Losing Michelle

Christians and Birth Control: Did you know?

2012-01-20T16:14:00.001-05:00

While reading about the new federal requirement that will force religious-affliliated medical facilities to provide birth control to their employees by 2013, I couldn't help but think of how many pro-life Christians continue on without the proper knowledge of the possible abortive effects of birth control.

In an effort to continue to inform, I ask, please read this series of posts at Desiring Virtue. After thinking over the news article, I was once again lead to reread her posts. I hope you will take the time to make yourself more aware of the possibilities. I, too, have researched just the way she did to determine the truth behind whether or not birth control pills have possible abortive effects. I believe her series of articles provides sufficient information for the Chrisitan family to think about their use of birth control.

Begin with Part 1. The end of each post will lead you to the next post in the series.

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate. Psalms 127:3-5

Grace Living

2012-01-09T22:18:00.000-05:00

Last week when everyone else was determining their “words” for the year, I was left wondering what one word would I want to lead me through the upcoming year. Thinking perhaps I should just move on and leave behind any yearly resolutions or words, it dawned on me.

At the end of 2011, I began to realize the burden of self-reliance I had been carrying through much of the year. Every corner I turned was about how I could make all the difference. I could make the difference in my home. I could determine my children’s obedience. I could determine their future. I could determine what people thought about my family and me. I became so caught up in the appearance of godliness that I lost the heart of true, Holy Spirit-driven godliness. For the first time ever, I was looking at myself and thinking, “Legalism? Me? Nooo!” The sin of self-righteousness was speaking boldly to my face. I knew what had crept into my heart this year.

So, Sunday I claimed it. Grace. This year is my year of grace. The year where I remember His grace...

Grace in regeneration.

Grace in sanctification,

Grace in parenting.

Grace in relationships.

Grace in communication.

Grace in living.

I want to see grace in what I read, in what I pray, and how I walk. I want to give grace as it was given to me. I want to precede knowing that God receives glory out of ugly, rebellious, disobedience just as much as He receives glory out of lovely, devoted, obedience. I mean, without the ugly how could we really know how much we need Him?

God hasn't left me alone to search for grace but is immediately making grace real in His word and through the story of Joseph. Joseph, betrayed by his own brothers and yet so willing to offer grace to them. Not only grace, but the very best of everything he had. He kissed them and wept over them, the same men who planned his death and took him away from the land he knew. Joseph truly understood God’s sovereignty even through His hardships. He spent years in prison for being wrongfully accused…and yet, he could see God’s purpose in it all. He could see that God glorifying grace is not always lovely and not always what we would choose for ourselves.

“His brothers also came and fell down before him and said, "Behold, we are your servants." But Joseph said to them, "Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones." Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.” Genesis 50: 18-20 (ESV, emphasis added)

2012...a year to remember and grow in grace.

New Plans for the New Year

2011-12-28T16:20:00.000-05:00

The time is upon us for reflections and resolutions. I'll spare you the reflections and move onto some of my own plans for 2012...at least in the world of literature and such.

I was rather surprised with what I was able to finish reading in 2011. Allow me to apologize, make way for a small reflection. Books that I actually finished in 2011 were: (links to these books can be found on my page Books and Stuff)

Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan
Think: The Life of the Mind and The Love of God by John Piper
The Shaping of a Christian Family by Elisabeth Elliot
Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic
Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe by Todd Wilson
The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson

And to add to my reading was much time, although not enough, spent in God's Word and time, probably too much, spent reading numerous blogs and articles. Nate laughed at me when I told him I was going to make a small goal of four books for the upcoming year. I suppose he thinks my goal is a bit puny. I say, at least I know it's doable.

My plan is to finish the book I'm currently reading, Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson. I won this in a book giveaway and will probably be coming back to say more about it. It is definitely making me rethink our methods in parenting and how we view the gospel as a whole in our home.

My three I plan to add to this extensive list of four are:

The Hiding Place by Corrie Tin Boom I've attempted to read several times and just haven't been able to finish.
Charismatic Chaos by John MacArthur This has been on my list for awhile. I have some family that is interested in the charismatic movement and really want to see how he deals with this movement.
And number four is something by Francis Shaeffer. I haven't decided yet. Maybe The Christian Manifesto? or How Should We Then Live?

I also plan on continuing to look through Large Family Logistics. While we are not technically a "large family," I love some of the ideas she shares in the book.

And of course, I can't leave out a Bible Reading Plan. I found the perfect plan that will give me a few minutes after each meal to spend reading from three different sections of the Bible, starting in Genesis, Job, and Matthew. Nate and I thought this would be a good way to read through the Bible in a year to the little ones, too! I also hope to spend more devoted time to studying Proverbs. A few weeks back I started studying Proverbs alongside Matthew Henry's Commentary. I have taken a break but really hope to resume that in depth reading as well on my own.

For the wee ones, I plan to continue Catechisms for Young Children and doing scripture memory. Earlier this month I began using this system for scripture memory. It's still early on using it so we haven't got an excellent feel for how this system will work over time.

And we have finally decided on a reading curriculum! After looking at three different curriculums, we have decided to use Reading Made Easy. I'll keep you updated on my thoughts on this system and how it works as we go along. Reading lessons will be short and simple. We will also continue reading good, twaddle-free books and spending lots of time outside when the weather is just right for exploring!

So, do you have reading plans this year?

You said WHAT to my child?!

2011-12-21T16:00:00.000-05:00

Dear “Girl That May or May Not Still Work at Food City,”

Our encounter last night was a first for me. I was quite taken back by what you said. Those who knew me before will know how He has changed me by how I responded to you. They know what the old me would have done.

I really just grinned and nodded as you kept prodding my children about Christmas. I nodded in assurance to my shy little girl as you kept asking her about Santa and all the wonderful gifts he will be bringing her. See, you don’t know that she has reached the age where she is at the same time in awe and yet, confused about this strange man who Mommy says is not real. You didn’t know she was conflicted on how to answer you. But even though you didn’t know all these things, you shouldn’t have said what you did. When I politely told you we don’t do Santa at our house, you should have said what everyone else does, “Oh, OK.” But you didn’t, you chose to ask my daughter why not. And when she said, “He isn’t real,” you placed yourself in a bad situation with your response. You told my daughter I was a liar. That’s what you said to her when you looked her in the eye and said, “Oh yes he is!”

And that is when I gently placed my hand on her back and walked away.

You see, we serve a King who I believe is sickened by this charade called Santa Claus. Because my King, is the only one who knows who has been bad or ~~good~~… (There is none good, no not one. Romans 3:10) We teach our children it is the righteousness of Another that makes them good before God. This King doesn’t think it is OK to lie. Ever. Even if it is just fun and harmless. He is Holy …always…so do you really think He says, “Ah, they’re just having fun, it's Ok to lie this time.” This King doesn’t like to share His glory with anyone or anything else…probably because nothing could possibly hold a candle to His greatness. So, we serve another God and not the god of Santa Claus and mammon that this holiday is so smothered in.

I would appreciate it, that you not tell my child I’m a liar. I’m teaching her to believe in something much bigger than a make believe character that will one day be nothing to her. I’m teaching her to believe in a Sovereign God, the Maker of all things, and the only One she will ever give thanks to for the many blessings and gifts she receives…the one that doesn’t turn out to be a phony. See, because sometimes our faith can be kind of hard to hold on to, we want her to know that her parents never lied to her and we wouldn’t tell her about something we don’t have one hundred percent faith in.

So, please, leave the parenting up to the parents. And think before you speak.

Thank you,
A Mom Determined to Tell the Truth
I must say, over the past eight years, I’ve softened quiet a bit on my views on Christmas. My husband and I have went from completely ignoring it to attempting to figure out what traditions we want to adopt in our own family during this time of year. We know there is a way to do this that is Christ honoring and we feel rest about Paul’s teachings on Christian freedom. At the same time, much of this holiday makes me angry and confused. I don’t understand how Christians continue to adopt such secular ways of celebration. I pray that there would be a way to reform the holiday…even if it is just one family at a time. I pray that more families would evaluate why they do what they do and see how it is honoring to God. I especially pray this year that people will be spending the Lord’s Day in church because it is a day God has commanded us to observe; Christmas is not; yet, numbers of Christians will remain home and forget the Lord on the one day He has given us to set aside to worship Him.

So, Here is wishing you and yours…a Happy…or a Merry…I don’t know…I think Lily says, “make sure to tell them, ‘Happy Christmas!’”

(Note: I still haven’t brought myself to verbally say, “Merry Christmas” to someone…so that was a little awkward. Give me a break, it's been EIGHT YEARS since I've even considered celebrating the day. It's bound to be awkward!)

Busy Seasons

2011-12-14T16:32:00.001-05:00

Wow. It has been almost two months since I've been here. Life is busy even when you're not busy with the season. I want to write. I just can't take the time. Little hands and little hearts need me more than this space of mine. So, where is my mind?

On the little boy with the black eye and the pink hat...who is now potty trained!

And the little girl who can't get enough of her new doll and makes me smile as I see her reach out her hand to help her Momma every day.

On my dear husband who worked very hard on Saturday to help my effort to tidy and purge our house of unneeded and an unloved stuff. I love my new shelves!

Do these pics really need a caption?

And on flowers picked especially for me on a warm day in December.

My mind has been on how I wish everyone could keep this image in their mind.

My mind has been on sin and "if God hasn’t specifically called something a sin, I shouldn’t." How I can't help but wander if I've crossed this line...

My mind has been on how awesome God is that He brings His flock together to send up prayers from all over for the same family who most of us have never even met.

My mind is a bit all over...even with you at times.

Until next time...whenever that may be.

My Poor Attempt at BLW

2011-10-21T16:48:00.000-04:00

For some reason or another...I found myself intrigued by baby led weaning. It started with my desire to make my own baby food and asking some advice from Kimberly. The more I read about baby led weaning the more I loved the idea and knew this was the way for me.

I navigated the Wholesome Babyfood website and wrote down recipes and ideas about a month prior to when I planned to begin solids. With my other two, I was eager to start solids at 4 months. With the first the eagerness was the fact that every "first" was a momentous occasion I was awaiting. With the second, it was the mere hope that food might make this mad, crazy baby sleep! So, holding off until after 6 months to start my baby on solids was a totally new thing. And so was making my own baby food...that ended up not actually being baby food per se but just table food.. So, yeah! I get to skip making baby food purees! (For that to make sense...read more on BLW.)

As that six month mark passed and the seventh month approached, I decided to adventure out into the world of solids with Anna. And much to my chagrin, BLW and my personality do not mesh well. And Anna refuses to eat solids right now. I attempted on vacation to let her play with a banana. Oh dear...the mess that followed deemed this attempt not appropriate for vacation. I decided to wait until we got home.

At this point, I threw some oats in the blender and cooked them and mashed up some banana for her to try in her high chair. Do you know how hard it is for a perfectionistic, neat freak NOT to use a spoon and to allow the baby to actually make a mess?! This was hard. And she could care less about eating it.

I decided to attempt the spoon with bananas, oatmeal, and avocado. She is not having it. And Anna and I agree...this is what we think about BLW. (Please note...we were coming from the beach. We normally don't travel with our entire house in the van.)

Vacation 2011

2011-10-19T16:07:00.003-04:00

I have finally moved my pictures from our trip to Myrtle Beach over to the computer. Now the question is...how do I choose out of 400 photos which ones to share? And then...after that...what do I do with these 400 photos? What do you do with all your pictures?

Here are a few of my favorites! Enjoy.

Beauty

Looking for Mommy

Not so sure about this.

Curious

She likes the beach!

The cousins have arrived!

Love this picture!

Nana doing what she does best!

Nana and Anna

Sweet Hanna

... And Halli (I'm relying on my four year old to tell me which one is which.)

How I spent my mornings.

My sweet blessings

Please tell me how to get 5 kids 6 and under to all smile at the same time?

Silly J.J.

Our view every morning...

Securing a Quiet Growing Time

2011-09-15T16:23:00.000-04:00

A mother's chief responsibility for the first six years is to secure for her children "Quiet growing time--and free growing time--the freedom of real play (not lessons that look like play) and of ordering one's own life.”

“The games mother and baby play together naturally, without any special training or effort, are exactly what a baby needs to develop properly- at least to age 2.”

"Tommy should be free to do what he likes with his limbs and his mind through all the hours of the day when he is not sitting up nicely at meals. He should run and jump, leap and tumble, lie on his face watching a worm, or on his back watching the bees.... nature will look after him and give him promptings of desire to know many things, and somebody must tell as he wants to know; and to do many things, and somebody should be handy just to put him in the way; and to be many things, naughty and good, and somebody should give direction."

