Friday, November 6, 2009

The Biggest Lie I Ever Told

This is so funny. I find a creative writing prompt for “The Biggest Lie I Ever Told” and sit giggling trying to think of the lies I have told through my life. I was thinking this could get funny and it actually gets embarrassing.

In reality, I am not a good liar. I can’t do it. I remember doing it when I was younger… not really lies, but not telling the whole truth. Is that considered a lie? I hid stuff. Personal stuff. Don’t we all? If we were completely honest, people would know just what we really are. So, I didn’t tell one, but lived a big fat lie when I was nineteen or twenty. This was a life-changing lie for me in more ways than one. I hurt someone very special because of this lie and wished more than anything the roles had been reversed. I found the pain of hurting someone was more than I could bear. Now, honestly, this was not the first time I hurt someone. I have more secrets in my past than I care to share, but this was someone I truly cared about. This was the lie that led me to the life of no lies and complete honesty. Well, sort of. Nate just learned he has to ask very specific questions if he wants to know the answer.

I really want to think of a funny lie… but it’s just not there. I think of my friend, SneedSnoopandF*, and think, surely all the funny stuff we did, there had to be a funny lie in there somewhere… nothin’; other than the big fat lie. Why are lies so serious? Nate lies all the time to be funny. I have to tell people constantly that he’s not telling the truth… even his own mother. I can seriously be in the room with the person he is lying to if they’re on the phone with him, and know by their expressions that he is lying.

Lies aren’t always bad are they? Sometimes we lie for the good of another. I can think of one such lie… let me reminisce back to 1995 to a not so bad lie. I apologize now if this is a little mind numbing… I had to think of a lie I could actually tell about!

A couple of students at CHS had a sports engagement to attend that conflicted with a certain Algebra II test in Mrs. Reyes class. B.D. and L.C. approached me for a little help with test in hand. I wasn’t sure how they got the test, but just knew they had to take the test early. So, I approach my good, valedictorian bound friend, Unspoken, with said test and we decide to work the problems out. And yes, she knew it was the test. Well, we hand it back to the pair and the day goes on. We take our test and of course score none other than 100… not because we had the test… we always made A’s. Shout out to Mu Alpha Theta! Anyways, when I had finished the test T.M. wanted some help, so the genius I am whip out the previous “cheat test,” (that I’m not really sure now how I got back), and hand it to him. Well, apparently, this causes a chain effect of pass the test back. Goofball R.H. has been sitting there for an hour staring at his desk and suddenly is writing like a squirrel eating nuts. Well, we all know Mrs. Reyes ain’t havin’ it! She goes over and picks that blasted pre test right up. Whose handwriting is all over it? None other than valedictorian bound, Unspoken’s handwriting. Oh dear! So, it’s my time to become the hero. I take the heat. I say I got a copy of the test, without saying from whom, and let Mrs. Reyes know, Unspoken had no clue it was the test. Everyone’s home free, all 4 or 5 of them, except for R.H. and me. This resulted in a big fat 0 for me, taking my A+ average to a big fat C! I had nothing to lose. Unspoken, she had a lot of hard work towards a big goal to lose. We giggled about it on graduation night when our Calculus class smiled for a pic with Mrs. Reyes. She had a good speech. Where is Unspoken now? Working at the university in the Big City. Wonder if she ever recalls that day? See, lies aren’t always bad…

And if you’ve met me since 1999, you can bet you’ve got the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth… unless you didn’t ask specifics of course.

And if you happen to read this Unspoken, I'm sure there are grammatical errors. I'm self conscious just thinking you may be reading it! :)


Nate said...

She is being very truthful about specifics. When she knows it is something I will not like she just answers, in as few words as possible, the exact question asked. regardless of the fact that she knew what I really wanted to know. Then when I drill down to final question, her knowing that I have finally figured the perfect question to ask. One she will not be able to escape.. She begins to cry and it all comes out, "I have been seeing him for 3 months." Nah, just kidding. She is pretty vague though.

Anonymous said...

teehee... incomplete truths is how we got away with everything in high school! especially me.... as far as the 'rents were concerned I was with you every weekend. that, of course, didn't mean we were at your house.

but yeah, I am and have always been a terrible liar... so I can't think of one funny lie either... it's not a bad thing.

oh, and I love that I know all the initials you used above. :D