When Just A Hug Is Not Enough

Let me start by saying, I have a wonderful husband. There is absolutely nothing I should complain about. (Note: I said should, not that I actually don’t complain. There are several things I complain about on a daily basis, but that does not mean I should.) My darling husband loves to hug and touch. Those who truly know me know I’m not much of a touchy-feely type person. It takes awhile for me to warm up. Granted, after six years of marriage I’ve warmed up to hugging, but just a hug is not enough for my big guy.

It’s a family thing. The first time I met Nate’s family was a true initiation. I thought I would be meeting his parents and grandparents for a Wednesday evening at church. Little did I know, Granny lives BY the church and every person in the immediate as well as extended family either attend the church or go to Granny’s to eat after church. And every one of those people, like to hug… whether they know you or not. I felt as if I was in an episode of the twilight zone. (Honestly, I sometimes still feel like I’m in an episode of the twilight zone.) My discomfort level at that moment was off the charts. I’ve managed to accept the hugging over the years. Now after Sunday dinner or cookouts, I can handle hugs. Sometimes though, I can manage to sneak away with only a couple.

Let us get back to Nate’s hugs. I like hugs. Quick hugs. Nate, however, I swear would stand in one spot hugging me for hours. I have no idea how he manages to block everything going on around him to enjoy that moment. I wish I could do that, not just with hugs, but also in every moment.

This is the story of our hugs. Nate comes by and grabs me, usually when I’m washing dishes, cooking, or cleaning something, anything. Heck, JJ could be hanging upside down off the changing table and he would want a hug. So, I hug him because I know this makes him happy. I’m ready to move on and he continues to hug. So, I stay to give him a little more of what he needs. Meanwhile, my brain is racing as I look around. I see Lily about to conk JJ in the head with a hard object, JJ is crying because he needs a diaper change, I have a little time and I still need to fold some laundry, finish these dishes, and the pasta is boiling over! Oh dear God, I could even be going to the bathroom to pee right now! He continues to hold on!! I KNOW he is doing this because he can sense how antsy I am right now!

Antsy or not, I have a problem. I’ve forgotten how to live in the moment. I don’t know how to realize that the kids aren’t dying and the chores can be done tomorrow. Or even in 30 seconds, because really, even though the hug seems like an eternity, it’s probably not even a minute. This is my mommy problem. I’m so caught up in order that I can’t stop to appreciate what is around me. There’s always something to do and even that few seconds is too much for me to spare. I have a great husband, who most women would love to have, but mommyhood comes first and being a wife comes last. And I know for my babies AND my husband, it would be best if I moved that wife thing up to the front, at least a little…

Um… this was supposed to be about the funny awkwardness of our hugs. I apologize for the change in tone it underwent! I guess when we try to laugh at ourselves we sometimes see the truth.