"...Health, strength, and agility, bright eyes, and alert movements, come of a free life, out-of-doors, if it may be, and as for habits, there is no habit or power so useful to man or woman as that of personal initiative. The resourcefulness which will enable a family of children to invent their own games and occupations through the length of a summer's day is worth more in after life than a good deal of knowledge about cubes and hexagons, and this comes, not of continual intervention on the mother's part, but of much masterly inactivity."

All quotes can be found in Charlotte Mason's Home Education, Volume 1.

Boasting Homeschoolers

2011-08-29T08:00:00.003-04:00

Today I met that mom. That homeschooling mom I hope I never come off to be. To be fair though, she wasn’t actually the mom, she was the mom’s “assistant.” Yeah. I know. Anyways. I originally thought the lady was either grandma or just an older mom with still some little ones in the nest.

While waiting for our little ones to finish up a make-up class in gymnastics, we went about small talk as all moms do during this time. Honestly, I started this whole thing. If I could only go back and hit “rewind.” I noticed a girl of about ten doing some copy work beside me. Being that it was ten in the morning, I could only assume that she was homeschooled. The four other children surrounding this lady only reinforced that this family was probably homeschooled. (Isn’t it funny how we fall prey to stereotypes?)

So I asked, “Are you homeschooled?” And here begins the cat and mouse chase. Or could have anyways. This time, I decided, I’m not falling into this battle. I’m going to try to ease right on out. But she wouldn’t stop! Ahhhhh!

"She (insert Mom’s name) does so well with the children.”

“The four year old even writes the whole alphabet.”

“He’s potty-trained and he’s only two.”

“They do so good picking up they’re toys and are such a good help to their mom.”

“Yesterday me and the four-year old went out to pick beans. Because they have a garden you know. She was so excited to help.”

And on. And on. And on. I simply smiled and said, “Really.” And “that’s so good.” Friends…if I ever go on like this to you. Please slap me in the face and tell me to shut up.

Nothing has changed me more from being the competitive person I am than having children. I have even considered unschooling my children just to get away from the hoopla of the pressure placed on us by society. Having children I have learned that each and every child is different in each and every way. They all have strengths and weaknesses that are different from every other child, even the ones in their own home.

Seriously. I get so tired of the “let me one up you” nonsense that goes on between mom’s of young children. Let me preface by saying, I get tremendous support from what I like to refer to as “veteran moms.” They are so encouraging in saying that reading to them right now is enough. Read them good books and take them outside. Teach them good habits and obedience. Worry about the other stuff later…when you have to. Whether your child knows his alphabet at two or five…when they’re seven…it really doesn’t make a difference.

But just around the corner is that mom. You know her. The one who can’t wait to tell you her two-year old can count to 100, is beginning lessons in Latin, and they spend an hour a day doing creative crafts. Oh wait, and they were potty-trained at 18 months. The one who loves to make you feel…not good enough.

So, it is now time for confession, I’m going to let you in on some things. I don’t care that my 2 year old is not potty-trained. I haven’t even attempted it because I don’t want to…I’m tired. And, again, I don’t want to. My near four-year old doesn’t know how to read because I haven’t taught her to and because we spend our days doing other things…like playing and sometimes watching Dora. Gasp! Just the other day I was so impressed that Lily knew about stamps and the post office. How? Team Umizoomi taught her about it. My daughter is so cultured she can sing songs about hot-snot-sundaes and the gaseous affects of beans. And I taught them to her! Much to my chagrin, my kids laugh when they pass any kind of gas…while they’re saying “excuse me” of course. And often the only way I can get my kids to pick up their toys without their father threatening them is to tell them I'm going to suck them up in the vacuum. Actually, now I don't have to tell them that because as soon as they see the vacuum come out...they start scrambling. Even the two-year old.

In conclusion, Moms, stop bragging and competing with each other and start supporting each other. I’m not like you and much of what comes out of my children’s mouths may absolutely shock you…as it does me. Reality is, if I were a fly on the wall in your house, you, too would be embarrassed by what I saw. Be real and…

Blueberry Jam

2011-08-25T09:00:00.003-04:00

Several weeks ago, I posted about our wonderful day picking blueberries. At the bottom of that post was a recipe for blueberry jam topping.

Another recipe I have used to preserve the blueberries was simply blueberry jam. It is very easy! I did change the recipe up a little and used less sugar.

Blueberry Jam

Take 9 cups of crushed (and washed) blueberries and 6 cups of sugar and mix together. I only use about 4 cups of sugar. (You can use a potato masher to crush your blueberries while it heats.)
Heat until all the sugar dissolves and the mixture starts to gel.
Using your funnel pour the jam into your jars.
Place lids on.
Process in a hot water bath for approximately 10 minutes.

And that would be all for this year! Hopefully, you'll get to join me next year when I take a stab at pickles!

Canning Green Beans

2011-08-24T08:31:00.000-04:00

Welcome back to the canning series! For us, this is the biggy. We can more green beans than anything else. And these crazy little beans have given me more anxiety than any other vegetable or fruit that we have preserved. Remember how we use Granny's methods for canning a lot? Well, not one single friend of mine that also does food preservation cans green beans the way we do. So, I must announce a disclaimer. DO.YOUR.RESEARCH.

This is a method of canning that is NOT typically accepted. I had to really think and discuss over this method with my husband. Apparently, there is a bacteria on low acidic vegetables that if not killed at the proper temperature can cause botulism. That's right, botulism. I looked it up to see the symptoms. That did not aid in my anxieties over using this method of canning. The temperature that needs to be reached to kill this little varmint can supposedly only be reached in a pressure canner. (Which, as I mentioned before, I particularly don't care to have around three small children.) My husband and his entire family, however, could take much offense to this. Since they've been doing it this way for years and no one has yet to contract said botulism. After much discussion and angst, we decided it was OK. Besides, this is how my Russian friend did it in Russia and well, for some reason, that gave me assurance.

Again. Make this decision for yourself understanding there are recommendations that it is not safe. (Wow, I can't believe I'm saying that.)

But hey...it's easy after you break your beans! Simply...

Break your beans and cut off bug bites.
Wash them three times to remove any dirt and to catch any missed bug bites.
Pack your jars and add one tsp of salt.
Add hot water leaving about 1/4 inch headspace.
Wipe your lid to ensure no debris will inhibit the sealing of the jar.
Do a hot water bath for 3 to 3.5 hours. (This is why we use the contraption below rather than our stove.)

Now, another reason The Franklin family has not suffered from botulism could be the time we cook the beans before we eat them. My crazy, northern neighbor mentioned boiling her beans for 10 minutes one day and I thought she just told me she flew back from Mars.

Here...is how I do it...and they are oh so yummy good.

The Right Way to Cook Fresh Green Beans

Rinse your beans to remove that old salt.
Place them in a large pot and fill with water.
Add one beef bouillon cube.
Add one heaping spoon of butter.
Add one slice of bacon or a big piece of fat back.
Cook for several hours. (Around five over medium heat.)
Don't forget to add more water or you'll burn the beans!
Before serving, add a little salt to put at the taste of country perfection.

Now, if anyone ever thought I might be healthy... myth...debunked.

(Dark chocolate is high in antioxidants though.)

Disclaimer: AGAIN, I take no responsibility for how you choose to can your green beans should you use this recipe. I am not a professional. Check with those government guys for the health standards.

Canned Jalapenos

2011-08-23T15:47:00.001-04:00

Finally, I make a gradual step back into the canning series. I’m hoping to get these flipped out fast over the next couple of days.

When slicing your jalapenos, be sure to wear gloves. Nate slices ours since I am nursing Anna. He did it barehanded and woke me up at three in the morning complaining of his left arm burning. Silly me thought he was having a heart attack. It wasn’t until the next day he suggested it might be the jalapenos. So, wear gloves if you don’t want your hand to burn.We use pint and half pint jars for our jalapenos but divide a recipe for quarts. (Again, we have a small amount of people actually eating some of this food we’re preserving.)

Recipe for Canned Jalapenos

Mix 2 cups of water and 2 cups of white vinegar on the stove to simmer. Do not boil…just simmer.
Pack your jars with your jalapenos and use a non-metallic spatula to go around the side removing any air-bubbles. (Remember, I'm not sure if I do a good job of this...I mean how do you know you've removed air bubbles?!)
Add a clove of garlic to a pint jar of jalapenos. (For a quart add 2 cloves and for a half pint add 1/2 clove.) Aren't you glad I'm doing the math for you.
Add 1/8 tsp of pickling salt to a pint jar of jalapenos. (For a quart 1/4 tsp for a half pint...I do smaller than a pinch since I don't have a tsp that measures 1/16.)
Once your liquid mixture is simmering, use your funnel to assist you in pouring the mixture into the jar. Fill your jar up leaving 1/4 inch headspace.
PUT ON YOUR LID! (Edited so Tony C doesn't lose his peppers.)
Using a water bath canner or a large pot, place your jars in the boiling water and ensure the tops of the jars are covered by one or two inches of the water.
Once the water begins to boil again after the jars are placed in, process for 15 minutes.
You can safely remove jars with the special jar tongs I showed you in the first post.

Canning Tomatoes: An Alternative

2011-08-19T07:00:00.004-04:00

As I mentioned yesterday in my introduction to food preservation, we can our food a little different then some other folks for various reasons. I apologize that I don’t have a video or any flashy step-by-step photos of how we go about doing this. Canning season makes for a busy season and since I’m already in a busy season with little ones…you get no photos of the actual process.

Let me begin by saying this is the second year we have grown tomatoes and the first we actually preserved them. Last year we realized we had an unusual issue with our tomatoes that caused us to have to remove them from the vine before they are ripe. We now know this condition is referred to as bottom end rot. We hope to remedy this next year by placing a Tums in the dirt when we plant our tomatoes. It is caused by a lack of calcium. Another remedy if you find yourself with this problem is to take your almost empty milk jug, fill it with water, and use that to water your tomato plants.

A few of our roma tomatoes ripening in the window. We use a variety of tomatoes. The big one you see is a German tomato and is wonderful on sandwiches and biscuits!

Even though we were struck by bottom end rot again, we were able to allow our tomatoes to ripen in the window and still preserve some of them.

An Alternative Way to Can Tomatoes

Wash your tomatoes.
Using a large pot, begin to boil water. (I use a large pasta pot with the strainer in it.)
Use a sharp knife to “core” your tomatoes. Remove the stem and any “green core.” Granny says this will ruin your tomatoes if you don’t remove the “green.” She doesn’t know why; that’s just what her mother told her. Make an “X” with your knife on the bottom (blossom end) of the tomato.
Fill your clean sink with cold ice water.
Once all your tomatoes are cored and ready, dip them in the boiling water for about 30 seconds.
Now move them to the cold water. If you used a large pasta pot, simply remove your strainer and dump them in the sink.
Your tomato skins will now easily pull away from the tomatoes.
After your tomatoes are peeled, cut your tomatoes in half to make sure you have removed the core. Be sure not to confuse the green core with the “meaty” white part of your tomato, aka, the flesh. (Nate kept doing that and was throwing half the tomato away!) The core, if there is one, will be a teeny, tiny speck of green.
Cut your tomatoes into small pieces in a large pot. Granny taught me how to take my hands and squish them up even more once you are ready to cook them. (I find it therapeutic for some odd reason.)
Now you are ready to “cook your tomatoes down.” Place your tomatoes on the stove and cook them over medium heat. You can cover them, but be sure to vent them so they don’t collect too much extra water.
The amount of time you cook your tomatoes will vary depending on the amount of tomatoes you have. Granny says, “Cook them HOT, until they fall all to pieces.” I have found that for a larger amount of tomatoes I will cook them for about 45 minutes to an hour. If it is around one quart or a pint, 30 minutes is usually sufficient.
Once your tomatoes have “cooked all to pieces,” place them in the jar you wish to preserve them in with 1 tsp of salt per quart. (1/2 tsp per pint)
Wipe the outer rip of your jar to be sure no debris will interfere with the sealing of the jar.
Place your lid on and tighten using your band.
Set your jar aside and within an unspecified amount of time you will hear the jar seal from the heat of the cooked tomatoes.

The end result...with our jalapenos. The next recipe to be posted in this series!

Note: You cook your tomatoes “really hot” to kill any bacteria and to seal your jar. We realize this is not the conventional way of canning tomatoes; this is just the way we choose to do it. It works fine for us and we have delicious tomatoes!

Being the small family we are, we can them when they are ready, sometimes only canning a pint or a half pint. We think this will be beneficial to add to soups and chili in the winter. This also helps us from being overwhelmed by all those stinkin’ tomatoes trickling in one at a time!

