For some reason or another...I found myself intrigued by baby led weaning. It started with my desire to make my own baby food and asking some advice from Kimberly. The more I read about baby led weaning the more I loved the idea and knew this was the way for me.
I navigated the Wholesome Babyfood website and wrote down recipes and ideas about a month prior to when I planned to begin solids. With my other two, I was eager to start solids at 4 months. With the first the eagerness was the fact that every "first" was a momentous occasion I was awaiting. With the second, it was the mere hope that food might make this mad, crazy baby sleep! So, holding off until after 6 months to start my baby on solids was a totally new thing. And so was making my own baby food...that ended up not actually being baby food per se but just table food.. So, yeah! I get to skip making baby food purees! (For that to make sense...read more on BLW.)
As that six month mark passed and the seventh month approached, I decided to adventure out into the world of solids with Anna. And much to my chagrin, BLW and my personality do not mesh well. And Anna refuses to eat solids right now. I attempted on vacation to let her play with a banana. Oh dear...the mess that followed deemed this attempt not appropriate for vacation. I decided to wait until we got home.
At this point, I threw some oats in the blender and cooked them and mashed up some banana for her to try in her high chair. Do you know how hard it is for a perfectionistic, neat freak NOT to use a spoon and to allow the baby to actually make a mess?! This was hard. And she could care less about eating it.
I decided to attempt the spoon with bananas, oatmeal, and avocado. She is not having it. And Anna and I agree...this is what we think about BLW. (Please note...we were coming from the beach. We normally don't travel with our entire house in the van.)
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Friday, October 21, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Boasting Homeschoolers
Today I met that mom. That homeschooling mom I hope I never come off to be. To be fair though, she wasn’t actually the mom, she was the mom’s “assistant.” Yeah. I know. Anyways. I originally thought the lady was either grandma or just an older mom with still some little ones in the nest.
While waiting for our little ones to finish up a make-up class in gymnastics, we went about small talk as all moms do during this time. Honestly, I started this whole thing. If I could only go back and hit “rewind.” I noticed a girl of about ten doing some copy work beside me. Being that it was ten in the morning, I could only assume that she was homeschooled. The four other children surrounding this lady only reinforced that this family was probably homeschooled. (Isn’t it funny how we fall prey to stereotypes?)
So I asked, “Are you homeschooled?” And here begins the cat and mouse chase. Or could have anyways. This time, I decided, I’m not falling into this battle. I’m going to try to ease right on out. But she wouldn’t stop! Ahhhhh!
"She (insert Mom’s name) does so well with the children.”
“The four year old even writes the whole alphabet.”
“He’s potty-trained and he’s only two.”
“They do so good picking up they’re toys and are such a good help to their mom.”
“Yesterday me and the four-year old went out to pick beans. Because they have a garden you know. She was so excited to help.”
And on. And on. And on. I simply smiled and said, “Really.” And “that’s so good.” Friends…if I ever go on like this to you. Please slap me in the face and tell me to shut up.
Nothing has changed me more from being the competitive person I am than having children. I have even considered unschooling my children just to get away from the hoopla of the pressure placed on us by society. Having children I have learned that each and every child is different in each and every way. They all have strengths and weaknesses that are different from every other child, even the ones in their own home.
Seriously. I get so tired of the “let me one up you” nonsense that goes on between mom’s of young children. Let me preface by saying, I get tremendous support from what I like to refer to as “veteran moms.” They are so encouraging in saying that reading to them right now is enough. Read them good books and take them outside. Teach them good habits and obedience. Worry about the other stuff later…when you have to. Whether your child knows his alphabet at two or five…when they’re seven…it really doesn’t make a difference.
But just around the corner is that mom. You know her. The one who can’t wait to tell you her two-year old can count to 100, is beginning lessons in Latin, and they spend an hour a day doing creative crafts. Oh wait, and they were potty-trained at 18 months. The one who loves to make you feel…not good enough.
