically, our thinking is wrong. Lily needs to be humble and slow to speak. Grandma was right when she said is wasn’t polite to show off and we can get too big for our britches. There is nothing I can’t stand more than a kid (mostly teens and pre-teens) that brags on and on. Well, yes there is, the parent who brags right behind him/her. And here I am, praising her all the way for every little milestone. Please, God, help me to be humble to teach them humility. Pride is such a rampant and natural way.

Anyways, back on track. Parents today don’t want to admit their two and three year olds misbehave because they are inherently sinful. Heck, they don’t want to admit their teenagers are inherently sinful. They want to contribute it to development. Instead of meeting the behavior head on, forcing the right behavior, and then teaching the difference between right and wrong, parents are trying to modify behavior (like with a dog) and/or explain the behavior off as something psychological the child is dealing with. If we tell them they are wrong or they've sinned, it might hurt their self-esteem. Christian parents are forgetting about what the Bible teaches about the fall of man. I guess when you have to face that your child is born to sin, you must admit that you too have the fallen nature. This is a hard thing for many folks to grasp.

Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. Psalm 51:5

Rosemond also goes into how the parents are over-involved in their children’s lives. I completely agree. The best examples of parents being overly involved are when the parents are going to school to defend their kids from being corrected or being bullied. This type of behavior is apparently going on into adulthood with parents going to colleges and working things out for their adult children. And then, the helicopter parent gets REALLY involved and calls for job interviews for the child. Rosemond gives an example in the book of employers having problems with hiring younger adults. The younger adults 1.) Have no respect for authority, 2.) Have a sense of entitlement, and 3.) Have parents calling in due to bad job performance ratings. (These three were taken from different excerpts in the book and are my own interpretation.) This is really hard for me to imagine. I was very independent from the time I turned 16, maybe even before. But hey, I see it in some of the teens I’m around. Parents, especially mothers, are enabling their children by being “too” there for them.

You know, when you think about it. This is what we have all around us. People, adults and children alike, who think the world has something to owe them. There is no respect, responsibility, or resourcefulness. What do you think? Do you think the self-esteem error era has something to do with it?

I have a lot I want to say about this book. (I have a lot to say about a lot of things. Thanks God for blogs!) I really want to get into what Rosemond says about the roles in the family and his take on discipline. So, look for Part 2 and Part 3.

God Let Me See

As I reach for a double dose of caffeine this morning, I am still rejoicing over the experience God gave me last night. I am so convicted and so broken. My eyes are open and I can see how far away from God I truly am. It’s easy to feel close to God when you are surrounded with worldliness and shallow Christianity. Last night I met with a group of women who are truly amazing and they give all the glory to God.

My entrance into this group came from an interest in homeschooling. A friend of a friend suggested that I come to a Mom’s group that meets once a month and just happened to be at her house this month. I was very on board from the beginning due to my search for other Christian women to be a part of my life in some way.

As the night began and all of the women arrived, the diverse group was somewhat quiet and reserved. On this particular evening, the forum was open and there was no specific topic. I listened as the women spoke back and forth about their homes and their schools. My insides leaped for joy as I listened about their daily times with God as a family, about their children glorifying God in all they do, and about not having excuses for sin. When the hostess asked if I had anything on my mind…well, you know me. Of course, I had something on my mind; I had many things on my mind. And she really set me up when she said it could be about anything… worship, family…whatever. I shared the walk and the struggle we have had to find people who wanted to speak about God and how we felt so alone. I shared how hard it’s been to separate when we are drowning in the world. I shared how in awe I was to hear and see a group of women be such examples of the role women have in Christian families.

And then it began…God blessed me and blessed me and blessed me through this group of women. My heart ached from conviction as I listened to their stories of tragedy and how they rejoiced in what God is doing in their lives. No matter how hard the circumstances were they faced, they acknowledged God’s sovereignty and how they cannot doubt what God is doing…even through the death of their own children. Their prayers were so honest about our selfishness and wickedness.

Through their conversations and prayers, I realized how I hold my children as idols above God. I realized how my role within my family is very far from where God wants me to be. I realized how my housework is more important than my time with God and leading my children up in the way they should go.

I found a group of women where my spirit can find rest. I found a place where God is the conversation and I don’t feel awkward because talk is of clothes and homes and stuff.

Thank you God for how you used these women to convict me and open my eyes. Forgive me for my evilness and my vanity. Thank you for allowing me to have the ability to see who I am…

Nate finally blogged! Watch out!