The Lost Art of Food Preservation

2011-08-18T07:32:00.000-04:00

For the entertainment of my old, (literally speaking), friend Tony C, for informative reasons to those beginning this process like me, and for a mere journaling of my experience, I thought it worthy to share what I have learned during my first year canning. This is something I would have never imagined myself doing…just like having three children in three and a half years. I would have laughed with Tony C at the mere suggestion. However, times and people change and here we are with canned jalapenos, blueberry jam, tomatoes, and green beans from our very own garden. (Well, not the blueberries, they came from Rabbit Eye Orchard.)

Later in this series of posts, I will share the specific ways I go about canning the above mentioned. But today, I would like to share just some basic information about how we, The Franklins, go about canning. Much of my canning know-how came from this lady…

Also know as Granny Ann. Granny Ann has been doing this more decades than I’ve been alive. She does things a little different; but, it works and for us we’ll feel it is the safest option. (More on that later.)

Here are some tools we use in canning:

Pickling Salt (aka, just PLAIN salt)
Magnetic lid “grabber”
Jar Tongs
Spatula and headspace measurer
Funnel

This is how we do most of our canning.

By using this method, we save a bit of money on the power it would take to complete this process on the stove and the amount of heat it would produce in already smoldering weather. And again, this is the way Granny does it. Papaw Maney actually use to can over an open fire. Imagine that. I should add that many things can be canned just using a large pot on your stove. We’ve used that method on jalapenos. The first time because we didn’t have our water bath canner and the last time because we ran out of gas! This method worked fine.

Before starting on the specific foods we preserved, here are some helpful hints that I learned this summer. Jars and bands can be reused. Flats, or lids, cannot. Each year you will need new ones to ensure your jars seal properly. I throw my lids in a pot of water on the stove to heat them while I prepare the food. I place my jars on the stove over my warmer to warm them so there will be no shock from going from cold to really hot during the processing of the food. Another way to do this is place them in the oven on a low setting. This would be ideal if you were using a lot of jars. I believe around 150 degrees is recommended. (Honestly, I haven’t taken that much precaution in warming the jars and have been fine. I’m assuming this could cause your jar to break in certain conditions.) Although I don’t know why, you’re supposed to get “air bubbles” out of the jar. I’m still not sure I do this sufficiently?? It would help if I knew why I was supposed to do this.

This leads me to “safety” issues. First, if you choose to can on your stove and it is a glass top be careful. Nana has a friend whose stovetop was broken due to the weight of canning on it. I also know of ladies who have never had a problem. Just a warning in case you don’t know. I personally err on the side of caution and choose not to can several quarts on the glass stovetop. Second, we choose not to use a pressure canner. Accidents are a huge possibility when using a pressure cooker for canning. Granny says Geneva got her hand almost clear cut off and Betty was picking beans out of her curtains months later after a jar exploded. Granny said she stopped using a pressure canner when that happened to Geneva. I did have some reservations about this at first. Especially since all my friends were using pressure canning; however, after much thought we decided what we were doing was safe and fine. I’ll go into more of those reservations when I get to how we can our green beans.

So, all that being said…I look forward to inviting you into my kitchen. Join me tomorrow when I talk about an easy option to preserve tomatoes.

Missions Not Accomplished

2011-08-15T14:27:00.000-04:00

I can remember a time when I thrived in the midst of completed projects. Whatever it may be…the attainment of my black belt, crossing the finish line of a 5K, or any such goal I may have set out to accomplish in this small life of mine.

The thought of a completed project now sends my domesticated, maternal, wifely-self into fits of laughter…psychotic fits of laughter. Going from goal driven professional to following my calling as “mother” definitely has had dramatic impact on my mental state at times. As all mommies know, the vicious cycle of laundry, meal preparation, dishes, diapers, potty breaks, discipline, naptimes, nursing, doctor’s appointments, play dates, reading time, animal care, ironing, grocery shopping, picking up toys, intervening in sibling rivalry, and list making can be…well… a bit unending. (And not to forget the fact that it’s canning season!) Completion is not a relevant term in my mind any more, as is evidenced by my reading habits.

It has been nearly four months since I have completed a book. Once a voracious reader, I took in books and devoured them in days with excitement. Not to say that I haven’t read a book in four months. Maybe five months? Prior to my youngest peanut being born, I had just finished Crazy Love by Francis Chan and John Piper’s Think and was ready for more good theological brain food. I started out with Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges. I was halfway through when 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp arrived in the mail. Being the emotionally driven pregnant lady I was at the time, I stopped all other reading and rushed to the couch from the mail box to devour…the first three or four chapters. Providentially, for whatever reason, I didn’t finish and haven’t even attempted to go back. AFTER, Anna was born I decided to attempt to pick up some more reading. Since that decision was made you will find a constant array of books strewn around my home…unfinished. I begin to read D. Martyn Lloyd Jones’ Spiritual Depression after borrowing it from a friend. Unfinished. I started re-reading Pink’s The Attributes of God. Unfinished. On my end table lies And Then I Had Kids: Encouragement for Mothers of Young Children by Susan Yates. Unfinished. And as of last week I started reading Sonya Shaffer’s Laying Down the Rails, A Charlotte Mason Habits Handbook. I even started reading A Quest for Godliness by J.I. Packer and guess what? Right. Unfinished. Not to mention the book I received in the mail today from the Grateful for Grace giveaway…I couldn’t help but read the first two chapters in anticipation. (The book giveaway was Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe by Todd Wilson. It looks applicable to my own life and I haven't even started homeschooling yet!) Somewhere in all that mess I DID finish Rachel Jankovic’s Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches…but it was almost like a series of blog posts so does that really count?

My Bible reading…much the same. I try to read some Proverbs and Psalms each day. It’s the only reading in the Bible that makes sense when read in bite size amounts and it seems bits and pieces of anything is all I can handle at one time. I did start to read through the New Testament and made it to Matthew 8 or 9. I also started in Jeremiah and made it to chapter 5.

But today…Nate announced he wanted to read through the Bible in 180 days. And eagerly my soul screamed, “Here is my chance! Here is my chance to finish something! Hooray! Hoo-rah!”

I simply want to finish a book that isn’t written by Dr. Seuss and doesn’t have pictures. And isn't the Bible the very best choice?!

And so begins my adventure…I’m glad I have hubby to tag along.

Still doubting...

2011-08-12T15:05:00.001-04:00

Lately, I find myself feeling as if those chains are still tied around my feet binding me to laws and illuminating my sin. Where is my freedom? It seems that if I could find this freedom then I could find that joy that I was looking for awhile back as well. My mind races with overwhelming thoughts of my insufficiencies and I return to bondage and do not cling to the grace that has been offered.

I quickly forget that the lives of my children are in His hands and that He has a purpose for them. He has an eternal purpose that will take place despite my best efforts and daily mess-ups. Each night I lay down assuring myself tomorrow will be different…tomorrow I will take on the day differently. I will not put so much confidence in my own labors but I will have contentment in the working out of His will in our lives.

How do I live the gospel message before them when I wake up each day putting trust in myself? I’m like the disciples that walked with Jesus, “O ye of little faith.” Incredulous. Skeptical. Unbelieving. Unconvinced. Am I truly unconvinced of the grace that is offered to me? The grace that covers such a thing as my forgiveness all the way down to the grace that says He will provide me with protection from the storms?

“The good Shepherd has tender care for children that are towardly and hopeful, for young converts, that are setting out in the way to heaven, for weak believers, and those that are of a sorrowful spirit. These are the lambs of his flock, that shall be sure to want nothing that their case requires. He will gather them in the arms of his power; his strength shall be made perfect in their weakness, 2 Co 12:9. He will gather them in when they wander, gather them up when they fall, gather them together when they are dispersed, and gather them home to himself at last; and all this with his own arm, out of which none shall be able to pluck them, John 10:28. He will carry them in the bosom of his love and cherish them there. When they tire or are weary, are sick and faint, when they meet with foul ways, he will carry them on, and take care they are not left behind. He will gently lead them. By his word he requires no more service, and by his providence he inflicts no more trouble, than he will fit them for; for he considers their frame.” Matthew Henry on Isaiah 40:11

Do I dare say that often I don’t feel Him gently leading me? I don’t feel the comfort of His bosom and I don’t feel cherished…

I still long for His presence…each day I come to Him in prayer pleading for His presence to be in this home. Each day I know that just because I don’t feel Him doesn’t mean He is not here. So here I go, unconvinced, sometimes skeptical, yet still praying in the name of the only One who can bring me into the presence of God. Praying for my faith to increase and repenting for when it lacks.

Sweet Anna

2011-08-04T23:13:00.000-04:00

It has officially been four months since sweet Anna came into our lives. I thought you were deserving of an update.

Anna is wonderful. She just goes with the flow and deals with what is handed to her.

The other two, however, seem to have a problem with sharing.

For those of you who don't understand such talk as that of a toddler and a preschooler, it goes something like this...

Dat my sissy.
No dat my sissy.
No. I'm your sissy and dat my sissy.
No dat my sissy.

Get the gist?

Pink on The Foreknowledge of God

2011-08-03T08:00:00.001-04:00

When the solemn and blessed subject of Divine foreordination is expounded, when God’s eternal choice of certain ones to be conformed to the image of His Son is set forth, the Enemy sends along some man to argue that election is based upon the foreknowledge of God, and this "foreknowledge" is interpreted to mean that God foresaw certain ones would be more pliable than others, that they would respond more readily to the strivings of the Spirit, and that because God knew they would believe, He, accordingly, predestinated them unto salvation. But such a statement is radically wrong. It repudiates the truth of total depravity, for it argues that there is something good in some men. It takes away the independency of God, for it makes His decrees rest upon what He discovers in the creature. It completely turns things upside down, for in saying God foresaw certain sinners would believe in Christ, and that because of this, He predestinated them unto salvation, is the very reverse of the truth. Scripture affirms that God, in His high sovereignty, singled out certain ones to be recipients of His distinguishing favors (Acts 13:48), and therefore He determined to bestow upon them the gift of faith. False theology makes God’s foreknowledge of our believing the cause of His election to salvation; whereas, God’s election is the cause, and our believing in Christ is the effect.

From A.W. Pink's The Attributes of God (emphasis added)

Pink on The Decrees of God

2011-08-01T14:37:00.001-04:00

I'm going through my second reading of The Attributes of God by A.W. Pink. I find I actually absorb the things I read the second time I read them.

The entire book is a treasure with so many wonderful thoughts on God and who He is. I'm going to share just a few quotes that really set in with me as I was/am re-reading...

The decrees of God relate to all future things without exception: whatever is done in time, was foreordained before time began. God’s purpose was concerned with everything, whether great or small, whether good or evil, although with reference to the latter we must be careful to state that while God is the Orderer and Controller of sin, He is not the Author of it in the same way that He is the Author of good. Sin could not proceed from a holy God by positive and direct creation, but only by decretive
permission and negative action. God’s decree is as comprehensive as His government, extending to all creatures and all events. It was concerned about our life and death; about our state in time, and our state in eternity. As God works all things after the counsel of His own will, we learn from His works what His counsel is (was), as we judge of an architect’s plan by inspecting the building which was erected under
his directions.

God did not merely decree to make man, place him upon the earth, and then leave him to his own uncontrolled guidance; instead, He fixed all the circumstances in the lot of individuals, and all the particulars which will comprise the history of the human race from its commencement to its close. He did not merely decree that general laws should be established for the government of the world, but He settled the application of those laws to all particular cases. Our days are numbered, and so are the hairs of our heads. We may learn what is the extent of the Divine decrees from the dispensations of providence, in which they are executed. The care of Providence reaches to the most insignificant creatures, and the most minute events—the death of a sparrow, and the fall of a hair. A.W. Pink

Our friend, Joe

2011-07-27T15:32:00.000-04:00

As another day moves on in our lives, a very dear friend has moved on into his eternal resting place.

My heart aches as I come to terms with the death of this dear friend. I'm not often personally reminded of the brevity of life. As my heart aches, my heart also rejoices at the fond memories of his smile. The smile he would hand out when speaking of his late wife. And the smile he handed out at the arrival of each of our sweet babies. We looked forward to summer time when we would be drawn over to his porch in the late evenings for a chat, a cookie, and an occassional water gun fight with the little ones. His name and that of his dog, "Eli", were a two of the chosen first words out of our babies' mouths.

Lily serves Joe some "tea"

As I'm at a loss for the right words for his sweet family...I remember Trisha recently let me know that sometimes silence is the best thing because grieving hearts may not be comforted by the "buts" and the "words" I may have to share.

We will so very much miss our dear friend, Joe.

The Duties of Marriage

2011-07-18T21:02:00.001-04:00

A quote by Puritan Richard Baxter from A Christian Directory, cited by J.I. Packer in A Quest for Godliness: The Puritan Vision of the Christian Life.

“I pray you, next tell me my duty to my wife and hers to me.

The common duty of husband and wife is,

1. Entirely to love each other; and therefore choose one that is truly lovely…; and avoid all things that tend to quench your love.