So, it is now time for confession, I’m going to let you in on some things. I don’t care that my 2 year old is not potty-trained. I haven’t even attempted it because I don’t want to…I’m tired. And, again, I don’t want to. My near four-year old doesn’t know how to read because I haven’t taught her to and because we spend our days doing other things…like playing and sometimes watching Dora. Gasp! Just the other day I was so impressed that Lily knew about stamps and the post office. How? Team Umizoomi taught her about it. My daughter is so cultured she can sing songs about hot-snot-sundaes and the gaseous affects of beans. And I taught them to her! Much to my chagrin, my kids laugh when they pass any kind of gas…while they’re saying “excuse me” of course. And often the only way I can get my kids to pick up their toys without their father threatening them is to tell them I'm going to suck them up in the vacuum. Actually, now I don't have to tell them that because as soon as they see the vacuum come out...they start scrambling. Even the two-year old.
In conclusion, Moms, stop bragging and competing with each other and start supporting each other. I’m not like you and much of what comes out of my children’s mouths may absolutely shock you…as it does me. Reality is, if I were a fly on the wall in your house, you, too would be embarrassed by what I saw. Be real and…
While waiting for our little ones to finish up a make-up class in gymnastics, we went about small talk as all moms do during this time. Honestly, I started this whole thing. If I could only go back and hit “rewind.” I noticed a girl of about ten doing some copy work beside me. Being that it was ten in the morning, I could only assume that she was homeschooled. The four other children surrounding this lady only reinforced that this family was probably homeschooled. (Isn’t it funny how we fall prey to stereotypes?)
So I asked, “Are you homeschooled?” And here begins the cat and mouse chase. Or could have anyways. This time, I decided, I’m not falling into this battle. I’m going to try to ease right on out. But she wouldn’t stop! Ahhhhh!
"She (insert Mom’s name) does so well with the children.”
“The four year old even writes the whole alphabet.”
“He’s potty-trained and he’s only two.”
“They do so good picking up they’re toys and are such a good help to their mom.”
“Yesterday me and the four-year old went out to pick beans. Because they have a garden you know. She was so excited to help.”
And on. And on. And on. I simply smiled and said, “Really.” And “that’s so good.” Friends…if I ever go on like this to you. Please slap me in the face and tell me to shut up.
Nothing has changed me more from being the competitive person I am than having children. I have even considered unschooling my children just to get away from the hoopla of the pressure placed on us by society. Having children I have learned that each and every child is different in each and every way. They all have strengths and weaknesses that are different from every other child, even the ones in their own home.
Seriously. I get so tired of the “let me one up you” nonsense that goes on between mom’s of young children. Let me preface by saying, I get tremendous support from what I like to refer to as “veteran moms.” They are so encouraging in saying that reading to them right now is enough. Read them good books and take them outside. Teach them good habits and obedience. Worry about the other stuff later…when you have to. Whether your child knows his alphabet at two or five…when they’re seven…it really doesn’t make a difference.
But just around the corner is that mom. You know her. The one who can’t wait to tell you her two-year old can count to 100, is beginning lessons in Latin, and they spend an hour a day doing creative crafts. Oh wait, and they were potty-trained at 18 months. The one who loves to make you feel…not good enough.
So, it is now time for confession, I’m going to let you in on some things. I don’t care that my 2 year old is not potty-trained. I haven’t even attempted it because I don’t want to…I’m tired. And, again, I don’t want to. My near four-year old doesn’t know how to read because I haven’t taught her to and because we spend our days doing other things…like playing and sometimes watching Dora. Gasp! Just the other day I was so impressed that Lily knew about stamps and the post office. How? Team Umizoomi taught her about it. My daughter is so cultured she can sing songs about hot-snot-sundaes and the gaseous affects of beans. And I taught them to her! Much to my chagrin, my kids laugh when they pass any kind of gas…while they’re saying “excuse me” of course. And often the only way I can get my kids to pick up their toys without their father threatening them is to tell them I'm going to suck them up in the vacuum. Actually, now I don't have to tell them that because as soon as they see the vacuum come out...they start scrambling. Even the two-year old.
In conclusion, Moms, stop bragging and competing with each other and start supporting each other. I’m not like you and much of what comes out of my children’s mouths may absolutely shock you…as it does me. Reality is, if I were a fly on the wall in your house, you, too would be embarrassed by what I saw. Be real and…
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Will I Ever Learn…
Last night after I read stories and put the babies to bed, I recall the frustration I felt leaving their bedroom. I don’t know why I felt frustration. It was just my way of once again being angry that things and people and life don’t fit into my mold of how it all should be…once again my expectations grind against God’s way and His plans.
