Monday, August 15, 2011

Missions Not Accomplished

I can remember a time when I thrived in the midst of completed projects. Whatever it may be…the attainment of my black belt, crossing the finish line of a 5K, or any such goal I may have set out to accomplish in this small life of mine.

The thought of a completed project now sends my domesticated, maternal, wifely-self into fits of laughter…psychotic fits of laughter. Going from goal driven professional to following my calling as “mother” definitely has had dramatic impact on my mental state at times. As all mommies know, the vicious cycle of laundry, meal preparation, dishes, diapers, potty breaks, discipline, naptimes, nursing, doctor’s appointments, play dates, reading time, animal care, ironing, grocery shopping, picking up toys, intervening in sibling rivalry, and list making can be…well… a bit unending. (And not to forget the fact that it’s canning season!) Completion is not a relevant term in my mind any more, as is evidenced by my reading habits.

It has been nearly four months since I have completed a book. Once a voracious reader, I took in books and devoured them in days with excitement. Not to say that I haven’t read a book in four months. Maybe five months? Prior to my youngest peanut being born, I had just finished Crazy Love by Francis Chan and John Piper’s Think and was ready for more good theological brain food. I started out with Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges. I was halfway through when 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp arrived in the mail. Being the emotionally driven pregnant lady I was at the time, I stopped all other reading and rushed to the couch from the mail box to devour…the first three or four chapters. Providentially, for whatever reason, I didn’t finish and haven’t even attempted to go back. AFTER, Anna was born I decided to attempt to pick up some more reading. Since that decision was made you will find a constant array of books strewn around my home…unfinished. I begin to read D. Martyn Lloyd Jones’ Spiritual Depression after borrowing it from a friend. Unfinished. I started re-reading Pink’s The Attributes of God. Unfinished. On my end table lies And Then I Had Kids: Encouragement for Mothers of Young Children by Susan Yates. Unfinished. And as of last week I started reading Sonya Shaffer’s Laying Down the Rails, A Charlotte Mason Habits Handbook. I even started reading A Quest for Godliness by J.I. Packer and guess what? Right. Unfinished. Not to mention the book I received in the mail today from the Grateful for Grace giveaway…I couldn’t help but read the first two chapters in anticipation. (The book giveaway was Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe by Todd Wilson. It looks applicable to my own life and I haven't even started homeschooling yet!) Somewhere in all that mess I DID finish Rachel Jankovic’s Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches…but it was almost like a series of blog posts so does that really count?

My Bible reading…much the same. I try to read some Proverbs and Psalms each day. It’s the only reading in the Bible that makes sense when read in bite size amounts and it seems bits and pieces of anything is all I can handle at one time. I did start to read through the New Testament and made it to Matthew 8 or 9. I also started in Jeremiah and made it to chapter 5.

But today…Nate announced he wanted to read through the Bible in 180 days. And eagerly my soul screamed, “Here is my chance! Here is my chance to finish something! Hooray! Hoo-rah!”

I simply want to finish a book that isn’t written by Dr. Seuss and doesn’t have pictures. And isn't the Bible the very best choice?!

And so begins my adventure…I’m glad I have hubby to tag along.


Tony C said...

I promise I read this...but I couldn't mentally get past you proclaiming it's 'canning season'!!!

Michelle said... another post for another day.

Petra said...

Oh my, I used to be an avid reader, finishing one book after another. But now, I have so many unfinished books! And I didn't even have a baby. As a matter of fact, my babies are all grown. I have grand-babies! So, what gives? Maybe I can blame it on the birth of my blogs?