2. To dwell together, and enjoy each other, and faithfully join as helpers in the education of their children, the government of the family, and the management of their worldly business.

3. Especially to be helpers of each other’s salvation: to stir up each other to faith, love, and obedience, and good works: to warn and help each other against sin, and all temptations; to join in God’s worship in the family, and in private: to prepare each other for the approach of death, and comfort each other in the hopes of life eternal.

4. To avoid all dissensions, and to bear with those infirmities in each other which you cannot cure: to assuage, and not provoke, unruly passions; and, in lawful things, to please each other.

5. To keep conjugal chastity and fidelity, and to avoid all unseemly and immodest carriage [conduct] with another, which may stir up jealousy; and yet to avoid all jealousy which is unjust.

6. To help one another to bear their burdens (and not by impatience to make them greater). In poverty, crosses, sickness, dangers, to comfort and support each other. And to be delightful companions in holy love, and heavenly hopes and duties, when all other outward comforts fail.”

A special Happy Anniversary to my sister and brother-in-law on their five year anniversary!

And a happy birthday to my own beloved…

God's Blessings and Blueberries

2011-07-16T17:25:00.000-04:00

I always find myself in awe when I see God's answer to specific prayers. Even the simple ones where we just call out and acknowledge His control over all circumstances. Like blueberry picking in July…July…in Tennessee.

As the little ones and I headed to the next county over for a day of blueberry picking, the rain beat against the windshield. I shout back to the kids, “We’re just gonna have to pray to God that He’ll stop this rain!” And He gave us even better. He gave us 66-degree temperatures and an occasional sprinkling shower to make it an experience we can treasure. And this momma made sure to praise God for such a perfect day under His sun...or clouds!

Sweet Aunt Vicky lending Momma help!

We enjoyed those blueberries this morning with some blueberry jam topping.

Blueberry Jam Topping

4 cups of blueberries

2 tbs of cornstarch

1 cup of water

½ cup of sugar

Mix water, cornstarch, and sugar in saucepan and stir until smooth. Pour in blueberries and bring to a boil. Cook and stir for 2 minutes, or until mixture thickens.

You can “can” the topping by processing the mixture in and with the proper canning equipment in a hot water bath for ten minutes.

No...you may not date our daughter.

2011-07-13T16:01:00.002-04:00

This post was inspired by a recent post at Raising Arrows…because my creative brain is not being inspired on it’s own these days…

When my oldest child is two months from the age of four do I have the right to share my opinion on dating? I say yes, simply because…I have a child, three actually, that will one day cross this road. As everything else in my heart, my view on dating has changed over the years. God has a way of doing that you know. I also feel I can share my opinion because I was in the dating world for close to ten years before getting married and was smothered in the “boyfriend-girlfriend” way of life from a very early age.

The actual idea of courtship is very new to both Nate and me. We are still learning the basic idea and have a better understanding of why the traditional role of dating is not what we want for our children than why so-called courtship is the answer. I pray that we both grow on this issue as our children’s need for our guidance on this issue grows.

That being said, allow me to share with you a story that is rather eye opening from Voddie Baucham’s What He Must Be...if he wants to marry my daughter. I will attempt a paraphrase so as not to be too lengthy.

Jack sits by the fire with all the pieces of his gun cleaning kit lined up. Tonight, cleaning his gun has a dual purpose. One to clean his gun, two to scare the lights out of the sixteen year old about to arrive at his front door. Jack has been waiting for this day since the day he brought her home. He knew the day would arrive when the young men would come. At 6:59 the doorbell rang and Scott was at the front door. After a handshake, Scott enters. Jack sat down, picked up his two-tone Kimber Custom .45 caliber semiautomatic pistol, and proceeded to field-strip and clean the weapon. He asked Scott, “Do you have any idea how much she means to me?” Scott could only manage a nod. “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. Do you remember what time I told you to have her back?” “Yes sir, 11:30. Don’t worry, sir. I’ll take good care of her and get her back long before that.”

Jack stood up, walked up stairs, and disappeared. Moments later he reappeared. This was the moment Jack had waited for. He could barely contain himself. Resolved he had done everything he could do to impress upon this young man the importance of taking great care and showing the utmost respect for his baby, Jack turned around, reached into his pocket, and handed the young man keys to his brand-new 6.5 liter, 12 cylinder All Wheel Drive, $354,000 Lamborghini Mucielago. “I want her back without as much as a scratch.”

Now, the point Bauchman is making? No man in his right mind would hand over the keys of this machine to a 16 year old young man? But Bauchman asks, is this car more valuable than a daughter? How many fathers are trusting their daughters with a young man that he would not trust with this same car?

This is where we have decided to prepare our children a little differently than the current culture. Lily and Anna’s father has set to mind to protect his precious treasures and not follow the same path that is typically taken. He supports Bauchman in his belief that “modern dating is no more than glorified divorce.”

We believe the decisions, words, and even thoughts we have now impact our young daughters and son. The different path we are choosing supports our daughters being modest in dress even at an early age. We encourage modesty in action. We have begun to encourage our son to always place women first, even his sister and especially his mother. We discourage the idea of “boyfriends” and “girlfriends.” I reinforce that Lily belongs to her father and he is her protector. We pray for our children’s purity and sometimes even for their spouses. (I’ve got two in particular I’ve been eyeballing but I’ll keep that to myself.)

In the future, we hope to encourage platonic interactions with the opposite sex that builds friendships and not intimate relationships. We pray that by God’s grace we can lead our children on a path that intimacy will not play a role in their lives until they are given over to their future mates.

With God’s grace and will working in our lives, we pray we walk against the grain and give our children and their future spouses the purity that is a rare jewel today. And we pray that, unlike us, the first person they are emotionally and physically given to…will be his and her last.

A Guest in Becky's Kitchen

2011-07-05T09:37:00.000-04:00

Want a yummy breakfast idea? I received this one from my dear friend, Lesli, and I've made at least one batch each week since she shared it with me. Becky is featuring the recipe at her beautiful blog today! Enjoy!

Breakfast Muffins featured at

Bubbles and Funnels

2011-06-24T14:44:00.000-04:00

What easy fun for the early years! When Lily found my funnel on the counter this morning and wanted to know what it was for, we ventured outside to practice our pouring skills! We had a big bowl of water, different size bottles, and two measuring cups. Fun around here comes cheap!

I need 32,000 soldiers...(repost)

2011-06-17T10:14:00.000-04:00

I decided to share a few old posts...to keep you coming while I'm "gone." Originally posted on June 14, 2010.

Have you ever wondered why you just can’t get it all together? I mean, why are there always more things to check off the to-do list? The house is never clean enough. The lawn always needs mowed. There is that other load of laundry that needs to be washed and for that matter, all the laundry needs to be put away. Nate’s clothes need to be pressed on Fridays. I need to run, too. And more importantly, am I in the Word enough? Have I prayed with the children today? Am I being consistent with the discipleship they need? Oh wait, I was reminded today that my child’s behavior might be a reflection of my behavior. Am I respecting and submitting to my husband the way I should to be an example for them?

I have this vision of the “Perfect Mom.” You know, the one whose home is immaculate with a side of fresh chicken salad and fresh baked bread for company that might pop in. The one who just baked extra food for Sister So-and-So because she is having a rough time with this pregnancy. It is a vision of the mother whose children follow like ducklings at the very sound of her soft, gentle voice. It is the one who knows when her neighbor is in need and is there to provide whatever she can to be a witness for His kingdom. I think it’s the vision of the woman found in Proverbs 31. I’m pretty sure that’s her. Have you seen her, too?

As I have this vision I’m reminded of Gideon and the Midianites. Gideon was prepared and ready for war with his 32, 000 soldiers; but God said, “No.” God said that was too many people. Why? “…lest Israel claim glory for itself against Me, saying, ‘My own hand has saved me.’” God weeded them out, all the way down to 300. That’s a big difference there, Gideon.

And that is when the light shines through. I’m just beginning this journey of true biblical womanhood. If God allowed me to be “perfect” without tribulation, affliction, and trials, it would be so easy for the root of pride to neglect God’s grace and to take the credit and glory for what “I” have accomplished. I remember when I was pregnant with Lily and I professed to my family my desire for four children. My mother commented that I would never have four children because I couldn’t handle it. My sinful pride thought, “Well, I’ll show her.” At the time, my desire for four children was more so I could have a big kitchen table. God, however, changed that desire from four children around a kitchen table to a desire to create an army for Him. And you know what else He changed? I realized my mother was right! I can’t handle it by myself. But praise God that through Him and by Him I can! I may not be the “perfect” mom, but by His grace I will fold each sock, dry each dish, kiss each boo-boo, and hug my husband for His glory and His glory alone.

“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

How I miss thee...

2011-06-07T15:44:00.000-04:00

I just logged into blogger for the first time in... in...who knows how long. I have nothing to say except...I MISS YOU! I don't have time to write and very little time to read...and for sure no time to comment if I do read. I see all these wonderful posts by you wonderful friends in Him and I just want to read, read, read, read! But...I'm busy doing this... and this...and all those other things mommies do.

I really do love and miss you!

You don't have milk!

2011-05-23T15:38:00.000-04:00

OK. I admit I struggled with putting this video out here. After reading Grateful for Grace's post today, I couldn't help but once again be tempted to share my all time favorite video caught on my smartphone. It was taken a little over a year ago. I've been tempted often but have resisted the temptation. After getting an OK from Nate and a watch and approval from my personal friend, Tony C, I decided I would let you in on the cute little laugh, too. (Please excuse my accent. The video makes it worse. I'm really not that country.)

WARNING: Should you be one of the many people who are appalled by mothers who nurse in public and/or speak of nursing in public...do not watch this video. You will not like it. Yes, I know someone...an adult female...who was disturbed by this video.

The Wrong Urgencies

2011-05-20T08:19:00.001-04:00

At 3:00 A.M. as I crawled back into bed, I wondered if J.J. had started having nightmares. It reminded me of my own recent nightmares. Merely the night before I had one. As I lay in bed, I could feel myself becoming fearful once again as I remembered the dark figure from the night before. The tall, dark image. I can feel the evil presence that surrounded this image even as I recalled it in my mind. It was there standing in the children’s room with it’s back towards me. It moved side to side as if it was working on something. The image had a feminine aura to me. These dreams they haunt me through the night. They always leave me with such fear. And last night was no different as I recalled the dream.

So, I began to pray. I prayed God’s Words. I prayed, “I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” I prayed for J.J. that he, too, would feel safe. “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.” (Psalm 4:8 ESV) As I went on in prayer, my heart was burdened with all the idols in my life. So many idols. Was the dark image a portrayal of my idols? My idols being erected and working in my children’s room?

All the things that come before my God… my home, my children, the computer, Facebook, blogging…the list goes on. All of these things that I hold onto that are not eternal. All of these things I take hold of as if they are what was important and not the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Each day I focus on the finite and not the Infinite. I live like everything is so urgent. Yet, the one thing in life that is urgent I neglect.

I have family and loved ones who are living in their sin and rebellion against God. I have family and loved ones believing lies. Yet, I remain selfish, not wanting to cause myself any type of discomfort in sharing the Gospel. I don’t love them enough to tell them daily that they are dead and in need of a Savior. I don’t love them enough to tell them until it is my last breath how urgent it is they repent and believe. Instead, I go on…and serve my idols.

This morning I repented of my idols. I can only pray and place my hope in Him.

Love. Again.

2011-05-18T13:48:00.000-04:00

It just so happens the very day I had a discussion with a dear friend about the progressive church's view on love and the neglecting of the commandments of God, Kimberly at Raising Olives posted on the very thing. That in turn, prompted me to repost a post I did on love a while back. I'm just copying the post. You can visit the orignal post to see a little discussion over the topic.

Repost from 12/29/2009

This post was prompted by some responses on my Righteous Judgment entry. Throughout the past few years, I have heard it said a lot. “Judge not, lest ye be judged” and “love your neighbor as yourself.” All of this is scriptural and can be found in Matthew 7:1 and Matthew 22:39. I do not deny what the scripture states. I do, however, believe these scriptures have been misunderstood.

For example, if you continue on in Matthew chapter 7, you will see that once you remove the plank from your own eye, you will see more clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. It never states the speck should not be removed but that we should see clearly ourselves before addressing the issue at hand. Too often scripture is misread to mean we should never judge and as I said in my last post, there is a righteous judgment.

Usually in response to words such as these, we get hit with the “love your neighbor as yourself.” I guess my question is this, what exactly does love mean? Most people believe we should “agree to disagree” when it comes to issues of doctrine. Jesus is portrayed as a peace-loving hippy. Does this image contradict what Jesus said in Matthew 10:34-36 when He said, “Do not think I came to bring peace on earth, I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.” Is this the same Jesus that threw up tables in the synagogue with His wrath and spoke “woe to the Pharisees and scribes,” calling them hypocrites and fools? Would Jesus’ actions be considered loving today?