As I mentioned last week two weeks ago, Nate was supposed to do a little guest blogging for me. He finally took some time to give my blog some time. He apparently wanted to do a little story of us of his own and decided it was too personal. And apparently, he decided to use my blog as a pedestal to declare to the world his annoyances! So here goes…hold on…and prepare to get a preaching!

I had previously written a different blog post. It quickly became more personnel than I intended; therefore, it will be shelved for now.

For this guest post, I will rant a little about nothing in particular and whatever comes to mind. Also note while reading this, I will quickly judge myself on the same topics and no one is harder on me than me.

1. This is a big one. Please stop telling yourself and everyone else, “I celebrate the birth of Christ.” Come on people. I will not got into deep details about pagan roots and biblical definitions of Christmas other than to say things esteemed in this world are not of GOD. How exactly does one celebrate God on his alleged birthday? How does one honor God on this day? Apparently buying presents for kids, parents, friends, and co-workers honors God. Try doing what Christ told the rich young ruler. Go and sell everything you have and come follow Me. I bet Christ would see that as honorable but only if done in a humble spirit. There is even self-righteousness in the good deeds done this time of year. Yeah, sure your intentions are to help someone out in need but why not do it privately? Why must we insist on telling others the good we have done? It really bothers me when a church Sunday school will buy for a family and then bring the family in front of the church and make a spectacle of the whole ordeal. Why? Is God unable to see a good deed if not verified in front of the congregation? I will tell you why this takes place. It makes the giver feel good. The family is probably a little embarrassed but so wanting to give their kids a nice Christmas with toys and such that a little humility is warranted. And don’t we feel proud of ourselves for donating $10 to a family with little money and no food and then go home and gorge on more food than an army could eat and give presents to kids who have everything they need and say a fat-cheeked man with a beard brought them. Praise God…. Listen, I am not stating that I am the vision of giving. But I also don’t do something for myself that is worldly and over indulgent and justify the action by doing it in Christ’s name either. If you would really consider your actions and motives this Christmas you would come to the conclusion that Christ is in fact not the “Reason for the Season.” His name is rarely spoken of, we are swapping presents with believers and unbelievers alike, and we tell our kids that a man with God-like characteristics is bringing them presents. Ask a 4 year old, what the meaning of Christmas is? They will tell you it’s “Christ’s birthday.” Then tell them Santa isn’t coming. We are reading the Word and fellowshipping with believers. Tell me what they think Christmas is about now. Heck, tell a 15 year old they will be getting no presents and gauge the reaction.

2. While we’re on the subject of the children, let me get off the subject of Christmas. An 8 year old does not need a cell phone. We can try and justify this many ways… “They need to call me when they get done with practice” or “they are always on my phone and running up my minutes.” If a parent constantly needs lead times and notices to arrange transportation for their children then either one or both of them are too busy. Try just saying, “she doesn’t NEED a phone, I just wanted to get it for her.” Then admit she is spoiled.

3. And finally. Men, stay at home with your family. Put down the golf clubs, lay your fishing rod down, lay off the work and come home and spend some time with your little ones. You will not regret it. I see so many dads who can’t help but spend all their spare time playing and working. (And I’m not speaking of the occasional fisherman or golfer. Because I know sometimes we do need a break.) You will have all the time you want when your babies are grown. I bet you will not regret one minute you spent with them. Your friends, if true, will not disown you. The children cherish every minute spent with them. My golf game has suffered, I haven’t a clue where the fish are at the lake… and I could care less. Seeing my little boy roll in the floor and my little girl do something completely random could take away the blues from any day I had. You want stress relief? Then push a 2 year old on the swing and check out that smile. You want to go to a happy place, pick up a 7 month old who smiles ear to ear simply because you picked him up. Your mere presence means the world to them. Be there. When I die I would much rather someone say he was a loving father (and mean it) than to say he was a 3 handicap golfer or he dominated the local rodeo circuit on Douglas lake.

Wow. Random.

Let me fill you in a bit and maybe sum things up. All of the above are hot topics of discussions amongst Nate and some others lately or things that weigh heavy on his mind. Every December I think we face this in some way or another as a couple. We see things that a mere few others see. People seem to be blinded by the world and what the world has to offer. We, as a culture, have become so desensitized to sin that it has not only become normal, but acceptable. As a Christian, it is hard to watch those who claim to be Christians drown in the worldliness. We find ourselves so confused and broken-hearted that they cannot see. But then we must remind ourselves, they have not been given an ear to ear or eyes to see. (For who makes you differ from another? And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it? I Corinthians 4:7)

We understand that not all those who claim to be Christian do not live this way or follow this same path. We just do not know many that are not on that path and we find ourselves very alone. But then we praise God, because we know God has us on the right path to Him.

