Pregnancy Woes and Potatoes

Along with the excitement of a new bundle of joy, pregnancy has many other things to offer. Gasping for air. An unlimited intake of Tums. Waddling induced by aching hips. But for me...the best of all is medical grade compression stockings. Some of you may know them as TED hose. Either way, each morning before leaving the bed, I must wrestle and grapple with what should be impossible. I pray daily there is no hidden camera in our room catching what could be damaging collateral as I "waller" around the bed.

I couldn't help but notice the other day that the end result reminds me a bit of my childhood. It was a neat little craft we did with pantyhose...it was so strange the striking resemblance my thighs have with....

The Pantyhose Potato!!!



Oh well...I'll be up and running again soon.

Longing for God

“O God, You are my God;

Early will I seek You;

My soul thirsts for You;

My flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land

where there is no water.”

Psalm 63:1

How this passage speaks to me! My heart’s desire is to know God. I have the longing to know Him; yet, I am in this world where He often seems so hard to find. I search and I search. And then I find comfort…

“And those who know Your name

will put their trust in You;

For You, Lord, have not forsaken

Those who seek You.”

Psalm 9:10

What confidence to know that my continued seeking Him is a mark He has not forsaken me!

Homeschooling: The Early Years Book List

 These first few years one of my goals is to introduce good reading to my little ones. I have put together a list of books that I have introduced or want to introduce to them during these preschool years. (Some of these are books for Mommy.) The books I have found so far are books recommended by Before Five in A Row, Simply Charlotte Mason, and some good friends that have been there, done that. I consider this a "rough draft" for the time being and hope to add more great books as we go along.

Momma's Book List

• The Mother at Home by John Abbott
• Before Five in A Row Parent Book
• Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons 
• Honey for a Child's Heart Gladys Hunt
• Leading Little Ones to God by Marian Schoolland
• Mommy Teach Me by Barbara Curtis
• Mommy Teach Me to Read by Barbara Curtis

Preschool Book List

• The ABC Bunny by Wanda Gag
• If Jesus Came to My House by Joan Gale Thomas
• Blueberries for Sal by Robert McCloskey
• Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey
• Poems and Prayers for the Very Young by Martha Alexander
• A Child's Garden of Verses by Robert Lewis Stevenson
• The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

• The Big Red Barn
• We're Going on a Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen
• Ten Little Lady Bugs
• Runaway Bunny
• Brown Bear, Brown Bear
• Barnyard Dance by Sandra Boynton (other books by Sandra Boynton)
• The Mitten by Jan Brett (other books by Jan Brett)
• Guess How Much I Love You
• Jamberry
• So Many Bunnies
• The Snowy Day
• Goodnight Moon
• The Shy Little Kitten
• The Pokey Little Puppy

I was so lucky to have been able to preserve almost all of my books from my childhood. Several of these books are on my book list for the later years but even now...Lily enjoys Amelia Bedelia! I pray that each of my children will have the same love for reading that I had when I was a child.

some of my treasures

Do you have any books I should add?

Broken at His Feet

As I spoke with a dear friend over lunch, we discussed the different stages and times of desire we have after God and His Word. She seemed to be in a place where I myself have walked so many times before. It is a place where God seems so far away. It is the place where you look at yourself and think, “How can I be of God?” As we spoke, I was able to recall the thoughts of those much wiser than I in the faith – in that, when we see how far we are from God, our only choice is to flee to the feet of Christ. It is when we think we are “OK” and “good” that we forget our need for a Savior. (Psalms 51:17)

Through the conversation, I remembered a time not long ago where I, too, was dealing with doubt. I recall spending the morning in His Word and being flooded with the thought, “Do I really believe this?” Because if we truly believed in His Word wouldn’t our lives look much different? Through the course of my reading that morning my heart began to cry out to God – for faith, for understanding. My mind could not comprehend how I am supposed to teach my children about Jesus if I am not sure about Jesus myself. And then I came to the conclusion, even if I spend the rest of my life in doubt and still lead them to Him… all the pain is worth it. Even if in the end I am reprobate but they know Jesus, it is all worth it.