“These people draw near to Me with their mouth,
And honor Me with their lips,
But their heart is far from Me.
And in vain they worship me,
Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.” Matthew 7:8-9

Loving on today’s terms means letting your neighbor believe what he/she chooses and accepting there is no definitive truth. If your neighbor is walking into death, do you love them by warning them of the danger or do you let them go their own way to not offend them?

As a loving sister in Christ, I believe that it is important for the body of Christ to be unified. I believe if I see a brother or sister wavering or going down a road that does not seem to be The Way, it is loving if I use God’s Word to speak to them. I, too, will accept this discussion if I am the one that appears to be on the wrong path. Jesus tells us “many false prophets will rise up and deceive many.” In a culture where Christianity is easy, I believe it is pertinent that we test all things against scripture. There is only One Truth and until we find it we should be ever seeking. I understand that all people believe their way is lead by the Holy Spirit, but we should always test it against scripture. There are deceiving spirits and how do we know we have not been taken captive?

I have prayed continuously that if I am being blinded that God will allow me to see. It’s not a matter of being right or wrong, it’s a matter of ensuring we are serving the One True God. By becoming complacent with the god we believe in, we just may be serving an idol in our head instead of the God of the Bible. Will it be the complacent that in the end the Lord will declare to, “I never knew you, depart from me, you who practice lawlessness.” In His name, these same folks prophesied, cast out demons, and did many wonders. (Matthew 7:22-23)

If we believe someone is following a false doctrine, it is not loving to let them be led astray. “Beware of false prophets who come in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.” Jesus spoke these words and on more than this one occasion warned us of the dangers. Paul was dedicated to warning fellow believers about false doctrines and to not be carried away as children “tossed to and fro and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men…” (Ephesians 4:14)

Paul told Timothy, “Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all long-suffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears they will heap up for themselves teachers and they will turn their ears away from truth, and be turned aside to fables.” (2 Timothy 4:2-5)

I just cannot grasp how we love our neighbor by turning our backs when the wolves may be carrying them away. And I’m saying this to you, too. If you think I am being led astray, then get your Bible out and show me who God is; because that is the most important thing, to serve the One True God. I can have faith in anything, but if I don’t have faith in the true God, I have nothing.

Are We Making Fat Souls?

2011-05-12T14:25:00.002-04:00

As I walk into the house after lunch, I see the madness around me. It doesn’t take long with even a mere family of five for the order to start slipping away. (And it doesn’t matter how small the members of the family are.) But this morning we skipped chore time and spent our time at a local nature park with friends.

As I begin to straighten up the living room while the little ones play on the front porch, I am reminded of a recent post from a fellow blogger where she remembers the time when her goal was to at least maintain one room at a time. I decide today that is a good idea and try to clear the small amount of clutter around me. As I finish, I hear the baby stir and go to answer her call.

As I sit down to nurse her, JJ decides to reach for a book off the bookshelf…the middle book…out of a stack of books. Despite my efforts to verbally coach him on how to get it down…this happens.

I tell him it’s OK and I’ll help him clean it up in a minute. I reach for my smartphone to see what the rest of the world is up to and read Amy’s Homeschooling with a Purpose post for today.

As I’m reading I do what she says and I look around and what do I see? A very messy kitchen, a pile of books on the floor, and two little ones each pretending to read a book. All this while nursing this sweet little baby. And I get it for a moment… “If you spend your day striving for a home that looks devoid of family life, you will quickly find yourself devoid of family life.” ~ Amy

This is part of the lessons I’ve been learning lately. My home could be clean right now…but my children would not have been able to spend the morning enjoying the beauty of God’s creation with the fellowship of dear friends.

While I definitely believe order has it’s place, sometimes it’s better to just live and let go because… “Fat souls are better than clean floors.” (Rachel Jankovic)

“Seeking order in your home should never be about appearances because the Lord looks on the heart of your home and cares nothing for your tidy facade.” ~ Raising Arrows

Looking for Commitment

2011-05-09T14:51:00.001-04:00

As summer nears and I recover from child birth, my mind weighs with what I should be doing…but can’t quite find the motivation. Last year at this time, I was preparing for the CASA 8K and my Saturday mornings were spent on the road. Now, I spend my Saturday mornings sleeping in and most days are spent guzzling and engorging sugar and caffeine.

I will say nothing touching, funny, or even very interesting. This is my attempt to put it out there. I gained a lot of weight with Ms. Anna. I’ve lost thirty and have around twenty more pounds to go. I want to be healthy…I just can’t find the motivation.

I need to be held accountable. I need to be pushed. I need a deadline. Who is willing to help me? Whether you are or not…

I will make a commitment today…no more sodas or sweet tea and no more sweets…until I get control! That is hard to say for me because honestly, I don’t want to do it.

The Sweeter Side of Life

2011-05-04T08:00:00.002-04:00

Dear Friends,

I must let you know…it’s not always this bad. Since I was a small child, I have followed the same pattern. When I am sad, I write. When I am mad, I write. My journals are quite depressing. It is how I release my emotions.

The truth is this.... I have an amazingly helpful and supportive husband and three beautiful children. I serve an amazing God who has providentially placed amazing people in my life. So amazing that they made this walk a lot easier than the previous one. Many of you that have emailed me and messaged me only know me through the blog…you don’t see my silly antics and pictures on facebook. You don’t get to see me pushing my kids in swings and taking picnics and going fishing. You don’t get to see me when I do enjoy life…because then I’m too busy enjoying it and I don’t want to stop and write. I’ve received enough concerned response…I felt like I should let everyone know some things.

The truth is the first two or three weeks after I had my precious Anna, I didn’t cook a dinner because my sisters in Christ provided them for me. The truth is those same sisters have allowed me to borrow or offered their daughters to come allow me to rest. The support has been incredible and I praise God for His provision through them.

But, my previous two personal posts are still a reality. Hormonal things happen to many of us in varying degrees. I do have days when I am sad…but I also have very enjoyable days. Postpartum blues are a very strange thing to me. It is overwhelming at times when my little angel nurses that I am overtaken with sadness, tiredness, and nausea all at the same time. But praise God again! I have a dear friend that experiences the same thing and we can support each other.

I also believe it is a reality that having a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and a newborn…is HARD! And top that with postpartum blues and there is surely going to be tears. Wait, take away the postpartum blues and there is going to be tears! Especially, when there is intentional parenting involved.

So, friends, those who know me personally and those who don’t, thank you so much for your prayers and please keep praying…I need them. I’m sure many of your prayers were God’s means to make my days enjoyable.

Much love to you today!

Seeds of Tears

2011-04-28T15:08:00.003-04:00

I keep reading and hearing about how I’m supposed to be a joyful mother. I search and pray for contentment…yet lack the joy I want my children to see and experience from their mother. Sometimes I want to chop it up to genetics, but know that it is the sin of discontentment. (Or maybe I’m just tired.)

Either way, I decided to do a word study to make sure these folks were telling me the truth…that I should be joyful. Using my concordance I find the word “joy” 155 times in scripture…and this does not include the word “joyful.” As I begin my study on joy, something rings a bell…

“Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.” Psalms 126:5, 6

And I see it…I go forth with tears, weeping. I pray over my children and tears flow out. I fail. They fail. And only God can save us. I beg and plead and pray for Him to deliver us. And I must realize, this is the beginning of the harvest. I must step back and work. Sometimes there won’t be joy…but in the end joy has been promised.

Suffering saints have a seedness of tears. They are in tears often; they share in the calamities of human life, and commonly have a greater share in them than others. But they sow in tears; they do the duty of an afflicted state and so answer the intentions of the providences they are under. Weeping must not hinder sowing; when we suffer ill we must be doing well. Nay, as the ground is by the rain prepared for the seed, and the husbandman sometimes chooses to sow in the wet, so we must improve times of affliction, as disposing us to repentance, and prayer, and humiliation. Nay, there are tears which are themselves the seed that we must sow, tears of sorrow for sin, our own and others, tears of sympathy with the afflicted church, and the tears of tenderness in prayer and under the word. These are precious seed, such as the husbandman sows when corn is dear and he has but little for his family, and therefore weeps to part with it, yet buries it under ground, in expectation of receiving it again with advantage. Thus does a good man sow in tears. They shall have a harvest of joy. The troubles of the saints will not last always, but, when they have done their work, shall have a happy period. The captives in Babylon were long sowing in tears, but at length they were brought forth with joy, and then they reaped the benefit of their patient suffering, and brought their sheaves with them to their own land, in their experiences of the goodness of God to them. Job, and Joseph, and David, and many others, had harvests of joy after a sorrowful seedness. Those that sow in the tears of godly sorrow shall reap in the joy of a sealed pardon and a settled peace. Those that sow to the spirit, in this vale of tears, shall of the spirit reap life everlasting, and that will be a joyful harvest indeed. Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be for ever comforted. (Matthew Henry Commentary on the Whole Bible; Psalms 126:4-6)

For the Love of Suds: All natural laundry detergent

2011-04-21T13:45:00.003-04:00

It wasn’t long ago that I took to thinking about making my own laundry detergent. I mean really, I keep having all these babies and Tide is pretty expensive. I thought about it…for about a day…or a minute and then went on with the Tide way of life…until I met Lorie!

We were taking our annual trip to the Farm Expo and ran into For the Love of Suds. For the Love of Suds makes handmade soaps, lip balm, and laundry detergent. You can read more about the company here.

I was very skeptical at first, (because I’m always skeptical), but I really enjoy this product. So much so, I bought a year’s supply! It is very easy to make and only $5 for a 5 gallon bucket. YES! FIVE DOLLARS for a five GALLON bucket!

When you purchase the laundry detergent, you will receive a bag containing a powder mix and a bar of soap. You will need a 5 gallon bucket with a lid. (We purchased one at Wal-Mart.)

Cut the soap into small pieces and melt on the stove top with five cups of water.

Add 3 gallons of hot water to the powder mixture in your bucket. Mix well. Scrape your fingers along the bottom of your bucket to be sure the powder has not settled and has mixed well.

Once your soap has melted pour into the bucket and stir.

Your all natural laundry detergent is ready for use! Use one cup of the mixture for every load of laundry.

I have found the product cleans your clothes and leaves them smelling very natural and fresh. Hope you will stop by the website and check out For the Love of Suds!

(I was in no way reimbursed for this review. I purchased each product I have received from the company. My review was done because I wanted to share a great, natural, and thrifty product with you.)

Stormy Days

2011-04-14T14:06:00.001-04:00

Can I just write with raw, postpartum, hormonal emotion today? Should you ask me how things are going…I will say, “Really well.” Because, the truth is things are going well. I have a baby that is as content as can be and completely lives up to her name. She has given this momma grace that is much needed…she has sheltered me from the storm.

But there are still days and moments that I want to cry. I do cry. Three weeks in and there are moments that I feel like a failure. I look at her and then I look at my first born and just wished I had known then what I know now. Because now, most days I feel like I’m back peddling trying to fix and mend what I feel like I broke.

Every bone in my body wants to ooze with love and kindness and gentleness…but every day when I have a new day…all that comes out is correction and instruction and harshness. I don’t want this to be who they see…but I also must address the foolishness of their hearts.

Before I go on this rant…let me make clear. God has a great plan. Every moment and every event of my seemingly trivial day is for His glory and for His purpose. I know He is sanctifying me. I know I should be rejoicing in all things. I know there is a greater good. I know that I should not grow weary because in due season I will reap what I sow…but…

It doesn’t make it easier right now. It doesn’t make it easier to nurse an infant and correct a disobedient preschooler…all the while the toddler is about to break his leg from standing on a bicycle seat. It doesn’t make it easier to pick up the never ending line of toys while you know toilet paper is being strewn out all over the bathroom and water is running over the sink because someone is washing her hands for the sixteenth time in five minutes. It doesn’t make it any easier that every day I feel like I’m the mean one, the one who can’t have fun because I’m too busy trying to maintain some type of order and control. Because if I don’t…won’t the whole ship wreck?

And that is where S-I-N rears his ugly head. That is when the whole world can see that my faith is little and I once again trust more in me than I trust in God. I. Want. Control. He has this ship under control and why can’t I just rest in His will? Why can’t I just let go?

And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But He said to them, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” Mark 4:37-40

Anna Lee is born...

2011-03-25T09:00:00.003-04:00

Anna Lee...

"gracious"

"sheltered from the storm"

Born March 23, 2011

8 lbs 13 oz., 20 3/4 inches

One cloud remains that by thy birth

Thou enterest a ruined earth,

My little one.

But thou shalt find with sweet surprise

Earth but a pathway to the skies,

My little one.

