Looking for Commitment

As summer nears and I recover from child birth, my mind weighs with what I should be doing…but can’t quite find the motivation. Last year at this time, I was preparing for the CASA 8K and my Saturday mornings were spent on the road. Now, I spend my Saturday mornings sleeping in and most days are spent guzzling and engorging sugar and caffeine.

I will say nothing touching, funny, or even very interesting. This is my attempt to put it out there. I gained a lot of weight with Ms. Anna. I’ve lost thirty and have around twenty more pounds to go. I want to be healthy…I just can’t find the motivation.

I need to be held accountable. I need to be pushed. I need a deadline. Who is willing to help me? Whether you are or not…

I will make a commitment today…no more sodas or sweet tea and no more sweets…until I get control! That is hard to say for me because honestly, I don’t want to do it.

Resolution #5: Check

After one and a half months of training, our Memorial Day morning was spent running an 8K-road race…in the sun and the rain. Number 5 has been accomplished and two weeks earlier than expected!

After two weeks of what felt like near pneumonia, I managed to run right into the finish line at 51:00 minutes. (This is two or three minutes LESS than what I expected!) I came in about 10 minutes after my darling husband had crossed the line. Somehow, someway, I placed third in my age division with Nate finishing second. AND…we won a Last Will and Testament from a local attorney as a door prize!

We’ll be running two races each in July. Run! Run! Run!

What you missed at 6AM...

When my feet not so reluctantly hit the pavement at 6:04 this morning, I didn’t realize what all you were missing while I was running. I had so many observations that the run became rather mentally refreshing.

As I started I noticed it was kind of cool and pretty foggy outside. My earlier 2-mile runs this week were rough so I jogged easily as I knew this would be a long run. (When I say long run, I’m speaking mentally not distance.) My mind always wanders while I’m running and my goal is to keep it away from how much more I have to run before I can stop.

This morning I observed the sun rise. I observed the birds gathering food and heard their beautiful song. I smelled honeysuckle. I heard the dogs barking at me and hence I surely woke up the neighbors. I heard a cow giving birth…at least that’s what I’m assuming it was…it was quite strange.

I realized I wanted to change my weekly runs to morning runs…it’s too perfect not to. I realized at a 10:30 or 11:00 minute pace I could run forever. I realized thinking about writing is better than thinking about running when you run.

Occasionally I would change my stride to see if something else made me faster; I quickly realized this put out of the “run forever” pace and stopped changing my stride. I reaffirmed that finishing with breath is more enjoyable than finishing fast and feeling like I’m about to die.

I ran over a shotgun shell. (Did I mention I live in the city limits?)

Forty-three minutes and twenty nine seconds later I finished my four miles and I kept running. I decided to trot on down Pilot Circle. Note to self: there is a large black dog at the end of Pilot Circle in the mornings. He meets you with a loud bark and an intimidating eye.

As I walked back in I realized the fog had faded and it wasn’t so cool. For some reason I was surprised that my hair was wet…it was like the work I had just done was somehow easy and sweat was an odd thing.

Sayonara, Adios, Au Revoir, Sampai jumpa…for now.

So, Nate thinks it’s funny that I’m going to blog about not blogging. Whateva, brotha!

If you would recall…HERE…I had a lot to do this year. As I have been complaining about for…eh…the last two months… I have a lot to do and the list keeps growing. In addition to the original “list,” I’ve since added being more “frugal aware” and hoping to get some preschool activities down for Ms. Lily in the upcoming weeks and months.

Let us recall “The List” and see how far we have come (Keep in mind, this was supposed to start in December 2009:

1. Simply, start working out at least 5 out of 7 days. No. I’m still as weak and floppy as on December 1, 2009. I’ve worked out about 3 times in 2 months. Today being one of those.
2. Drink more water. Sort of. I have drank more water, but one glass every two or three days doesn’t suffice.
3. Eat less sugar. …right. This one made me LAUGH OUT LOUD!
4. By April 2010, resume training for my second-degree black belt. Still time, but must get with numero uno or Joe Grosso will kick my bumbino! And then I will throw up and feed the cat-titos. 5. Run the CASA 8K on June 12, 2010. Again, see #1 and #4.
6. Spend at least 6 months out of 2010 not pregnant, nursing, and/or both. Not there yet…looking to start this one in April. However, God may have different plans.
7. Spend more time studying scripture. I have done this but see down below.
8. Find a church family. We may be on our way. We have been attending a church for around 2 months and we are currently involved in an inquirers class that should last the next 3 or 4 months. We’ll see.
9. Pray more as a family. We are doing this, but it still needs some work.

10. Spend at least one night a month with my husband without babies. (Not enough, but a start.) I honestly think we may be doing OK on this one.

Now, to why I am going on a hiatus. I have around two slots of time out of my day everyday. One of those time slots is at 5:00 in the morning…which actually makes those times slots one and not two since I have the most comfortable bed in the world at 5AM. I have some pretty big goals that are going to take up the majority of that time. I plan to do a complete reading of the entire Bible over the next 6 months. During this time frame, I thought it would be a good idea to take a break from blogging and complete the reading as well as get myself ready for Tae Kwon Do and the 8K. I believe I may do an update occasionally on this progress but take a break from reading and commenting. I probably will have those days when I just feel like I must write...it's in our blood isn't it?! I feel these other things are a little more important right now. I know since I am in such high demand all the time, you may need to contact me. Find my email on my blogger profile or check me out on Facebook.

