Saturday, October 31, 2009
People always told us when we had kids our opinions of the “holidays,” not Holy Days, would change. I’ve always been pretty adamant they would not; I’m like a stubborn bull. Christmas was easy. I find the entire holiday to be so deceitful and such a lie. Besides commercialism, there are the pagan roots, the lie of Santa (fake God), and the worldliness and selfishness it so adequately embeds into our youth and adults alike. To me, Christmas can be summed up into a great idol. So, like I said, it was easy.
However, for some reason, just three months before, I was almost in tears on Halloween. This just did not make sense to me. As we drove through our neighborhood, I recall seeing all the kids trick or treating and having so much fun. All I could think was how much my baby girl was missing out on. I struggled so much with this day; it took me by complete surprise.
So this year, I thought to myself, “Let’s give it a try.” The entire time I was out buying candy and costumes, I was watching over my back to see who was watching. It was like I was buying crack in the streets and didn’t want anyone to see. I managed to get out of the store with no questions after seeing two people I know. Since the minute I bought the stuff, I felt so convicted and like an utter hypocrite. I was eating my words and this is something I loathe. Loathe, I say.
We managed to get through the night tonight. We’ve had fun, got hyped up on candy, and managed to not offer any animals or humans for sacrifice. It’s still hard, but didn’t I have such a pretty kitty cat?
We’ll see about next year…
Thursday, October 29, 2009
The first time I viewed the make up, I thought it had to be a gimmick. The prices were so cheap I didn't think it was for real. After some thought, I decided to give it a try and ordered a predesigned make-up kit for light skin. I payed a total of $22.00 for the kit and shipping. I received $2 shipping by going here. I received my kit yesterday and am very pleased. I love the eyeshadow brush the most. I liked the make up so much, I ordered more last night. And get this, with a special offer for just making a purchase I received this. For $9.95 I got the free mini-makeup kit, cuticle cream, an eyeliner, and makeup wedges and shipping charges.
Now let me say, I usually wear Merle Norman and this is not the same quality. However, the quality of the makeup far exceeds the price that you pay. I recommend E.L.F cosmetics! They even have men's products.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Today marked a beginning of an interesting endeavor. After a wonderful weekend of hay rides, wedding receptions, and pumpkin carving, my husband drops the bomb on me. We’re happily riding in the car, I’m munching on some Cracker Jacks, and he decides to, not ask, not suggest, but to demand that we are going to start working out and eating healthier. Hmmm. My reply is simply, “No.” As he urges on, my inner Stuart breaks out to argue.
For those of you who are not familiar with Stuart, meet him here in one of my favorite clips. The video will make your stop by the blog worth it all. For years, Nate has insisted that when I don’t want to do something, I completely and utterly turn into Stuart. “Noooo, I don’t wanna do it….” And “Leave me aloooonnne.” My voice changes and I become the whiner of all whiners. I am here to tell you, when I don’t want to do something, chances are I am not doing it.
And “I don’t’ wanna do ittttttt” is the way I feel right now about being healthy. I have not always been this way. Actually, the opposite is true. From my late teens until I had my first baby, I was a pretty active and fit person. Let me take a glory trip for just a moment to state my case. I started lifting weights and working out when I was seventeen. I was an amateur runner completing a half marathon in 2004. And the very week I conceived my first child I received my black belt in Taekwondo. I loved to workout. Although not a materialistic person, I was obsessed with my body image. I tracked calories in and calories out constantly. I have notebooks everywhere with food plans and workout plans. I even did the South Beach diet, which worked very well by the way. I know what it means to clean eat and at one time would have loved to be dedicated enough to do a fitness show.
After having Lily, I still had the longing to get myself back together and managed to run a 5K about eight months after she was born, even though I wasn’t sure I would ever function at all until about month six. I worked out pretty good until month ten when I found out I was pregnant again. It’s been all down hill from there.
I, honest to the Good Man above, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES want to workout or eat healthy. I have not a single cell in my body that desires to workout. I, for the first time in my life, am perfectly content eating chocolate continuously throughout the day. I am perfectly content being active only when I’m chasing my two year old and six month old around. I am for the first time, perfectly content being me. I do plan on working out again at some point, just not now. I know I need to be healthier and could lose twenty. (BTW- I’m at my pre-preg weight but the body changes so much during pregnancy that it appears my body has morphed into a floppy sack of fat.)
Let’s go back to the endeavor. He wants a week. One week he says. He says one week and if I still feel this way, I don’t have to do it. And all I can think is…. “I don’t wanna do iiiittttt!”
I’ll keep you updated.
Friday, October 23, 2009
So, for those of you who are unsure about becoming a new parent, I have found a site that will alleviate all your worries. This basic how-to covers most 'what not to do' situations that often come up during parenting. Worry no more! For the complete guide head to Baby Do's and Don'ts.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
So, I'll stop being nerdy prideful now. Besides, I've got a house to run today!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
It’s a family thing. The first time I met Nate’s family was a true initiation. I thought I would be meeting his parents and grandparents for a Wednesday evening at church. Little did I know, Granny lives BY the church and every person in the immediate as well as extended family either attend the church or go to Granny’s to eat after church. And every one of those people, like to hug… whether they know you or not. I felt as if I was in an episode of the twilight zone. (Honestly, I sometimes still feel like I’m in an episode of the twilight zone.) My discomfort level at that moment was off the charts. I’ve managed to accept the hugging over the years. Now after Sunday dinner or cookouts, I can handle hugs. Sometimes though, I can manage to sneak away with only a couple.
Let us get back to Nate’s hugs. I like hugs. Quick hugs. Nate, however, I swear would stand in one spot hugging me for hours. I have no idea how he manages to block everything going on around him to enjoy that moment. I wish I could do that, not just with hugs, but also in every moment.