Such is our trust, for, Lord, we give

Thy gift to Thee, O then receive

Our little one.

Receive her, Lord, and let her be

Thine own to all eternity...

Thy little one.

H. Grattan Guinness

Book Review: From the Library of A.W. Tozer

2011-03-21T15:37:00.001-04:00

From The Library of A.W. Tozer: Selections From Writers Who Influenced His Spiritual Journey

Compiled by James Stuart Bell

I was initially disappointed when receiving this book for review. I was in such a hurry when I “grabbed it up” because I saw “Tozer.” I naturally assumed it would be a winner. I thought I was receiving a compilation of Tozer’s writings. My disappointment did not last long when I realized the compilation of writings were from spectacular men and women of the past…some of the men who already had a place in our home library.

The book is divided into eight main sections: (1) Worship: The Chief End of Man, (2) Prayer and Contemplation, (3) Exhortations and Prophetic Words, (4) Our Counselor: The Holy Spirit, (5) Jesus Christ: Savior, Sanctifier, Healer, and Coming King, (6) Practicing the Presence of God, (7) On Christian Doctrine, and (8) On Living the Christian Life.

The chapters in each section were short and would provide a good accompaniment to a daily devotion time. Excerpts from the writings of men such as St. Augustine, D.L. Moody, Charles Spurgeon, Samuel Rutherford, Martin Luther, John Bunyan, John Milton, and of course, John Calvin. This is to name of few of the thirty-five writers whose writings were included in this book. I was a bit hesitant as many of the writers seemed to have connections or be a part of the Catholic Church. However, I was, again, not disappointed by the specific selections in the book. The selections appeared to be doctrinally sound and very thought provoking.

One of my favorite excerpts included was from Teresa of Avila, The Life of Saint Teresa of Jesus, “So, then, going from pastime to pastime, from vanity to vanity, from one occasion of sin to another, I began to expose myself exceedingly to the very greatest of dangers: my soul was so distracted by many vanities that I was ashamed to draw near unto God in an act of such special friendship as that of prayer…” And it continues on.

I would highly recommend this to those who love the taste of wisdom from the historical writers of Christianity. I’m a lover of quotes and so this book suited me very well and will remain a jewel on our shelf.

I received this book for free from Bethany House Publishers in exchange for an honest review of the book. There is no obligation for a good review. All opinions are my own.

Our Lucky Love Day

2011-03-17T08:42:00.000-04:00

If I were one to believe in luck over God’s Providence…this would be one of those times. What better day to experience the Luck o’ the Irish than on St. Patrick’s Day? Eight years ago today, I met my love for the first time. I often go back to that meeting and sit in awe of God’s handy work.

Just the other morning when my alarm went off, I heard this song for the first time. Rather than rolling over and hitting the “off” button, I just stayed there and listened because it really did take me back to that place, to that time, to those first few weeks and months.

I’ve explained our story. I’ve explained that the week Nate and I met was the same week doctors found he had a brain tumor… in a place where even a biopsy would’ve been risky. He opted for me to “get out now” but I wouldn’t go that easy. Within days, God was molding us to be a part of each other forever. I would not go.

We would be going to MRIs, CTs, and doctor visit after doctor visit. And then…it was gone. Just like that, no more tumor. No chemo, no operation, not even the risky biopsy. Just when the CT was being completed to figure out how they were going to go in…it was gone.

The next several months were spent following up. The next several years were spent dealing with the fears. He would often wake me up at night because he felt a knot on his body or something just was not right. I wish I could go back and be more sympathetic because I can’t imagine the things that he went through…the fear he had when his life was almost over and then suddenly he miraculously had it back?

God eventually gave him peace about his anxieties. And Nate showed me he wouldn’t let go either. Through heart break after heart break and through one of the most emotionally draining times of my life, he stood by my side. He held me when I couldn’t stand and led me when I thought one of the most important people in my life was on the verge of death. He continues to hold me and walk by me through heart break, through stressed days, through not being enough… and at the end of the day, in some small way he assures me I am enough.

Happy “Day We Met” Anniversary, to my love…

Homeschooling: Bible and Repetition

2011-03-02T08:00:00.005-05:00

I’m not sure why I didn’t learn what I needed to know several months ago. The day when I decided I was going to teach Lily The Lord’s Prayer. We had already been using breakfast time to read God’s Word aloud and a time to open our day with prayer. But Mommy had the good idea of working on some scripture memorization. What better place to begin than the Lord’s Prayer? So, I sat her down on the couch, explained what we were going to do, and said, “Repeat after me…”

“Our Father which art in heaven…” Awaiting her answer back…and then she didn’t repeat after me, she said… “Hallowed be thy name.” We continued the rest of the prayer this way. I closed my Bible and thought that was easy enough. Lily had been hearing the Lord’s Prayer for almost a year each Sunday morning during church. Little did I know she was not only listening…but learning!

We continued on with our regular routine until about six weeks ago when Mommy again had a great idea! I will teach her a commandment a week during breakfast time. So off we went reading Exodus 20:1-17 each morning and eventually added a chapter from Leading Little One’s to God. Week 1, I would emphasize Commandment 1…and so on.

She was doing well learning the commandments until about week 5 or 6. She started “stubbing up” and not wanting to answer my questions when I would ask. I knew she knew who the commandments were given to and how many commandments there were and each commandment we had learned. Why was she refusing to answer? One afternoon we decided to address the issue with Daddy.

We started going through our basic questions and as we got to “You shall not murder.” She continued… “You shall not commit adultery.” I glanced at him with a look of amazement and a bit of confusion. We had not learned that yet! And then I decided to try something…we went through the entire scripture of Exodus 20:1-17 that we had read each morning for the past few weeks. I would leave out words and even phrases and she would fill in the blanks! My three year old nearly had the entire passage of the Ten Commandments memorized by hearing me read them!

All of this time I had been fretting that she wasn’t learning the way I wanted her to. She wasn’t answering the questions that I wanted her to answer. But behind the scenes, at least as far as I could see, God was doing His work. She was learning through her own eyes and experiencing His Word for herself the way He wanted her to. And while doing so, He was showing me my worries and anxieties of not being enough would be met by Him. Again, I needed to quite relying on myself and trust that He will equip me for what He has called me to do.

“What is required of us is, that we should implant a love of the Word; that the most delightful moments of the child’s day should be those in which his mother reads for him, with sweet sympathy and holy gladness in voice and eyes, the beautiful stories of the Bible” ~Charlotte Mason

Still counting…

2011-02-28T08:00:00.003-05:00

As we count down the days to 24, 23, 22… I find it harder to count the gifts. Not because I don’t see them, because I don’t have the energy to grab my pencil. I don’t have the energy to even pick up the book. So, I coast through this time knowing it is a season and it won’t be long before my blessings and gifts are counted in abundance. It won’t be long before she is here and I wonder what number she will be? And until then…I count slowly…

11. Pitter patter of feet in the early morning hours

12. A stranger praying for Anna Lee

13. Naps…much needed naps

14. Sister and brother making each other laugh…

15. Sister and brother laughter making this tired momma smile

16. Blessings, both needed and wanted, provided when we just wait

17. Dinner guests and great conversation

18. The little girl who exceeds my expectations

19. Free books

20. Knowing that this counting doesn’t have to be rushed and that it’s OK that I’m taking it slow and easy…counting and life.

Pillow Talk

2011-02-23T07:33:00.000-05:00

Since being married, we have become accustomed to situations such as these. At one time, we would turn to friends and family to settle our “quarrels.” We began to see the stress this caused others and decided we should find another outlet to settle our “situations.” Should you visit our home, it would not be surprising to see a dictionary out on the table…or even witness one of these occurrences.

See, as surprising as it may seem, Nate and I have disagreements. Usually these disagreements pertain to some factual information such as the pronunciation of words and often the mere existence of words. This is seventy-five percent of the reason I own a smart phone…to prove myself right. For example, relaxment is not a word. And fun, funny, funnier, and funniest…are not derived words of the same base. We did, however, have to pull over on the road because when he finally realized what he was doing we couldn’t stop laughing.

So, either way, that is a little background to give you a view of how this following incident took place…

While watching AFVs, as we do do nightly, Nate looks at me confused when a lady couldn’t break an egg with her gluteus maximus. (Why she was trying to do this is beyond me.)

He says: “You wouldn’t think it would be hard.”

Me: “Well, you can’t break an egg with the palm of your hand, so it may be hard.”

(And this is my favorite part, that look like I’m the most insane person in the world.)

Nate: “You’re full of it! I know I can break an egg with the palm of my hand.”

Me: “Really. Well, let’s go try. There is scientific proof that you cannot do it.”

After a little wager and a little more "discussion", we made our way to the kitchen. Note the move of the fingers at the end of the video. He did not just defy scientific fact.

I love it when he says, “Well, I’ll be.”

Will I Ever Learn…

2011-02-17T14:47:00.002-05:00

Last night after I read stories and put the babies to bed, I recall the frustration I felt leaving their bedroom. I don’t know why I felt frustration. It was just my way of once again being angry that things and people and life don’t fit into my mold of how it all should be…once again my expectations grind against God’s way and His plans.

As I sat on the couch, I recall the intense desire to go back to their rooms and take each of them and hug them just a little longer and give them another kiss. My love for them is so large and I feel at that moment that I haven’t and couldn’t possibly convey it to them enough…maybe, just maybe, another hug and kiss would do it.

I get a second chance this morning and I stop what I’m doing and live in the moment, and hug her when I first see her face. It’s not long before life becomes an emergency again. She peers up at my necklaces and asks to wear one. I see them hanging there and realize the last one she wore is missing and bark orders that if I allow you to wear my necklaces you must bring them back to me.

As I’m helping her dress, I begin to feel the guilt and I say to her…

“I hope one day you forgive me for being the first child. The child I have to learn how to be a good mommy with…” She listens. I continue, “I know one day though, you are going to be a very good mommy. What do you think it takes to be a good mommy, Lily?” And she simply turns around…and points to me.

She doesn’t see me when I fail…she just sees Mommy and love. I continue to believe Satan’s lie that I’m worthless and forget God’s grace and His promises. Will I ever have enough faith to stop trusting in myself and start trusting in Him?

The Beginning of Gifts

2011-02-14T07:31:00.000-05:00

I have been reading Ann’s blog since November…the first post I read was about Christmas…and the second was on Motherhood. It seemed each time I ventured over to visit with her…I was more and more captivated and more and more moved to tears.

I thought about the book often and often put it out of my head. But, Saturday, when Nate brought the mail in I ran to the comfy couch, the couch where I sat alone and poured the entire first chapter in as fast as I could…and I cried and I cried. I wasn’t expecting it until Monday and the two copies I bought were actually back ordered!

After the first chapter, I realized I needed to slow down. I needed to take it all in…but I really wanted to give thanks. I really wanted to begin this journey of being all here. It wasn’t too long ago I was seeking the contentment and joy that may only be found in giving thanks to Him…the One we owe all our thanks to…

I was reluctant to take the plunge…because I always take plunges…I wondered if I couldn’t just take my time with this. But, when I realized all the things around me and how when you lived the moment you were in that it actually does slow time…and it really does bring you joy.

And so…my list begins… eucharisteo…

1. Books that make me cry

2. A little boy that dances and laughs

3. A little girl who loves her Nana in a special way

4. Butterflies for my husband…

5. An amazing body of believers to worship and fellowship with…

6. Perfect chocolate chip cheesecake

7. Walking away from social networking…to be more where I need to be

8. Expected mail arriving unexpectedly early

9. Unborn baby bottom moving in my belly

10. Quotes…

11. More time to realize I don’t need to be in a hurry

“…life change comes when we receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change.” Ann Voskamp

Award and Winner!

2011-01-31T08:00:00.002-05:00

Blogging has many benefits. Not only do we get to share our own thoughts, but we are encouraged and uplifted by the writings of our blogging comrades. And sometimes…we win stuff!

I was ecstatic when I won Think by John Piper from Tried By Fire! This is one of my favorite blogs that I am recently following. (And not because I just won a book from her!)

And then, low and behold…our friend Gregg over at Gospel-Driven Disciples awarded Losing Michelle with a Stylish Blogger Award. Thank you, Gregg!

With the acceptance of this award, I must pass the award on to other fellow bloggers. I follow several blogs that would deserve this award…but I think I will send some folks my friend Sarah’s way and give this award to Crumbs Under My Table. Sarah and I met online by speaking out for our faith and found out we live in the same neighborhood! You will find Sarah has a great love for God’s Word when visiting her blog. (You can pick up the award at the bottom of the page, Sarah.)

Another part of the award is that I must share seven things about myself…this should be easy…we all love to talk about ourselves, right?

