Thursday, November 19, 2009

I survived Mother's Day Out!

I cannot believe I made it! I survived my first day of Mother’s Day Out! I must say, you have no idea what an accomplishment this is for me. And if you don’t, you are about to find out. This has been tumultuous and I feel as if I have been running the neurotic train for about twenty-four hours.

Let me preface by saying, Lily was never without me for the first eight months of her life. She would never take a bottle and nursed every two hours for many, many months. Even after those first eight months, the amount of time she was away from me has been minimal. Her Nana has always been the person to keep her and due to being an hour drive away, that has not been frequent. (Although, Nana does do her best to see her babies when she can!) I never planned this; I just could not cut the cord when it needed to be. Now, JJ is a much different story. He is fine. I realize he will survive and can easily go my own way.

I believe Mother’s Day Out is a wonderful program and much needed. In addition, there is the Parent’s Night Out one Friday a month. Nate and I both agree we should take full advantage of this due to our distance from any support we might have and our great need to reconnect without children in our presence.

So, I have everything set up and am ready to start. Lily and I go out to buy her a very special new lunch box to take her goods in. I continue to explain to her just what we are preparing for and that Mamma Llama is always there, even if she’s not right here. She usually just looks at me and says, “Mommy bye bye.” As she shakes her head no.

I decided today would be a great day to start since, CASA for Kids needs a little help with a mass mailing. I would be just down the road in case there is an incident. So, we’re set.

When I went to bed last night, I swear, I thought I was contemplating labor again. My heart pounded and my mind raced. Just the thought of walking down that dreaded hall way was so terrifying. I knew I could make it though. I just had to!

This morning was a great treat for a mommy who has NEVER had to get herself, a baby, and a toddler ready to actually be somewhere that mattered. And this being, feeding them breakfast, changing clothes and diapers, packing two diaper bags, lunches, comfies, and my own purse. Luckily, I did have the bags packed and clothes ready the night before. To add to the stress, I had to get eye shadow and lipstick off Lily that she managed to continuously get into through out the one and a half hour I had to accomplish this feat. I managed to be out the door by 8:34 A.M. The twenty-five minute drive really did not mesh well with my nausea that would not go away.

We made it and JJ was dumped off just fine. I knew he would be fine. So, we move onto Lily. We get her settled, I tell her bye as she plays, and head out the door. 1…2...3…here it comes. I can hear her crying for me and I just keep walking. My hands are shaking and I have to sit down to write my check, which may have totally been written the wrong way. I’m tearing up and really don’t know how I’m going to make it. I can do this, I think can, I think I can.

I get to the parking lot and call Nate since I’ve missed his call already. He hears me crying and he….LAUGHS!! He laughs at me! Now come on.

My shaking did not stop until well into putting several letter packets together. I have to say thanks to the lovely Missy for keeping me company during this tragic event. They said they would call by 10:00 if she had not stopped crying. No call. No call. I called them. No answer. Mrs. Meri finally calls back and she’s OK. She’s cried on and off, but she is OK.

It’s 11:30 and I head to pick her up. If I go early, I can get the details, right? I find JJ sitting in a high chair eating Cheerios grinning away. He could care less. I leave him there while I go to check on my Lil. There she is…she looks at me…and carries on. No running to me. No “Mommy’s back!” Just stays put.

Whew. We made it.

Now let me add, Nate called like five times during this whole process. “Have you heard from them?” “ Have you heard from them?” And he laughed at me!

Want to know more about CASA? Check out the National Website and for you locals, CASA for Kids, Inc serves Sullivan and Hawkins County. Most Juvenile Courts around the country have programs and it is well worth your time to support abused and neglected children in the court system!


The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Good job!!! It will be better the next time.

We/I never leave ever either. We had a babysitter who was awesome, but then we got a puppy and felt bad leaving her with the puppy (who is a handful) so we just stay in.

blueviolet said...

This is so great! The first time is the most difficult, isn't it? I'm glad it went so well!

Two Normal Moms said...

You rock! AND you find time to blog. Give yourself more credit!
P.S. It gets easier as they (the kids) get older. Hang in there.

Tracy said...

I'm glad that it went well and that you'll be more relaxed because of it next time. Child care was always a huge issue for me too when mine were small; you and your husband are wise to make that time for each other each month.

Two Normal Moms said...

The first time is always so hard! But it DOES get easier. For everyone!

Tony C said...

I think it is awesome you chose to spend 'you' time in service to others. That's a tremendous example to set for Lily and J.J.

That big ol' heart of yours just can't be contained...thank God!

Mrs. Wilbur said...

Good for you! Nice to know I wasn't the only one who fretted my entire first night out without the kids :) And the other ladies are DOES get easier

Megan said...

Good for you for volunteering for CASA! They are one of my favorite charities/organizations and do such great work and are so important!

Also, I totally understand the separation anxiety. We deal with it all the time here, but luckily have a nanny 3x a week, so it's a little easier. It sounds like you conquered the situation!

1 Special Family said...

I was a Mother's Day Out Director for 12 years. An awful lot of mom's are just like you. And more often than not, the kids react just like yours did, too! I am glad they had a good day. As another mom of twins, I realize now how much I needed those two days a week to get things done and to just rest! Relax and enjoy yourself! And -- yeah! for your work with CASA !!

Naomi de la Torre said...

I had the same freak out reaction to taking my first son Nino to MDO. It was awful. I thought I was going to throw up and pass out at the same time. But in the end, I made it and so did he and I am sooooooooo grateful for the time now. You did awesome! Give yourself a pat on the back. Your a great mom. BTW, I am visiting from MBC. Here is my bloggie too!