Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Quiver what?

It was not long ago that I shared with you some of the more “interesting” responses we received with the announcement of our third child. At the time, I was entering into the nauseating stages of the first trimester. It was not long into this trimester that Nate and I both began to ponder just how we could possibly do this again. I would be more than dishonest if I said it was not sometimes near impossible to keep up with two toddlers while being, not only sick, but completely exhausted. I just could not possibly think of doing this again.

But, as always, God has a way of changing hearts and I still feel “empty” with the thought of only three little ones. (Nate, however, is not completely on board at the moment.) I am still not positive what my convictions are or if they are actually founded by Scripture. But I know a few things…

I know when I hear someone say they “don’t want anymore,” it makes my heart cringe.

I know that right now, I’m not brave enough to tell God how many children I am going to have. “A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

I know it doesn’t make sense to call them a blessing and at the same time refuse those blessings. “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” Psalm 127:3

As a culture, we say we love our children more than anything. Would you like $1 million? Well…YEAH. Would you like a bigger, nicer home? Of course! How about that new car? Yes. How about more kids? NO. THANKS. So, if we love our kids more than our money, our homes, and our cars…then why do we despise the thought of more? Why have children become a burden instead of a blessing? Is it that our children prevent us from having all the other “stuff” that makes us happy…but what does the Bible say? “Jesus said to him, ‘If you want to be perfect, go sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven, and come, follow Me.’ But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.” Matthew 19:21-22

I say this because I believe the number one reason people do not have more children is money. That is a question we get a lot. How are you going to be able to afford them? Just wait until they get older, they get more expensive. Is it possible they get more expensive because you choose to give them worldly things instead of godly things? I’m not saying that there are not expenses to having children; but I am saying the expense of your children depends a lot on the lifestyle you choose to live. If the lifestyle you choose to live prevents you from expanding the kingdom of God, then maybe you need to reflect on how you are glorifying God. So, now I ask myself, will I walk away sorrowful because of my desire for great possessions?

Of those few things I know, I also know this;

I know that regardless of what happens, God is sovereign. If He closes my womb, He is sovereign. If He closes our hearts, He is sovereign. No matter the spiritual battle I am currently having, His will…will be done.

I also know this probably won't be the last time you read about this...


Ma ~ said...

What a wonderful heartfelt post and it reminds me of so many of the challenges and thoughts I have/had regarding our brood. I'm getting older (closer to 40 than 30) and have had some issues with my last couple of pregnancies that some have advised me not to have any more...we'll see;)

As far as money goes, HE will provide. It is so amazing to me how He does it, but He does. There are choices to be made, priorities to set in place, but all in all we are very comfortable. It is amazing how much one can "do without" when it comes down to it.

Bless you sister as you fill your quiver:)

Tonya said...

Shell this really touched my heart this morning!! We have had so many people say in one breath how happy they are for us than in another breath say how it better us than them, and how will you afford 2. The reason we waited to even start trying had nothing at all to do with money and I absolutely believe that God has given us such a special gift in blessing us with 2 after all the hardship we have endured since we started. I, too, believe that children are an amazing blessing and it breaks my heart when I hear people (especially in my own family!) talk about what a burden their children are. The other thing people have said to me is that since we are having twins that now we can be done. That thought has not even crossed our minds nor have we discussed that. I believe if we are only meant to have these 2 then we will love them with more love than they could have ever known. But I also believe that if we are meant to have more then there will still be plenty of love (and money) to go around! Thank you so much for being so bold in your posts. I love love love it!!!

Cathy M. said...

Personally, I regret not having more children. I say, the more the merrier! I only have one caveat: I have friends who were involved in the early "quiver-full" movement of the 1980s. With some, it became highly legalistic. Don't forget your freedom in Christ or the mind God has given you with which He expects you to act rationally. Having said that, I totally agree with your assessment of our culture's choice of materialism over family.

Oh, and BTW, all that overpopulation propaganda is hogwash. Here is a great website on the topic:

Gregg said...

Very insightful post. We had four and I felt that was enough. I agree, God will always supply our needs if we are diligent stewards and not wasteful or selfish. I do think we make a decision based on scripture, experience, reasoning, etc. but it is God who directs our steps since he is sovereign.

We "planned" no more after the third and yet God "directed" our steps into our fourth daughter and what a joy she was and is.

Michelle said...

Thank you all for taking the time to comment.

Ma- Families like your family brings joy to my heart!

Cathy- I worry so much about being caught up in a "movement." I pray for discernment about the the Truth.

Tonya- You are just beginning a long road of everyone else's opinions. I know you are strong and will hang by your convictions.

Gregg- That would be something I should've added...being "diligent stewards!"

Tony C said...

You nailed this one! Both of my parents come from large families that were of meager means, but each family had a lot of love for God and for each other.

Money just can't buy that.

I recall a conversation around 9 or 10 years ago, while at a McDonald's, when you stated rather matter of factly you weren't sure if you ever wanted kids.

Of course, neither one of us was really listening to what God wanted back then...

Persis said...

I sometimes go back and forth with feelings of regret over having only 1 child. But I have to trust God's sovereignty even over our past decisions. In the end, He does cause all things to work together for good and His glory.

P.S. Thanks for the comments and for following. :-)

Toyin O. said...

I beleive God is in control and he gave you exact amount of Children you can handle. Praying for you:) Happy New Year!

homelover2 said...

Amen! I currently have six and after my husband was deployed, he closed his heart to more. I am praying that God will either touch his heart, or make a way for at least one more. lol
Thank you for the park recommendation. Let me know if you ever go and maybe I will join you!

Camille said...

What a lovely post! I hopped over from our mutual friend, Trisha at *Multitude of Mercies*'s been a joy to *meet* you! I've spent a little time here browsing to get to know you a bit.

How precious that the LORD is giving you a third little one to love and raise up for HIM! I am completely with you on the Sovereignty of God...HE most certainly is over every detail of this blessed we are to be in HIS loving care!

You are so right...choice of lifestyle often is a cost factor that ought not to be in the equation. We have seen the LORD provide in amazing ways and as I look back we were *crazy* to have even one child...but with each successive child the LORD has exceeded our *needs* and taken very good care of us!

Many blessings to you!