Enter by the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many that go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way that leads to life, and there are few that find it. Matthew 7:13-14

(BTW- I'm pulling for the other blog post to get finished because I know you'll like it!)

A Pagan Christmas

Since my husband has not completed his duty of guest blogging for me, I decided I must truck on until he is ready. So...

Excuse me while I lend you a bit of my serious side…

Each winter season, I am completely amazed at some of the statements made around the holidays. Usually these statements consist of “Jesus is the reason for the season” and “let’s put Christ back in Christmas.” Well, this year, Tim Wildmon, the President of the American Family Association has topped my list of “here’s your sign” awards.

I recently received an email from my BFF that she forwarded to me from her MIL. She knew she could get me going with this one! Thanks, again BFF… you know what I love!

Apparently, because of this video:



The AFA originally urged families to Boycott Gap, Banana Republic, and Old Navy. If you can’t understand the lyrics, let me quote:

Two, Four, Six, Eight, now's the time to liberate
Go Christmas, Go Hanukkah, Go Kwanza, Go Solstice.
Go classic tree, go plastic tree, go plant a tree, go add a tree,
You 86 the rules, you do what feels just right.
Happy do whatever you wanukkah, and to all a cheery night.
Go Christmas, Go Hanukkah, go whatever holiday you wanukkah.

Mr. Wildmon and his folks were upset because Gap had the nerve to compare Christmas with the wiccans winter Solstice. And they quote in this mass email, “Solstice is celebrated by wiccans who practice witchcraft!” They go on to say that “Gap also encourages you to ‘86’ or ‘dismiss’ traditions and ‘do what feels just right.’ Find more about it here.

This just bumfuzzles me. I am almost sure that Mr. Wildmon is probably a very educated man to become the president of the AFA.

I visited the AFA website and went to the “See who’s Naughty, who is nice” page posted on November 13, 2009. Upon looking at the comments, people truly believe the reason for the season is the birth of Christ and actually coin the day a Holy Day. A Holy Day!
See more here.

Most of my readers know this, but let me give a very brief lesson for those that do not know. Christmas is not the day Christ was born. Christmas was originally exactly what is so absurd to the AFA and other “Christians” all around… pagan. Period. Constantine amalgamated pagan traditions and the Church in the 4th century to create peace and keep control. Those pagan traditions consisted of yule logs, evergreen trees, mistletoes, etc. I will not bore you with the details… look it up. See for yourself where Christmas came from. I promise you, it’s not the book of Luke. This is not my opinion. These are facts.

Note: The AFA has not yet determined whether to boycott these stores because Gap responded that the word “Christmas” was used as well.

For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed himself into an angel of light. 2 Corinthians 11:13-14

But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. Matthew 15:9

Halloween Hypocrite

Halloween 2009 is upon us and I have become a complete charlatan. For years now, my husband and I have made the decision to withhold from Halloween and Christmas activities for religious reasons. Halloween is so obviously pagan, I believe it needs no explanation. However, Christmas is a little more deceiving by having “Christ” placed so strategically in it’s name. It’s hard for me to believe, first, how many Christians don’t know the pagan roots; and second, the number of Christians that know and do not care. I will attempt to not get into other folk’s choice to celebrate or not, and just deal with mine.

People always told us when we had kids our opinions of the “holidays,” not Holy Days, would change. I’ve always been pretty adamant they would not; I’m like a stubborn bull. Christmas was easy. I find the entire holiday to be so deceitful and such a lie. Besides commercialism, there are the pagan roots, the lie of Santa (fake God), and the worldliness and selfishness it so adequately embeds into our youth and adults alike. To me, Christmas can be summed up into a great idol. So, like I said, it was easy.

However, for some reason, just three months before, I was almost in tears on Halloween. This just did not make sense to me. As we drove through our neighborhood, I recall seeing all the kids trick or treating and having so much fun. All I could think was how much my baby girl was missing out on. I struggled so much with this day; it took me by complete surprise.

So this year, I thought to myself, “Let’s give it a try.” The entire time I was out buying candy and costumes, I was watching over my back to see who was watching. It was like I was buying crack in the streets and didn’t want anyone to see. I managed to get out of the store with no questions after seeing two people I know. Since the minute I bought the stuff, I felt so convicted and like an utter hypocrite. I was eating my words and this is something I loathe. Loathe, I say.

We managed to get through the night tonight. We’ve had fun, got hyped up on candy, and managed to not offer any animals or humans for sacrifice. It’s still hard, but didn’t I have such a pretty kitty cat?

We’ll see about next year…