As I sat on the couch, I recall the intense desire to go back to their rooms and take each of them and hug them just a little longer and give them another kiss. My love for them is so large and I feel at that moment that I haven’t and couldn’t possibly convey it to them enough…maybe, just maybe, another hug and kiss would do it.
I get a second chance this morning and I stop what I’m doing and live in the moment, and hug her when I first see her face. It’s not long before life becomes an emergency again. She peers up at my necklaces and asks to wear one. I see them hanging there and realize the last one she wore is missing and bark orders that if I allow you to wear my necklaces you must bring them back to me.
As I’m helping her dress, I begin to feel the guilt and I say to her…
“I hope one day you forgive me for being the first child. The child I have to learn how to be a good mommy with…” She listens. I continue, “I know one day though, you are going to be a very good mommy. What do you think it takes to be a good mommy, Lily?” And she simply turns around…and points to me.
She doesn’t see me when I fail…she just sees Mommy and love. I continue to believe Satan’s lie that I’m worthless and forget God’s grace and His promises. Will I ever have enough faith to stop trusting in myself and start trusting in Him?
As I sat on the couch, I recall the intense desire to go back to their rooms and take each of them and hug them just a little longer and give them another kiss. My love for them is so large and I feel at that moment that I haven’t and couldn’t possibly convey it to them enough…maybe, just maybe, another hug and kiss would do it.
I get a second chance this morning and I stop what I’m doing and live in the moment, and hug her when I first see her face. It’s not long before life becomes an emergency again. She peers up at my necklaces and asks to wear one. I see them hanging there and realize the last one she wore is missing and bark orders that if I allow you to wear my necklaces you must bring them back to me.
As I’m helping her dress, I begin to feel the guilt and I say to her…
“I hope one day you forgive me for being the first child. The child I have to learn how to be a good mommy with…” She listens. I continue, “I know one day though, you are going to be a very good mommy. What do you think it takes to be a good mommy, Lily?” And she simply turns around…and points to me.
She doesn’t see me when I fail…she just sees Mommy and love. I continue to believe Satan’s lie that I’m worthless and forget God’s grace and His promises. Will I ever have enough faith to stop trusting in myself and start trusting in Him?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Reality can change quickly…
God is so sustaining in our time of need. That day when I couldn’t take it…the day when the next thing that happened was going to bring me to tears. I saw Him lift it up and take it off of my shoulders.
As the pressure built, I sat quietly at the kitchen table as they played around me. I could look at them and see… that day, it was all me. They played together by my side while I dealt with my emotions.
And then they napped. When they awoke I could still see Him. I could still see Him guiding their spirits, as so to say, “Momma can only handle a little right now.” So, when refused a request, they simply walked away with joy and no questions and no crying to find something else to hold their attention. I sat on the couch, trying to find the motivation to prepare dinner and gain back control over the mess. I watched as she put away her blocks and her toys where they belonged…never being asked. I looked at him snuggled quietly beside me.
As I go to prepare dinner, he calls and says, “Don’t worry about it. We’ll go out.” And then there I am…a step ahead with tomorrow’s dinner half prepared. I continue on and put it away for tomorrow. As it is prepared, I hear the quietness around me. That curious quietness that sometimes cannot be good with two little ones. I step into the room, to find them both sitting there in the floor…each with a book of their own in their small hands.
I don’t hear the cries of squabbles. I don’t hear the questions. I just hear the peace of God saying…there will be joy…not tomorrow, but today.
As the pressure built, I sat quietly at the kitchen table as they played around me. I could look at them and see… that day, it was all me. They played together by my side while I dealt with my emotions.
And then they napped. When they awoke I could still see Him. I could still see Him guiding their spirits, as so to say, “Momma can only handle a little right now.” So, when refused a request, they simply walked away with joy and no questions and no crying to find something else to hold their attention. I sat on the couch, trying to find the motivation to prepare dinner and gain back control over the mess. I watched as she put away her blocks and her toys where they belonged…never being asked. I looked at him snuggled quietly beside me.
As I go to prepare dinner, he calls and says, “Don’t worry about it. We’ll go out.” And then there I am…a step ahead with tomorrow’s dinner half prepared. I continue on and put it away for tomorrow. As it is prepared, I hear the quietness around me. That curious quietness that sometimes cannot be good with two little ones. I step into the room, to find them both sitting there in the floor…each with a book of their own in their small hands.
