(Addendum: Yes, I’m placing an addendum at the beginning. Nate told me to wait a day to post this. He said it sounded angry. With respect for his opinion, I deleted some things to soften it up a bit. But guess what, I am angry, this isn’t my normal tone for my blog… but sometimes we’re angry and the blog is a great outlet… carry on and ignore the anger. By the way, I don’t see the anger in the post.)
I’m not sure where this is going to go and I don’t know where to start… all I know is…this has been one hellacious trek up the hump to Wednesday and I’m looking forward to the ride down. Be prepared as I may rant. The stress of this week has given me a headache for three days. That headache, does not work well with the stress going on in my head. It is a VICOUS cycle.
My week started Monday with repercussions of participating in Halloween, which is another story for another day. Landing me on Tuesday with parenting issues that make me crazy! And here we are on Wednesday with a bunch of reflecting bungled up in my head.
Parenting has always been a big thing for me, even before I was a parent. I had my own issues growing up with my parents, I worked with parents and children in family services, and I watched my friends and family members struggle along raising their little ones. It is no secret; Nate and I even considered not having kids for a long time. We didn’t want to give up our lives and children these days seemed too out of control.
There are certain behaviors that many kids today are getting away with that we find completely unacceptable. Before we had children, we said our kids would not behave the way others were behaving. We still stand by it today… it is just a little harder right now. I stand with the school of thought that children are born evil. They do not have to be taught to be selfish, deceitful, foolish, or flat out little liars. They’re born this way. This is our nature. This is who we all are in our core. That’s why we need a Savior. I liken the raising of our children to God’s disciplining of His children. We are on the wrong path from the beginning and His loving rod leads us to the right path… and occasionally whacks us when we fall off that path. He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly. Proverbs 13:24
So where is the love parents? What are we doing! We are so messed up in this culture that regards self-esteem instead of esteeming God that as parents we are lost in what is good and Godly for our children. We were raised in this culture of high self-esteem. We’ve been taught that spanking and discipline will harm our children. What God says is conflicting with what Dr. Phil and an entire world of experts says. We are teaching our kids that if all your friends have it then you will too! We’re teaching them to not respect authority by challenging their teachers that Little Johnny would not do that! There are no consequences for behavior. I swear! Through all this preaching, I’ve come to the conclusion that the failing economy and the rate of foreclosures can all be chopped up to BAD PARENTING!
That is so not where I was going with this. I was going to rant about how hard it is to do the right thing for your child’s future instead of what’s easy today. But, it needed to be said, so I’ll leave it there.
I read a lot about parenting because like I said, we feel kind of lost in how we were raised and how God meant for it to be. I’m often shunned for my structured sleep and eating schedules and my desire to provide my children with stability. (I’m a semi-Baby Wiser!) I never get it, because that’s what they need. I want to do what’s best for my kids, not “what didn’t hurt us.” That’s why I suffered through the process of breastfeeding for a year even if it meant no freedom for me. We’re home by 7:00 most nights, because they need their sleep. And now that the time for discipline has begun, I’ll do the same thing…sacrifice and consistency. It’s not about what makes them happy today, but what is best for them in the long run. Permissive parenting is evil, and I pray that God does not allow me to fall into such a way… because it would be so much easier than doing it His way.
It’s hard to sum this up; I could literally go on for days about this stuff. I knew from the beginning parenting would not be easy. Not only would it not be easy, but also it would be the hardest job I ever took on. Another life is in my hands. The decisions I make today affect who she is in eighteen years, oh crap, sixteen…. Time’s running out! Can we prepare her to be the responsible, mature, respectful, humble, God fearing, independent adult we want her to be?
Maybe I should have her hearing checked…
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