I am a creature of habit and routine. On any given Monday-Friday, you will probably find me doing the same thing at the same time most days. (As may or may not be evidenced by some of the following things about me.)
I am a morning person. It is nearly impossible for me to sit down the first two hours I am awake. This is not in any way caffeine induced, it is all natural.
My favorite place to be at 6AM is on the road walking or running. Unfortunately, my body thinks when it is pregnant it is a descendant of the slug family. I’m thinking about running home from the hospital.
My undergraduate degree is in psychology. I think that is hilarious because I don’t believe in what I now consider hog wash. (Sorry, Dr. Pelley…I still love you and you are still my most favorite instructor EVER.)
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a Fly Girl when I grew up.
When I was in college, I scheduled showers and meals. Actually, other than classes and work, most of my day was scheduled in 15 minute increments.
My husband doesn’t like to cook when I’m in the kitchen. Before he has used something he needs, I have washed and/or put it away.

I hope none of this leaves you with the impression I’m anal. I’m sure Dr. Pelley could have a hay day with this. Have a great Monday!

Contentment and Joy

2011-01-27T13:35:00.002-05:00

Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 1 Timothy 6:6-8

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness… Galatians 5:22

As my mind wanders doing my daily tasks, I find myself lacking. I wonder how I can strive for joy and contentment? Is it within me to strive or can only God provide me with the two things I long for the most?

As I realize the wash has stopped, there is another load of clothes to fold, dishes in the sink, and dinner to be prepared. I say out loud to my husband, who is home for a quick lunch, “It never stops.” And later when I’m putting away clothes and the children are napping, I realize again how I lack joy and contentment and what I said to my dear husband was wrong. The service I give to my family is all in vain if I find no joy…if I do it out of duty and not out of love will I ever win their hearts?

So, I go back to my original question…can I strive for joy and contentment or is this something God must work in me? Where is the balance between His work and my responsibility? Is it that God shows me those things I lack so I continuously come back to His grace?

When I find myself burdened by the same daily tasks, consumed with the thoughts of how I could run this home better, and how my children could be more obedient if I would just do something different…I’m telling Him He is not sufficient. I’m telling Him His grace is not sufficient. I’m telling Him…I need more than Him.

Contentment. Joy.

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Homeschooling: Catechizing Preschoolers

2011-01-24T08:00:00.009-05:00

During these early years, something we really hope to instill in our children is a love for God and His Word. Both Nate and I hope that our children will not face the difficulties we did as adults when we realized we didn't really know why we believed what we believed. We want to train them in God's Word and along the way, teach them to be able to ask and answer biblical questions.

At breakfast each morning, the children and I pray, read scripture, and occasionally review the Catechism for Young Children. I really enjoy this time...there is something wonderful about watching them grow in His Word.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. Deut. 6:7

Reality can change quickly…

2011-01-19T08:00:00.004-05:00

God is so sustaining in our time of need. That day when I couldn’t take it…the day when the next thing that happened was going to bring me to tears. I saw Him lift it up and take it off of my shoulders.

As the pressure built, I sat quietly at the kitchen table as they played around me. I could look at them and see… that day, it was all me. They played together by my side while I dealt with my emotions.

And then they napped. When they awoke I could still see Him. I could still see Him guiding their spirits, as so to say, “Momma can only handle a little right now.” So, when refused a request, they simply walked away with joy and no questions and no crying to find something else to hold their attention. I sat on the couch, trying to find the motivation to prepare dinner and gain back control over the mess. I watched as she put away her blocks and her toys where they belonged…never being asked. I looked at him snuggled quietly beside me.

As I go to prepare dinner, he calls and says, “Don’t worry about it. We’ll go out.” And then there I am…a step ahead with tomorrow’s dinner half prepared. I continue on and put it away for tomorrow. As it is prepared, I hear the quietness around me. That curious quietness that sometimes cannot be good with two little ones. I step into the room, to find them both sitting there in the floor…each with a book of their own in their small hands.

I don’t hear the cries of squabbles. I don’t hear the questions. I just hear the peace of God saying…there will be joy…not tomorrow, but today.

He whispers sweet peace to me...

Reality

2011-01-17T08:00:00.008-05:00

Today is one of those days. One of those days when the kids have been up an hour and I know we need a “do over.” I send Lily to her room to go back to bed for a little while…with these instructions. When you get up this time, we are starting over. We are starting over with a more pleasant attitude towards all of those around us. When in reality, I’m the one that needs to start this day over. I’m the one standing at the kitchen sink trying to just block out the incessant questions and the incessant crying.

Today is one of those days when we are riding down the road and I want to turn the radio up to block it all out. I don’t want to hear so I don’t have to answer any more questions. I don’t want to hear what is going on in the back seat so I don’t have to deal with it.

Today is one of those days that it takes all I have not to cry and to hold myself together. Today is one of those days when it takes all I have to not feel like a complete failure. I feel like a failure because I’m tired of answering the same question for the one hundredth time. I’m tired of putting the Handy Manny gloves on for the one hundredth time. I’m tired of settling the squabbles over hats and tricycles.

So, I just sit. And for today I let it all go. I don’t worry about cleaning up the lunch mess so I can put the Handy Manny gloves on his hands for the one hundred and on… second time. I just sit here and try to not be distracted by the toys that are accumulating on the floor so I can answer the same question just one more time.

I have so much to be thankful for each and every day, including today. But on the rare occasion, I have one of those days. Today is one of those days and I know tomorrow there will be more joy.

The Conviction of Love

2011-01-12T08:00:00.014-05:00

I had heard this exercise prompt before. You know, replace “Love” with your name in the “love passage” in 1 Corinthians 13. I had never actually done it…I’m still not even sure if it is a proper exercise. But, I went with it. I decided I would take my time and try this out.

Michelle suffers long and is kind; Michelle does not envy; Michelle does not parade herself, is not puffed up; Michelle does not behave rudely, does not seek her own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Can we be honest? Should this “replacement” be legit, I have very little love in me. Of course, there are moments when I am kind and patient. I have a toddler and a preschooler, God has granted me patience most days. However, there are the other days.

But oh dear… puffed up, behaves rudely, is not provoked, thinks no evil?!

When I can’t understand why other people just can’t see scripture, faith, parenting, (fill in the blank), the way I do, I get puffed up and I forget 1 Cor 4:7. (For who makes you differ from another? And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you indeed did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?)

When I am frustrated at my husband and I use no words, but angry looks and attitudes I am behaving rudely…and chances are I have allowed myself to be provoked. I have forgotten the fruits of the Spirit…the fruits of joy, gentleness, and self-control.

And by just using the two examples above, we arrive at “thinking” evil. How our thoughts can control us! Am I “bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ?” (2 Cor 10:5) When I rage in my selfish mind about why my husband, my mother, my sister, or my friend don’t do things the way I want them to…my thoughts tear me down and in turn my actions and words do not lift others up in love.

So, I am brought back to my knees and back to Christ. His grace is the only answer for my selfish desires and motives. I pray for love. I pray that I can love my God with all my heart, all my mind, and all my soul. And in God’s provision of my love for Him, I will speak His love to those around me.

Crazy Love: First Impressions

2011-01-10T08:00:00.007-05:00

About a year ago a friend of mine suggested I read Crazy Love by Francis Chan. At the time, I must admit, I was skeptical. I was skeptical because I am always skeptical of best selling, highly popular books and pastors. If you draw large crowds in the form of a mega church, I’m probably not coming…unless of course, you’re Charles Spurgeon. I figured Chan was just another Rick Warren or Joel Olsteen.

Either way, over the course of the year I would listen up as I heard the name Francis Chan just to see what he was all about. In the last few weeks, I started to hear about him stepping down from the pastoral position at his church. Apparently, this happened in October. What interested me most was why he stepped down. Basically, Chan said his life of fame and comfort was not lining up with scripture. He decided to step away and spend time with Christians who were being persecuted and whose lives were the more biblical model of Christianity. So, he went to Asia. I believe the first news article I read mentioned he realized when he heard “Francis Chan” more in his church than he heard the “Holy Spirit,” he knew something was wrong. Anything that calls Christians to be extreme or radical peaks my interests so I bought the book.

I am half way through the book and I must say I am impressed. I don’t believe my doctrinal views line up with his, but I believe it will be very convicting and point out how little we actually obey the commands of Jesus and therefore, how little we actually love Jesus.

Are we willing to lay down everything to follow Him? How many times did Jesus tell us to feed the poor? Didn’t he say when you have a feast to not invite those you know but instead the poor, the blind, the lame, the crippled? Isn’t it true that God really only gets the “leftovers” of what we have to give? We live in crazy comfort and then feel good when we give a little money here or there. And truth be told, we don’t give with love but with pride and judgment.

The questions then are these… are we truly followers of Christ if we refuse to lay down it all and only give God what keeps us in comfort? Are we only carrying the label of Christian while hardly living the life? We can praise God for the grace he provides for His children, but isn’t faith without works dead?

I’m in no way advocating a works based “salvation,” as I believe in grace alone through Christ alone. However, Christ’s words do resound in my mind and in my heart… “Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come and follow Me.” (Luke 18:22) So far, I believe Chan is right. We’re offering up leftover sacrifices to a God that wants all or nothing.

Examine yourself. (2 Cor 13:5) Chan echoes my own words just a few weeks ago, “‘Do I really believe this?’ Because if we truly believed in His Word wouldn’t our lives look much different?”

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. (Matt 22:37)

I don’t know about you, but I can’t say that I’m even close to obeying this first and greatest commandment…

Sometimes…Plans Change

2011-01-06T08:00:00.015-05:00

It was only a week ago that I spout out how I planned on finishing my systematic reading of the Bible by the time Ms. Anna arrives. For the past nine months or so I have been reading through the Old Testament. My original plan was to finish in 6 months…which would have been possible if I had not been reading Chronicles when my morning sickness kicked in! This threw me off my plan and into small daily doses of Psalms. I eventually kicked back in to gear and realized if I doubled my reading assignment for the day I could finish before “maternity leave.” And then…

I reached Isaiah. Prior to Isaiah, I was just “reading” through, covering the material if you will. Besides, other than CHRONICLES, I had read most of it before so I was able to tread covered ground and pick up more this time around. Well, I can’t do that with the prophets. I need to study the prophets. So, I set aside my timeline and my thin Bible that I carry everywhere so I can read anywhere… And I drug out my old, stand by me, teach me all things Bible, and have started on the endeavor with no timeline and with only learning in mind.

Today I will begin chapter 7. The thing that stands out most to me about these first six chapters of Isaiah is the similarity between Israel and the state of America currently. The rebellion is the same and it is hard for me to keep in mind while reading that this is before captivity. That Isaiah is not talking about us.

Your princes are rebellious, And companions of thieves; Everyone loves bribes, and follows after rewards. They do not defend the fatherless, nor does the cause of the widow come before them. Isaiah 1:23

I will give children to be their princes, and babes shall rule over them. The people will be oppressed, every one by another every one by his neighbor; the child will be insolent toward the elder, and the base toward the honorable. Isaiah 3:5

For Jerusalem stumbled, and Judah is fallen, Because their tongue and their doings are against the Lord, to provoke the eyes of His glory. The look on their countenance witnesses against them, and they declare their sin as Sodom; they do not hide it. Woe to their soul! For they have brought evil upon themselves. Isaiah 3:8-9

And this is why plans change…I cannot just read the prophets. What was Isaiah saying to them? What was Isaiah saying to us, if anything? Can we as rebellious nation learn from the rebellion of God’s chosen people? My prayer is that God will help me to learn and to know Him better as I finish the Old Testament.

(Note: That Bible I was talking about can be found HERE. If you are looking for an excellent study Bible, this is it. I have the older edition which is red letter. It appears the newest edition is not red letter. I have only seen ONE other Bible like mine in seven years! The pages are very thin but the information in this Bible far surpasses any study Bible I have ever seen. I HIGHLY recommend it! If you have any questions about it just let me know.)

As I Struggle…

2011-01-03T14:00:00.001-05:00

Each day I begin a struggle. A struggle to show the grace God has given me to my children. Each day I struggle to be the joyful mother God wants me to be. I find it hard to forget about what needs to be done or how it should be done, and just laugh. Just how do I win their hearts and at the same time teach the importance of accountability and diligence?

I struggle. I struggle with the fear that I am badgering rather than discipling. It is so easy to go a sway when both our children are at the age where we spend more time teaching them what NOT to do than what to do. It seems as if correction overrules praise most days. I know this is just a season. I know that I should not grow weary…for I will reap what I sow.

It really isn’t difficult for me to be a “Yes Mom.” We make lots of memories and I allow for messes…but is it enough? Do I send them the message of joy in all we do?

Ann Voskamp’s memory moves me because it has been and can be me at any moment when I choose to be selfish. She remembers:

“How I turned the last child’s light out that night and slumped down a door frame and how I cried quiet in the dark.