I don’t hear the cries of squabbles. I don’t hear the questions. I just hear the peace of God saying…there will be joy…not tomorrow, but today.
He whispers sweet peace to me...
Monday, January 17, 2011
Reality
Today is one of those days. One of those days when the kids have been up an hour and I know we need a “do over.” I send Lily to her room to go back to bed for a little while…with these instructions. When you get up this time, we are starting over. We are starting over with a more pleasant attitude towards all of those around us. When in reality, I’m the one that needs to start this day over. I’m the one standing at the kitchen sink trying to just block out the incessant questions and the incessant crying.
Today is one of those days when we are riding down the road and I want to turn the radio up to block it all out. I don’t want to hear so I don’t have to answer any more questions. I don’t want to hear what is going on in the back seat so I don’t have to deal with it.
Today is one of those days that it takes all I have not to cry and to hold myself together. Today is one of those days when it takes all I have to not feel like a complete failure. I feel like a failure because I’m tired of answering the same question for the one hundredth time. I’m tired of putting the Handy Manny gloves on for the one hundredth time. I’m tired of settling the squabbles over hats and tricycles.
So, I just sit. And for today I let it all go. I don’t worry about cleaning up the lunch mess so I can put the Handy Manny gloves on his hands for the one hundred and on… second time. I just sit here and try to not be distracted by the toys that are accumulating on the floor so I can answer the same question just one more time.
I have so much to be thankful for each and every day, including today. But on the rare occasion, I have one of those days. Today is one of those days and I know tomorrow there will be more joy.
Today is one of those days when we are riding down the road and I want to turn the radio up to block it all out. I don’t want to hear so I don’t have to answer any more questions. I don’t want to hear what is going on in the back seat so I don’t have to deal with it.
Today is one of those days that it takes all I have not to cry and to hold myself together. Today is one of those days when it takes all I have to not feel like a complete failure. I feel like a failure because I’m tired of answering the same question for the one hundredth time. I’m tired of putting the Handy Manny gloves on for the one hundredth time. I’m tired of settling the squabbles over hats and tricycles.
So, I just sit. And for today I let it all go. I don’t worry about cleaning up the lunch mess so I can put the Handy Manny gloves on his hands for the one hundred and on… second time. I just sit here and try to not be distracted by the toys that are accumulating on the floor so I can answer the same question just one more time.
I have so much to be thankful for each and every day, including today. But on the rare occasion, I have one of those days. Today is one of those days and I know tomorrow there will be more joy.
Monday, January 3, 2011
As I Struggle…
Each day I begin a struggle. A struggle to show the grace God has given me to my children. Each day I struggle to be the joyful mother God wants me to be. I find it hard to forget about what needs to be done or how it should be done, and just laugh. Just how do I win their hearts and at the same time teach the importance of accountability and diligence?
I struggle. I struggle with the fear that I am badgering rather than discipling. It is so easy to go a sway when both our children are at the age where we spend more time teaching them what NOT to do than what to do. It seems as if correction overrules praise most days. I know this is just a season. I know that I should not grow weary…for I will reap what I sow.
It really isn’t difficult for me to be a “Yes Mom.” We make lots of memories and I allow for messes…but is it enough? Do I send them the message of joy in all we do?
Ann Voskamp’s memory moves me because it has been and can be me at any moment when I choose to be selfish. She remembers:
“How I turned the last child’s light out that night and slumped down a door frame and how I cried quiet in the dark.
The mother grief scalds the cheeks — but what washes away the mother grime?
That night I knew it: I’ve become the parent I knew as a child. The one I looked straight in the face and fierce vowed I’d never be. But my ears ring with the echo of my voice, that voice: Can’t you see what a mess this is? How many times do I have to tell you? What were you thinking?”
I have read this probably close to five times…and each time tears flood to my eyes because each day I struggle…I struggle to remain patient and kind and to use only soft words…words that lift up and show grace.
Each day I pray that I will be a mother they love and they long for when I am not there…but is my heart’s desire seen in my actions? So today, I’ll struggle…I’ll struggle to be present… not only physically, but spiritually and mentally. Because…
“When I am present to the Presence of God meeting us in this moment, I am not worrying, I am not regretting, I am not chaffing, griping, fuming, fretting.