Before I knew it that morning, I was scrambling to change diapers and prepare breakfast. My darling Nate called before I made my way to the table and I found more comfort in pouring my heart out to him. Over tears I told him of my doubts and my issues with faith and my cries out to God. And then God opened my eyes to something more that day… Here I am preparing and caring for my children and my home. There they are at my feet looking up at me. There they are watching me broken at the feet of Jesus. And that is when it dawned on me, when they see my brokenness…they do see what it means to believe in Jesus.

I pray for my dear friend that she sees His Spirit will send her on in perseverance.

"One mark of growth in grace is increased humility. The man whose soul is growing feels his own sinfulness and unworthiness more every year." - J. C. Ryle

A Time of Fasting

I sign in to make an announcement of time away; time away for something very specific. As I sign in, it isn’t long before blog after blog and link after link float onto my screen. I have known for quite sometime now how distracting the instant communication in my life has become. I have pondered shutting it all down for a period of time. And then a fellow blogger gave me the “push” I needed to make that step.

We are a people of busyness and our lives are full of distraction. Have you ever thought about spending your time in prayer and fasting? Fasting has always been fascinating to me. When I was younger, I envisioned myself spending hours in prayer without food or water. Merely a year ago, I envisioned myself alone in a hotel room with nothing but my Bible. I needed a time to clear my head and to see God’s miraculous work in my life. I felt I needed to feel the physical presence of God in my life and I felt my faith needed to increase. After all the time I’ve spent thinking about fasting and prayer, I have never actually had a time of fasting and prayer.

Obviously, being five months with child I cannot endure a physical fasting from food. So, as I think about my life and where my biggest distractions lie, it would be the World Wide Web. From blogs to Facebook to sermons to youtube…two hours has past before I realize. My mind is even distracted when I am away from my computer by the ever-present Blackberry. There is not a moment when I am not “in touch” with all that is going on out there…meaningless or not. As things happen, I wonder in what way should I share this with the world? As if the world really cares what is going on in my life at any particular moment. I believe it can all come back to vanity and pride at times. Sometimes, I have come to wonder if my thoughts are not thoughts but a mere step to the next blog post. I believe sometimes what we put out there stops just short of glorifying God and walks right into lifting up self.

So, today, I lay it all down. I will not sign in or on anywhere out here. My phone notifications are going off and I am unplugging. It may be a week or two and it may be a month. I will spend my time reading, praying, and journaling…with pen and paper. (Gasp!) As oddly as it sounds, this could be hard. I border on OCD and addiction with my phone…oh but to be free from the bondage!

A Very Merry Franklin Christmas

It all started one cold day in December 2003 as Christmas time was wrapping up. As newlyweds, we found ourselves in a debate on Santa Claus and with a credit card balance; the two things we eventually both came to hate. We didn’t know it yet, but we had just participated in our last Christmas. I can’t remember a thing we bought or received that year. What I remembered the most was that conversation and the marvelous way in which it led us.

Our dearest family friend, Jerry, was visiting with us in our condo as he did most nights. And as most nights, our conversation was headed to God’s Word and the superficial nature of our own religion. Jerry, who had put up his Christmas tree in October, was done; he was over it. Apparently, as his merry tree, all beautiful and glittery, sparkled through the past two months, he began to see the idolatry all around him. I’m not sure if he was even aware at that moment of the idolatry we would truly come to see. And then, I hit my other half with, “Well, I don’t think if we have kids we should tell them there is a Santa.” What?! (This would be one of our two greatest debates ever as a couple…the other was on eternal security.) Of course, we went through the whole, “but it’s just for fun.” But, it is a lie. “I believed in Santa and I’m OK.” But, it is a lie.