This is the story of our hugs. Nate comes by and grabs me, usually when I’m washing dishes, cooking, or cleaning something, anything. Heck, JJ could be hanging upside down off the changing table and he would want a hug. So, I hug him because I know this makes him happy. I’m ready to move on and he continues to hug. So, I stay to give him a little more of what he needs. Meanwhile, my brain is racing as I look around. I see Lily about to conk JJ in the head with a hard object, JJ is crying because he needs a diaper change, I have a little time and I still need to fold some laundry, finish these dishes, and the pasta is boiling over! Oh dear God, I could even be going to the bathroom to pee right now! He continues to hold on!! I KNOW he is doing this because he can sense how antsy I am right now!
Antsy or not, I have a problem. I’ve forgotten how to live in the moment. I don’t know how to realize that the kids aren’t dying and the chores can be done tomorrow. Or even in 30 seconds, because really, even though the hug seems like an eternity, it’s probably not even a minute. This is my mommy problem. I’m so caught up in order that I can’t stop to appreciate what is around me. There’s always something to do and even that few seconds is too much for me to spare. I have a great husband, who most women would love to have, but mommyhood comes first and being a wife comes last. And I know for my babies AND my husband, it would be best if I moved that wife thing up to the front, at least a little…
Um… this was supposed to be about the funny awkwardness of our hugs. I apologize for the change in tone it underwent! I guess when we try to laugh at ourselves we sometimes see the truth.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Upon arriving, I was feeling those nervous feelings in my gut. You know… the ones that make you wish you didn’t eat that biscuit from Mickie D’s… nuff said. So, I’m pumped up and ready to go. The first zip line was a bit of a learning experience of how to use the brake… a.k.a., your gloved hand. This was a bit of concern to me as we were told if we push the brake too hard… you might end up stuck dangling on the line a couple hundred feet off the ground. Not a good place to be. So, as I await the rest of our group to go through, I nervously make loose “OK” signs with my hand to make sure I can get this brake thing down. And then… it’s my turn. This is no “Wahoo-ey”… more like “GOD HELP ME!!” I’m pushed off and am zipping along. Instant happiness. People waiting on the other side thought the Cheshire cat was coming in on the zip line. And that my friends, is the same smile I had on my face for the next hour and a half.
How did I manage the brake? Forget the brake folks… full throttle ahead…hands, no hands, upside down… just enjoy the ride. We zipped around two miles through the mountains, as my Nate would say, like a squirrel on crack. There were heights up to 250 feet and speeds up to 40 miles per hour.
See and enjoy more pictures on my Facebook page that I have made available for everyone to see. By the way, this is a great family adventure since kids are welcomed!
Thanks to the great guides at Wahoo Zip Lines for a great day!
Friday, October 16, 2009
After days of searching blog after blog, I found myself a bit overwhelmed. I mean really, two years ago I laid down the ol’ PC to ensure I was stimulating my baby appropriately; even had the Internet turned off. In the past, I would consider myself pretty technologically sound for the layperson. I was never into the newest gadgets or anything, but could handle my own. About a month ago, I finally got a Blackberry Storm and BAM! Here I am again. And let me tell you, I should have been stimulating myself a little bit. It’s true people, use it or lose it. I’ve done got damn near dumb. Period.
You see, I am a blogging virgin. Only by chance have I ever even looked at a blog. Blogs appeared occasionally when I was using a search engine to win an argument. So, here I am blogging. Granted, I just figured out, barely, how to use my phone and navigate Facebook. Now, I’m trying to keep up with Dashboard and MBC, all the while trying to create an attractive blog and find others to follow. That may not sound much to some of you, but like I said… damn near dumb with a 6 month old and 2 year old. AND I may be expected to Tweet! I think not!
I tell my dear hubby, Nate, I’m thinking of posting about a Blog Addiction and he laughs. He proceeds to tell me he knew this was going to happen. He says, and I quote, “Your OCD about this stuff. It’s either all or nothin’. You can’t do something just for the fun of it.” (And then reminds me of the hours I spent daily on BeliefNet back in the day, but that’s beside the point.) And he’s right. I cannot and will not thrive in chaos or disorder. If there is chaos or confusion, my brain shuts down and my alter ego, Shannon, takes over. Shannon is all about business and will not leave until things are under control. So, Shannon’s been hanging out for the past few days trying to get this blog thing under control.
But that’s fine. The dopamine is pumping!
I also want to say thanks to those who have left comments here or on MBC. I appreciate the support greatly and hope that once Shannon gets things in more order here I can network more productively.
Here's to Blogging!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I've always had a lot to say but sometimes not the most diplomatic or constructive way of saying it. This is a constructive outlet, right? So here's to Finding me!
Maybe a little introduction will help me get started... A mere two years ago, I became a mother and stepped out of the workforce. Becoming a mother, I had certain expectations in mind. I wanted to consider myself a "retro-housewife." I was going to be Mrs. Cleaver of Generation X or Y... wherever I may fall. I was going to be sexy, fit, spiritual, and motherly to all of those residing in my house. SHREEEEKKKK! That's the sound of my brakes as soon as I brought Miss Lil' home. Two years and another baby later, I realize I've got motherly down... most days, and that's about it. In my constant nagging mind, I have information on parenting, sleeping, nursing, toilet training, spit up, diarrhea, John Rosemond, Kevin Leman, James Dobson... (I can keep going...) but no room for taekwondo, running, spending time with my husband, maintaining/rekindling friendships, or maintaining my relationship with God. Those are all things I did...before kids. I find myself missing who I was and wanting to be something more than I am.
So this is my journey. My journey to find who I am beyond the motherhood. Now, how do I take that first step...