Be all here: and be holy.
Be all here: and be happy.
Because the Presence of I AM always fills the present moment.” ~ Ann Voskamp
Monday, August 9, 2010
Turtle-shaped bacon cheeseburgers make me sick…
Things sure look different around here the last two weeks. In case you missed the hint, baby #3 is on the way. Momma has gone from excited to feeling like poo. And may I add Resolution #6 didn’t happen. I find my husband cleaning up the dinner dishes and preparing meals when he is home. He does whatever it takes to lighten my load. He has been amazing and his take is… “We can’t let happen what happened last time.” You can read about that briefly HERE.
Mere weeks ago seem like an eternity…the days when I was proclaiming God had control of my womb. (Well, at least to #4.) Now, I’m looking at Nate saying, “I can’t do this again.” So now begins the battle of my will over conviction. I spend my days thinking about whether I truly have a conviction. I ask myself, “Is there anything wrong with stopping?” And in my head, the reply I get is, “Are you trusting God?” The best advice I have received is from my friend, mother of 5 boys. She says just “take it one baby at a time.” And today, that’s what I am doing.
I have reaffirmed my knowledge of how much people, even Christians, really just don’t care for children. Oh sure, they say they do…but when you get past one or two they go from a blessing to a burden in most people’s minds. I first came to this knowledge when Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar came out a few years back; I think they were only on number 17 then! I caught the show and adored this family. They had an unbelievable love for God, great family function, and awesome work ethic. I thought they were amazing. And then I realized I was alone. People, again, even Christians, can’t stand the Duggars. Why? Basically, they are disliked because they have no business having that many children…and that’s it. Never mind their obvious love and devotion to their Christian faith. Never mind these are brothers and sisters in Christ. Never mind that’s it is nobody’s business how many kids ANYONE has. And never mind that before those children were formed in their mother’s womb, our God knew them.
So, with mere baby #3, I get to face the culture against life. Here is what I have received:
You have got to be kidding me? I thought you did something to have that fixed.
No. Noooo. Oh well.
You are on your way to be Kate Plus 8.
You are on your way to a reality show.
They’ve got to get out of that church before they have too many babies!
You’re going to be like those Amish people if you don’t learn what birth control is!
And everybody’s favorite, Don’t you know what causes that?! (Which to my response has become…look them in the eye and dead serious say, “No, we can not figure out what keeps causing this!)
When did having more than two children become such a bad thing? Why do people feel compelled to explain how having two children is so much better than more? From what I’ve gathered the answer is self. People value their stuff and their own time more than they do having babies. I read a great article recently on how we multiply what we value. And how true it is. Our culture is all about increasing our bank accounts, our houses, our cars, and other treasures…and more children just might get in the way of that. People view children as a burden to the enjoyment of their own life. (And what’s that Bible verse my blog is based around?)
Christian families having unknowingly fell into the culture against life. Instead of rejoicing at another Christian family’s decision to increase the kingdom of God, they ostracize those that find joy in having children. In doing so, they deny the Word of God. They deny that a man is blessed whose quiver is full. (Psalms 127) If we believe God’s Word that children are a reward and the best gift besides grace He could give us, why wouldn’t we want more?
As I walked down the hall with my precious Jay yesterday, I gave him a sweet kiss and thought to myself, I could do this hundred more times…if I just didn’t have to be pregnant! The thought of it makes me nauseous…but then again, everything makes me nauseous right now….especially turtle-shaped bacon cheeseburgers.
Monday, June 14, 2010
I need 32, 000 soldiers…
Have you ever wondered why you just can’t get it all together? I mean, why are there always more things to check off the to-do list? The house is never clean enough. The lawn always needs mowed. There is that other load of laundry that needs to be washed and for that matter, all the laundry needs to be put away. Nate’s clothes need to be pressed on Fridays. I need to run, too. And more importantly, am I in the Word enough? Have I prayed with the children today? Am I being consistent with the discipleship they need? Oh wait, I was reminded today that my child’s behavior might be a reflection of my behavior. Am I respecting and submitting to my husband the way I should to be an example for them?
