Things sure look different around here the last two weeks. In case you missed the hint, baby #3 is on the way. Momma has gone from excited to feeling like poo. And may I add Resolution #6 didn’t happen. I find my husband cleaning up the dinner dishes and preparing meals when he is home. He does whatever it takes to lighten my load. He has been amazing and his take is… “We can’t let happen what happened last time.” You can read about that briefly HERE.
Mere weeks ago seem like an eternity…the days when I was proclaiming God had control of my womb. (Well, at least to #4.) Now, I’m looking at Nate saying, “I can’t do this again.” So now begins the battle of my will over conviction. I spend my days thinking about whether I truly have a conviction. I ask myself, “Is there anything wrong with stopping?” And in my head, the reply I get is, “Are you trusting God?” The best advice I have received is from my friend, mother of 5 boys. She says just “take it one baby at a time.” And today, that’s what I am doing.
I have reaffirmed my knowledge of how much people, even Christians, really just don’t care for children. Oh sure, they say they do…but when you get past one or two they go from a blessing to a burden in most people’s minds. I first came to this knowledge when Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar came out a few years back; I think they were only on number 17 then! I caught the show and adored this family. They had an unbelievable love for God, great family function, and awesome work ethic. I thought they were amazing. And then I realized I was alone. People, again, even Christians, can’t stand the Duggars. Why? Basically, they are disliked because they have no business having that many children…and that’s it. Never mind their obvious love and devotion to their Christian faith. Never mind these are brothers and sisters in Christ. Never mind that’s it is nobody’s business how many kids ANYONE has. And never mind that before those children were formed in their mother’s womb, our God knew them.
So, with mere baby #3, I get to face the culture against life. Here is what I have received:
You have got to be kidding me? I thought you did something to have that fixed.
No. Noooo. Oh well.
You are on your way to be Kate Plus 8.
You are on your way to a reality show.
They’ve got to get out of that church before they have too many babies!
You’re going to be like those Amish people if you don’t learn what birth control is!
And everybody’s favorite, Don’t you know what causes that?! (Which to my response has become…look them in the eye and dead serious say, “No, we can not figure out what keeps causing this!)
When did having more than two children become such a bad thing? Why do people feel compelled to explain how having two children is so much better than more? From what I’ve gathered the answer is self. People value their stuff and their own time more than they do having babies. I read a great article recently on how we multiply what we value. And how true it is. Our culture is all about increasing our bank accounts, our houses, our cars, and other treasures…and more children just might get in the way of that. People view children as a burden to the enjoyment of their own life. (And what’s that Bible verse my blog is based around?)
Christian families having unknowingly fell into the culture against life. Instead of rejoicing at another Christian family’s decision to increase the kingdom of God, they ostracize those that find joy in having children. In doing so, they deny the Word of God. They deny that a man is blessed whose quiver is full. (Psalms 127) If we believe God’s Word that children are a reward and the best gift besides grace He could give us, why wouldn’t we want more?
As I walked down the hall with my precious Jay yesterday, I gave him a sweet kiss and thought to myself, I could do this hundred more times…if I just didn’t have to be pregnant! The thought of it makes me nauseous…but then again, everything makes me nauseous right now….especially turtle-shaped bacon cheeseburgers.
8 comments:
"Christian families having unknowingly fell into the culture against life." This statement pretty much sums it up for me. This is the part that breaks my heart most of all.
I can't believe some of the statements you've heard over bringing a new life into this world. What are people THINKING? It's as if they have an auto-response system and say things without realizing WHAT they are saying.
Oh, and I can't BELIEVE someone had the audacity to show you pictures of turtle-shaped bacon cheeseburgers. Some PEOPLE.
:-) Love ya...gargantuan family and all. Hope you feel better soon!
As someone who struggled with infertility and with 2 pregnancy losses, I can honestly say that I have been brought, no dragged, to the point of only being able to trust God alone in childbearing and in to seeing just how rare and precious each birth and child are. I look at it this way, God says that children are a blessing from Him, so why would I want to deny myself of blessings? I say let God bless me as He sees fit. I also think there is no greater way for us to combat this culture than by being completely Biblically countercultural, and there's nothing more countercultural right now than to let God bless your womb as much as He pleases and to raise those children to be ready with the Gospel of reconciliation through Jesus Christ to preach His Gospel to every creature in all the world! Let us embrace blessings and have pity in love on those who are supposed to be our brethren in Christ and yet have flatly denied themselves of blessings in the form of children.
I have said, since I was a teenager, that I would have a dozen kids if God would let me, and I still feel that way. Yet even if I never have a dozen, I will be a "mother" to as many kids as I can, that God may be glorified. Let us endeavor to raise an army of the Gospel through our children and the children around us for the glory of God alone!
By the way, sounds like Nathan is being so perfect! If Jeremy could cook, he would, but as it is we eat alot of easy things, and sometimes he just gets me a pizza :)
I know which one I said!!
I'm happy for you guys. You are dead on that it's a cultural thing too. 'The more kids you have...the less you have for yourself.' That's about as anti-biblical as any philosophy I can imagine.
We have started praying together as a family before dispersing for the evening, and I wouldn't trade that few minutes each night for a winning lottery ticket! It's very precious to me and a tremendous blessing to lift our prayers together to a loving Father.
Speaking of...I'll be praying for you Nate! Nuff said.
When my dear husband gets asked, "Do you know what causes that?" he likes to respond with "Yes, do you need help with that?" :-)
So happy for you... agree with you ... I would love to have another baby just if I didn't have to be pregnant again.
Glad to read that you're pregnant again.
Surprised and appalled at the responses you're receiving.
I know that I count each of my sons as such a blessing from God (although now that 2 are teens I will admit that there are moments they seem more of a trial...) and am grateful to have had children.
May God bless you with as many children as He deems best by His perfect plan for you & Nate and your family.
Hi, Don't worry about the opinions of others, just thank them for their kind donation and be happy where you are. Children are such a joy and a blessing.
I had five, four living.
They are all grown up now and the house is empty accept when they come visiting. Yet this is never the same as the patter of little feet and a little hand trustingly in yours. LOVE...those babies..enjoy them while you have them, cherish everything about them. One day like me, you will wonder where the time ever went, and wish it was all back again. Hugs CML
We have a semi-large family and we do get the comments....how do you do it? I can't imagine, etc.
We still haven't done anything to prevent more, much to some of my family's chagrin;) Congrats!
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