At 3:00 A.M. as I crawled back into bed, I wondered if J.J. had started having nightmares. It reminded me of my own recent nightmares. Merely the night before I had one. As I lay in bed, I could feel myself becoming fearful once again as I remembered the dark figure from the night before. The tall, dark image. I can feel the evil presence that surrounded this image even as I recalled it in my mind. It was there standing in the children’s room with it’s back towards me. It moved side to side as if it was working on something. The image had a feminine aura to me. These dreams they haunt me through the night. They always leave me with such fear. And last night was no different as I recalled the dream.
So, I began to pray. I prayed God’s Words. I prayed, “I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” I prayed for J.J. that he, too, would feel safe. “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.” (Psalm 4:8 ESV) As I went on in prayer, my heart was burdened with all the idols in my life. So many idols. Was the dark image a portrayal of my idols? My idols being erected and working in my children’s room?
All the things that come before my God… my home, my children, the computer, Facebook, blogging…the list goes on. All of these things that I hold onto that are not eternal. All of these things I take hold of as if they are what was important and not the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Each day I focus on the finite and not the Infinite. I live like everything is so urgent. Yet, the one thing in life that is urgent I neglect.
I have family and loved ones who are living in their sin and rebellion against God. I have family and loved ones believing lies. Yet, I remain selfish, not wanting to cause myself any type of discomfort in sharing the Gospel. I don’t love them enough to tell them daily that they are dead and in need of a Savior. I don’t love them enough to tell them until it is my last breath how urgent it is they repent and believe. Instead, I go on…and serve my idols.
This morning I repented of my idols. I can only pray and place my hope in Him.