I have this vision of the “Perfect Mom.” You know, the one whose home is immaculate with a side of fresh chicken salad and fresh baked bread for company that might pop in. The one who just baked extra food for Sister So-and-So because she is having a rough time with this pregnancy. It is a vision of the mother whose children follow like ducklings at the very sound of her soft, gentle voice. It is the one who knows when her neighbor is in need and is there to provide whatever she can to be a witness for His kingdom. I think it’s the vision of the woman found in Proverbs 31. I’m pretty sure that’s her. Have you seen her, too?
As I have this vision I’m reminded of Gideon and the Midianites. Gideon was prepared and ready for war with his 32, 000 soldiers; but God said, “No.” God said that was too many people. Why? “…lest Israel claim glory for itself against Me, saying, ‘My own hand has saved me.’” God weeded them out, all the way down to 300. That’s a big difference there Gideon.
And that is when the light shines through. I’m just beginning this journey of true biblical womanhood. If God allowed me to be “perfect” without tribulation, affliction, and trials, it would be so easy for the root of pride to neglect God’s grace and to take the credit and glory for what “I” have accomplished. I remember when I was pregnant with Lily and I professed to my family my desire for four children. My mother commented that I would never have four children because I couldn’t handle it. My sinful pride thought, “Well, I’ll show her.” At the time, my desire for four children was more so I could have a big kitchen table. God, however, changed that desire from four children around a kitchen table to a desire to create an army for Him. And you know what else He changed? I realized my mother was right! I can’t handle it by myself. But praise God that through Him and by Him I can! I may not be the “perfect” mom, but by His grace I will fold each sock, dry each dish, kiss each boo-boo, and hug my husband for His glory and His glory alone.
“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
I have this vision of the “Perfect Mom.” You know, the one whose home is immaculate with a side of fresh chicken salad and fresh baked bread for company that might pop in. The one who just baked extra food for Sister So-and-So because she is having a rough time with this pregnancy. It is a vision of the mother whose children follow like ducklings at the very sound of her soft, gentle voice. It is the one who knows when her neighbor is in need and is there to provide whatever she can to be a witness for His kingdom. I think it’s the vision of the woman found in Proverbs 31. I’m pretty sure that’s her. Have you seen her, too?
As I have this vision I’m reminded of Gideon and the Midianites. Gideon was prepared and ready for war with his 32, 000 soldiers; but God said, “No.” God said that was too many people. Why? “…lest Israel claim glory for itself against Me, saying, ‘My own hand has saved me.’” God weeded them out, all the way down to 300. That’s a big difference there Gideon.
And that is when the light shines through. I’m just beginning this journey of true biblical womanhood. If God allowed me to be “perfect” without tribulation, affliction, and trials, it would be so easy for the root of pride to neglect God’s grace and to take the credit and glory for what “I” have accomplished. I remember when I was pregnant with Lily and I professed to my family my desire for four children. My mother commented that I would never have four children because I couldn’t handle it. My sinful pride thought, “Well, I’ll show her.” At the time, my desire for four children was more so I could have a big kitchen table. God, however, changed that desire from four children around a kitchen table to a desire to create an army for Him. And you know what else He changed? I realized my mother was right! I can’t handle it by myself. But praise God that through Him and by Him I can! I may not be the “perfect” mom, but by His grace I will fold each sock, dry each dish, kiss each boo-boo, and hug my husband for His glory and His glory alone.
“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Too much like Martha...
Balance is often hard for me. I put my all into activities and ideas. I am by no means the best at what I do, but I work hard to accomplish things in a good manner. This week Martha and Mary have laid heavy on my heart and mind. I was cleaning up some things and saw where Lily had learned the story of Martha and Mary welcoming Jesus into their home. As I asked her again about what she learned in Sunday School, I’m sure my mind was a million miles away. My mind was on the kitchen and the potty room and what J.J. could possibly getting into at the time. As I half-heartedly told her my own version of the story, I literally remember sarcastically mumbling under my breath as I worked, “I could be a little more like Mary and a little less like Martha.”
Even when I just had Lily I struggled with the balance between homemaking and spending time with her. If I was cleaning I felt like I needed to be in the floor with her and if I was in the floor with her I was thinking of what needed to be done and wandering if I should let her alone to become an independent player. When J.J. arrived, the balance became even more out of whack on some days. Either way, the situation and she turned out pretty much fine. She loves to have us there with her, but she can also find ways to entertain herself.