Over the next few days I would spend hours in front of my computer, reading article after article on the history of Christmas. Nate would come home for work and there I would be with more information about why Christians shouldn’t celebrate Christmas. To think, I was one or two classes away from a minor in religion…from a Christian school, and I missed this. How could that be?

It wouldn’t be long after Christmas that we announced to our family and friends that would be our last year participating in Christmas festivities. We received many reactions. We received anger. We received discussions of persuasion. We received sadness. The one thing we didn’t receive was support over our convictions. Of course, by the time Christmas would roll around the next year, we just learned to close ourselves off and stay away from the things we abhorred so greatly.

Over the years, I would have to say we have softened up quite a bit. We discuss Christian liberty and man’s tradition and how we can make it all work for our family. We still don’t celebrate Christmas. We still can’t find a reason to…each time we try to come up with our own way of doing it we go back to…but it is a lie. Each and everything you believe about Christmas, is a lie. And when is it OK to lie? Santa isn’t real. Jesus is not the reason for the season. In reality, the very thing God hates the most is the reason for the season…idolatry. Are we not desecrating our churches just the way Israel desecrated the temple? Of course, we are not worshipping pagan gods with our pagan trees, but things used to worship pagan gods are in our churches. Each time I read the accounts of Israel in the Old Testament it resounds over and over…we are doing the same thing.

Sometimes, it all boils down to the fact that people feel sorry for our kids. But I see a different picture. I see my two beautiful children sitting at the breakfast table the day before Thanksgiving awaiting their waffles. They are listening to Momma talk about Thanksgiving and as I walk to the table carrying my own plate, I ask Lily, “What are you thankful for Lily?” I am awaiting the for sure answer, “Baby dolls,” or “horses,” or “play-doh.” But no, I hear, “God. And Mommy, JJ is thankful for Jesus.” Don’t feel sorry for my kids, they’re in His hands.

Daughters of Virtue

I see beautiful, amazing, and godly young women all around me. I see the faithfulness of God in the lives of the daughters of friends who have raised them in the admonition of the Lord. I see modest young women, intelligent young women, and women much more prepared than I too be mothers and wives. I think of one such young lady, and I’m inclined to call her a “girl” because of the girls I’m accustomed to seeing in the world are just that…“girls” unprepared for the world. She is but nineteen or twenty and her beauty is amazing. Her inner beauty radiates from the inside out through her smile. Her eyes sparkle and you are drawn to her…because you know she is different. And as time goes on and you know this young lady you realize why she is different. Her father and mother have instilled her with godly principles and ideas of biblical womanhood. She is modest in her dress and speech, her diligence in work can be seen from afar, and her humility is plain.

I cannot help but think of my own self at that age. I think of the friends that walked with me through life and how if they saw me now, they could very much recognize me physically. But with a little time, they would find me not only changed but almost unrecognizable from the girl they once knew. Some could say it was the nature of life and that marriage and children took their natural course in my life. However, if they stay just a little longer, they will see it is so much more. My thinking has changed and my heart is completely new. I have truly become a new creature in Christ. I have been truly born from above. (John 1:13, 2 Corinthians 5:17)

Had I walked the earth during Jesus’ ministry, the Pharisees would have scolded Him for looking at me, speaking to me, and touching me. I would have sat at His feet and known that I was broken and in need of a Physician. I would have felt unworthy of being in His presence. However, with His great love, He would have touched my face and said, “Go, and sin no more.” (John 8, Psalm 99:5)

I can look back on my spiritual transformation and marvel at the work of God in my life. But then I take a step back and realize something about my own daughters. If we, like the parents above, instill in them a biblical worldview and godly principles, how will they ever know their need for Christ? If there is not a time in their lives where they can’t remember not knowing Christ, how will they keep from becoming like the Pharisees? Lord willing, we will in no way neglect our calling to raise our children in the admonition of the Lord. But, if each of my daughters never walk a road with sinners, how will she know that she sits just as unworthily at Jesus’ feet as I?