I’ll miss reading your blogs. If you have a REALLY good one, one you need some fiery back up on…email me so I can check it out!

The First Step is The Hardest...

Pant…pant…GASP! I can’t breathe! In lieu of stretching, I decided to blog for accountability. Even though, I didn’t wanna do it, I got myself up on the old Sole E55 today and elliptical-ed my way through twenty minutes of pain. ridiculous! I have never, and I mean ever, been this weak.

I would say out of shape, but even in days when I had strength and six-pack abs, my second hand smoker lungs could not even grace the track for a mile. As much as I loved freedom upon moving away from home, I embraced a love for cardio. And I mean heart pumpin’, blood sweatin’, cardio. LOVED IT! It took a lot of hard work to build up the strength to make it through long runs and two-hour “Grosso” Tae kwon do workouts. But I did it…and now it’s gone…

Not only have I lost my cardio, I’ve lost my strength. What have these kids done to me! My arms feel like jello, there is cottage cheese cellulite in places I didn’t know could have it, my stomach looks like an old rotten potato…and at the risk of too much information… (edited...becuase it really was too much information!) Now that’s just wrong.

So with all this said, I have a plan. Yes, a plan. I’m going to be a lean, mean, Momma Machine. This month, I’m merely going to focus on regaining minimal strength. I will start with cardio and add weights when I feel I have been consistent. Once this is established, what my body has not already forced me to change, will be changed on my diet. I feel that when you work out, your mind and body sometimes force you to make some nutritional changes, such as more fluid intake.

It’s never too early, so let me share my New Year’s/Beginning in December Plan: (some of this does not pertain to just physical health and is no particular order…

1. Simply, start working out at least 5 out of 7 days.
2. Drink more water.
3. Eat less sugar.
4. By April 2010, resume training for my second-degree black belt.
5. Run the CASA 8K on June 12, 2010.
6. Spend at least 6 months out of 2010 not pregnant, nursing, and/or both.
7. Spend more time studying scripture.
8. Find a church family.
9. Pray more as a family.
10. Spend at least one night a month with my husband without babies. (Not enough, but a start.)

Totally did not know that would come out with a nice even number of 10. And a side note, I have never had even one New Year's resolution before.

Here’s to accountability!

I don't wanna do iiiiittttt!!!

Today marked a beginning of an interesting endeavor. After a wonderful weekend of hay rides, wedding receptions, and pumpkin carving, my husband drops the bomb on me. We’re happily riding in the car, I’m munching on some Cracker Jacks, and he decides to, not ask, not suggest, but to demand that we are going to start working out and eating healthier. Hmmm. My reply is simply, “No.” As he urges on, my inner Stuart breaks out to argue.

For those of you who are not familiar with Stuart, meet him here in one of my favorite clips. The video will make your stop by the blog worth it all. For years, Nate has insisted that when I don’t want to do something, I completely and utterly turn into Stuart. “Noooo, I don’t wanna do it….” And “Leave me aloooonnne.” My voice changes and I become the whiner of all whiners. I am here to tell you, when I don’t want to do something, chances are I am not doing it.

And “I don’t’ wanna do ittttttt” is the way I feel right now about being healthy. I have not always been this way. Actually, the opposite is true. From my late teens until I had my first baby, I was a pretty active and fit person. Let me take a glory trip for just a moment to state my case. I started lifting weights and working out when I was seventeen. I was an amateur runner completing a half marathon in 2004. And the very week I conceived my first child I received my black belt in Taekwondo. I loved to workout. Although not a materialistic person, I was obsessed with my body image. I tracked calories in and calories out constantly. I have notebooks everywhere with food plans and workout plans. I even did the South Beach diet, which worked very well by the way. I know what it means to clean eat and at one time would have loved to be dedicated enough to do a fitness show.

After having Lily, I still had the longing to get myself back together and managed to run a 5K about eight months after she was born, even though I wasn’t sure I would ever function at all until about month six. I worked out pretty good until month ten when I found out I was pregnant again. It’s been all down hill from there.

I, honest to the Good Man above, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES want to workout or eat healthy. I have not a single cell in my body that desires to workout. I, for the first time in my life, am perfectly content eating chocolate continuously throughout the day. I am perfectly content being active only when I’m chasing my two year old and six month old around. I am for the first time, perfectly content being me. I do plan on working out again at some point, just not now. I know I need to be healthier and could lose twenty. (BTW- I’m at my pre-preg weight but the body changes so much during pregnancy that it appears my body has morphed into a floppy sack of fat.)

Let’s go back to the endeavor. He wants a week. One week he says. He says one week and if I still feel this way, I don’t have to do it. And all I can think is…. “I don’t wanna do iiiittttt!”
I’ll keep you updated.