As I have gone through the week though, I’ve realized my inability at times to just let go and be, to stop what I am doing and focus on where I am. I believe sometimes even though I’m there with my children, I can tend to become disconnected and not really be there.
Martha was so concerned with making her Guest comfortable, she neglected to enjoy His presence. As I tarry about this home, I focus on always doing the right thing and keeping up with this image in my head of who I should be. As I do this, I fail to enjoy those in my presence…even when the One of my presence is the One that matters most.
I pray that God can move my heart to be able to find physical, mental, and spiritual rest from the worldly concerns that keep me from having a spirit like Mary’s.
As I dealt with this even today, I was blessed to find spiritual uplifting from Raising Arrows when Amy wrote about The Perfect Mom.
Even when I just had Lily I struggled with the balance between homemaking and spending time with her. If I was cleaning I felt like I needed to be in the floor with her and if I was in the floor with her I was thinking of what needed to be done and wandering if I should let her alone to become an independent player. When J.J. arrived, the balance became even more out of whack on some days. Either way, the situation and she turned out pretty much fine. She loves to have us there with her, but she can also find ways to entertain herself.
As I have gone through the week though, I’ve realized my inability at times to just let go and be, to stop what I am doing and focus on where I am. I believe sometimes even though I’m there with my children, I can tend to become disconnected and not really be there.
Martha was so concerned with making her Guest comfortable, she neglected to enjoy His presence. As I tarry about this home, I focus on always doing the right thing and keeping up with this image in my head of who I should be. As I do this, I fail to enjoy those in my presence…even when the One of my presence is the One that matters most.
I pray that God can move my heart to be able to find physical, mental, and spiritual rest from the worldly concerns that keep me from having a spirit like Mary’s.
As I dealt with this even today, I was blessed to find spiritual uplifting from Raising Arrows when Amy wrote about The Perfect Mom.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
The Inauguration
What a task this may be! Oh but a blog is what I need!
I've always had a lot to say but sometimes not the most diplomatic or constructive way of saying it. This is a constructive outlet, right? So here's to Finding me!
Maybe a little introduction will help me get started... A mere two years ago, I became a mother and stepped out of the workforce. Becoming a mother, I had certain expectations in mind. I wanted to consider myself a "retro-housewife." I was going to be Mrs. Cleaver of Generation X or Y... wherever I may fall. I was going to be sexy, fit, spiritual, and motherly to all of those residing in my house. SHREEEEKKKK! That's the sound of my brakes as soon as I brought Miss Lil' home. Two years and another baby later, I realize I've got motherly down... most days, and that's about it. In my constant nagging mind, I have information on parenting, sleeping, nursing, toilet training, spit up, diarrhea, John Rosemond, Kevin Leman, James Dobson... (I can keep going...) but no room for taekwondo, running, spending time with my husband, maintaining/rekindling friendships, or maintaining my relationship with God. Those are all things I did...before kids. I find myself missing who I was and wanting to be something more than I am.
So this is my journey. My journey to find who I am beyond the motherhood. Now, how do I take that first step...
I've always had a lot to say but sometimes not the most diplomatic or constructive way of saying it. This is a constructive outlet, right? So here's to Finding me!
Maybe a little introduction will help me get started... A mere two years ago, I became a mother and stepped out of the workforce. Becoming a mother, I had certain expectations in mind. I wanted to consider myself a "retro-housewife." I was going to be Mrs. Cleaver of Generation X or Y... wherever I may fall. I was going to be sexy, fit, spiritual, and motherly to all of those residing in my house. SHREEEEKKKK! That's the sound of my brakes as soon as I brought Miss Lil' home. Two years and another baby later, I realize I've got motherly down... most days, and that's about it. In my constant nagging mind, I have information on parenting, sleeping, nursing, toilet training, spit up, diarrhea, John Rosemond, Kevin Leman, James Dobson... (I can keep going...) but no room for taekwondo, running, spending time with my husband, maintaining/rekindling friendships, or maintaining my relationship with God. Those are all things I did...before kids. I find myself missing who I was and wanting to be something more than I am.
So this is my journey. My journey to find who I am beyond the motherhood. Now, how do I take that first step...
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