The mother grief scalds the cheeks — but what washes away the mother grime?

That night I knew it: I’ve become the parent I knew as a child. The one I looked straight in the face and fierce vowed I’d never be. But my ears ring with the echo of my voice, that voice: Can’t you see what a mess this is? How many times do I have to tell you? What were you thinking?”

I have read this probably close to five times…and each time tears flood to my eyes because each day I struggle…I struggle to remain patient and kind and to use only soft words…words that lift up and show grace.

Each day I pray that I will be a mother they love and they long for when I am not there…but is my heart’s desire seen in my actions? So today, I’ll struggle…I’ll struggle to be present… not only physically, but spiritually and mentally. Because…

“When I am present to the Presence of God meeting us in this moment, I am not worrying, I am not regretting, I am not chaffing, griping, fuming, fretting.

Be all here: and be holy.

Be all here: and be happy.

Because the Presence of I AM always fills the present moment.” ~ Ann Voskamp

Quiver what?

2010-12-29T08:00:00.013-05:00

It was not long ago that I shared with you some of the more “interesting” responses we received with the announcement of our third child. At the time, I was entering into the nauseating stages of the first trimester. It was not long into this trimester that Nate and I both began to ponder just how we could possibly do this again. I would be more than dishonest if I said it was not sometimes near impossible to keep up with two toddlers while being, not only sick, but completely exhausted. I just could not possibly think of doing this again.

But, as always, God has a way of changing hearts and I still feel “empty” with the thought of only three little ones. (Nate, however, is not completely on board at the moment.) I am still not positive what my convictions are or if they are actually founded by Scripture. But I know a few things…

I know when I hear someone say they “don’t want anymore,” it makes my heart cringe.

I know that right now, I’m not brave enough to tell God how many children I am going to have. “A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

I know it doesn’t make sense to call them a blessing and at the same time refuse those blessings. “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” Psalm 127:3

As a culture, we say we love our children more than anything. Would you like $1 million? Well…YEAH. Would you like a bigger, nicer home? Of course! How about that new car? Yes. How about more kids? NO. THANKS. So, if we love our kids more than our money, our homes, and our cars…then why do we despise the thought of more? Why have children become a burden instead of a blessing? Is it that our children prevent us from having all the other “stuff” that makes us happy…but what does the Bible say? “Jesus said to him, ‘If you want to be perfect, go sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven, and come, follow Me.’ But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.” Matthew 19:21-22

I say this because I believe the number one reason people do not have more children is money. That is a question we get a lot. How are you going to be able to afford them? Just wait until they get older, they get more expensive. Is it possible they get more expensive because you choose to give them worldly things instead of godly things? I’m not saying that there are not expenses to having children; but I am saying the expense of your children depends a lot on the lifestyle you choose to live. If the lifestyle you choose to live prevents you from expanding the kingdom of God, then maybe you need to reflect on how you are glorifying God. So, now I ask myself, will I walk away sorrowful because of my desire for great possessions?

Of those few things I know, I also know this;

I know that regardless of what happens, God is sovereign. If He closes my womb, He is sovereign. If He closes our hearts, He is sovereign. No matter the spiritual battle I am currently having, His will…will be done.

I also know this probably won't be the last time you read about this...

What Resoulutions Made It?

2010-12-27T08:00:00.007-05:00

Last year in December, I posted about my aspirations for the upcoming year. So, now is a time to look back and see what exactly did I see through to the end!

1. Simply, start working out at least 5 out of 7 days. Happened until July…see #6. (I was too tired and too sick…now I’m just too lazy.)

2. Drink more water. I did, I really did!

3. Eat less sugar. Well…I did eat clean for a short period of time, which means no sugar.

4. By April 2010, resume training for my second-degree black belt. Did not happen and decided it took too much time away from my family. I nixed this one.

5. Run the CASA 8K on June 12, 2010. I DID it! Remember?

6. Spend at least 6 months out of 2010 not pregnant, nursing, and/or both. Well, it turns out this wasn’t really a good resolution for us. I made it two months. And am VERY happy this resolution did not make it.

7. Spend more time studying scripture. This was a positive. It has taken me almost a year, but I hope to have read through the entire Bible before Anna arrives. I tried for reading it within 6 months but #6 interfered with a few of my resolutions.

8. Find a church family. We have been attending Westminster Presbyterian Church for over a year now! And we are regular members of a church for the first time since we married! Being led there stemmed from this experience.

9. Pray more as a family. We are praying more together…but can’t we always pray more?

10. Spend at least one night a month with my husband without babies. (Not enough, but a start.) This…does not happen. It is more like twice a year.

All in all...it has been a great year. I believe my only resolution for 2011 will be to adapt to new baby Anna Lee.

Pregnancy Woes and Potatoes

2010-12-22T15:07:00.000-05:00

Along with the excitement of a new bundle of joy, pregnancy has many other things to offer. Gasping for air. An unlimited intake of Tums. Waddling induced by aching hips. But for me...the best of all is medical grade compression stockings. Some of you may know them as TED hose. Either way, each morning before leaving the bed, I must wrestle and grapple with what should be impossible. I pray daily there is no hidden camera in our room catching what could be damaging collateral as I "waller" around the bed.

I couldn't help but notice the other day that the end result reminds me a bit of my childhood. It was a neat little craft we did with pantyhose...it was so strange the striking resemblance my thighs have with....

The Pantyhose Potato!!!

Oh well...I'll be up and running again soon.

Longing for God

2010-12-20T08:12:00.000-05:00

“O God, You are my God;

Early will I seek You;

My soul thirsts for You;

My flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land

where there is no water.”

Psalm 63:1

How this passage speaks to me! My heart’s desire is to know God. I have the longing to know Him; yet, I am in this world where He often seems so hard to find. I search and I search. And then I find comfort…

“And those who know Your name

will put their trust in You;

For You, Lord, have not forsaken

Those who seek You.”

Psalm 9:10

What confidence to know that my continued seeking Him is a mark He has not forsaken me!

Homeschooling: The Early Years Book List

2010-12-16T11:47:00.001-05:00

These first few years one of my goals is to introduce good reading to my little ones. I have put together a list of books that I have introduced or want to introduce to them during these preschool years. (Some of these are books for Mommy.) The books I have found so far are books recommended by Before Five in A Row, Simply Charlotte Mason, and some good friends that have been there, done that. I consider this a "rough draft" for the time being and hope to add more great books as we go along.

Momma's Book List

The Mother at Home by John Abbott
Before Five in A Row Parent Book
Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons
Honey for a Child's Heart Gladys Hunt
Leading Little Ones to God by Marian Schoolland
Mommy Teach Me by Barbara Curtis
Mommy Teach Me to Read by Barbara Curtis

Preschool Book List

The ABC Bunny by Wanda Gag
If Jesus Came to My House by Joan Gale Thomas
Blueberries for Sal by Robert McCloskey
Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey
Poems and Prayers for the Very Young by Martha Alexander
A Child's Garden of Verses by Robert Lewis Stevenson
The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
The Big Red Barn
We're Going on a Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen
Ten Little Lady Bugs
Runaway Bunny
Brown Bear, Brown Bear
Barnyard Dance by Sandra Boynton (other books by Sandra Boynton)
The Mitten by Jan Brett (other books by Jan Brett)
Guess How Much I Love You
Jamberry
So Many Bunnies
The Snowy Day
Goodnight Moon
The Shy Little Kitten
The Pokey Little Puppy

I was so lucky to have been able to preserve almost all of my books from my childhood. Several of these books are on my book list for the later years but even now...Lily enjoys Amelia Bedelia! I pray that each of my children will have the same love for reading that I had when I was a child.

some of my treasures

Do you have any books I should add?

Broken at His Feet

2010-12-11T17:05:00.001-05:00

As I spoke with a dear friend over lunch, we discussed the different stages and times of desire we have after God and His Word. She seemed to be in a place where I myself have walked so many times before. It is a place where God seems so far away. It is the place where you look at yourself and think, “How can I be of God?” As we spoke, I was able to recall the thoughts of those much wiser than I in the faith – in that, when we see how far we are from God, our only choice is to flee to the feet of Christ. It is when we think we are “OK” and “good” that we forget our need for a Savior. (Psalms 51:17)

Through the conversation, I remembered a time not long ago where I, too, was dealing with doubt. I recall spending the morning in His Word and being flooded with the thought, “Do I really believe this?” Because if we truly believed in His Word wouldn’t our lives look much different? Through the course of my reading that morning my heart began to cry out to God – for faith, for understanding. My mind could not comprehend how I am supposed to teach my children about Jesus if I am not sure about Jesus myself. And then I came to the conclusion, even if I spend the rest of my life in doubt and still lead them to Him… all the pain is worth it. Even if in the end I am reprobate but they know Jesus, it is all worth it.

Before I knew it that morning, I was scrambling to change diapers and prepare breakfast. My darling Nate called before I made my way to the table and I found more comfort in pouring my heart out to him. Over tears I told him of my doubts and my issues with faith and my cries out to God. And then God opened my eyes to something more that day… Here I am preparing and caring for my children and my home. There they are at my feet looking up at me. There they are watching me broken at the feet of Jesus. And that is when it dawned on me, when they see my brokenness…they do see what it means to believe in Jesus.

I pray for my dear friend that she sees His Spirit will send her on in perseverance.

"One mark of growth in grace is increased humility. The man whose soul is growing feels his own sinfulness and unworthiness more every year." - J. C. Ryle

A Time of Fasting

2010-12-06T13:45:00.001-05:00

I sign in to make an announcement of time away; time away for something very specific. As I sign in, it isn’t long before blog after blog and link after link float onto my screen. I have known for quite sometime now how distracting the instant communication in my life has become. I have pondered shutting it all down for a period of time. And then a fellow blogger gave me the “push” I needed to make that step.

We are a people of busyness and our lives are full of distraction. Have you ever thought about spending your time in prayer and fasting? Fasting has always been fascinating to me. When I was younger, I envisioned myself spending hours in prayer without food or water. Merely a year ago, I envisioned myself alone in a hotel room with nothing but my Bible. I needed a time to clear my head and to see God’s miraculous work in my life. I felt I needed to feel the physical presence of God in my life and I felt my faith needed to increase. After all the time I’ve spent thinking about fasting and prayer, I have never actually had a time of fasting and prayer.

Obviously, being five months with child I cannot endure a physical fasting from food. So, as I think about my life and where my biggest distractions lie, it would be the World Wide Web. From blogs to Facebook to sermons to youtube…two hours has past before I realize. My mind is even distracted when I am away from my computer by the ever-present Blackberry. There is not a moment when I am not “in touch” with all that is going on out there…meaningless or not. As things happen, I wonder in what way should I share this with the world? As if the world really cares what is going on in my life at any particular moment. I believe it can all come back to vanity and pride at times. Sometimes, I have come to wonder if my thoughts are not thoughts but a mere step to the next blog post. I believe sometimes what we put out there stops just short of glorifying God and walks right into lifting up self.

So, today, I lay it all down. I will not sign in or on anywhere out here. My phone notifications are going off and I am unplugging. It may be a week or two and it may be a month. I will spend my time reading, praying, and journaling…with pen and paper. (Gasp!) As oddly as it sounds, this could be hard. I border on OCD and addiction with my phone…oh but to be free from the bondage!

A Very Merry Franklin Christmas

2010-11-27T03:49:00.001-05:00

It all started one cold day in December 2003 as Christmas time was wrapping up. As newlyweds, we found ourselves in a debate on Santa Claus and with a credit card balance; the two things we eventually both came to hate. We didn’t know it yet, but we had just participated in our last Christmas. I can’t remember a thing we bought or received that year. What I remembered the most was that conversation and the marvelous way in which it led us.

Our dearest family friend, Jerry, was visiting with us in our condo as he did most nights. And as most nights, our conversation was headed to God’s Word and the superficial nature of our own religion. Jerry, who had put up his Christmas tree in October, was done; he was over it. Apparently, as his merry tree, all beautiful and glittery, sparkled through the past two months, he began to see the idolatry all around him. I’m not sure if he was even aware at that moment of the idolatry we would truly come to see. And then, I hit my other half with, “Well, I don’t think if we have kids we should tell them there is a Santa.” What?! (This would be one of our two greatest debates ever as a couple…the other was on eternal security.) Of course, we went through the whole, “but it’s just for fun.” But, it is a lie. “I believed in Santa and I’m OK.” But, it is a lie.

Over the next few days I would spend hours in front of my computer, reading article after article on the history of Christmas. Nate would come home for work and there I would be with more information about why Christians shouldn’t celebrate Christmas. To think, I was one or two classes away from a minor in religion…from a Christian school, and I missed this. How could that be?

It wouldn’t be long after Christmas that we announced to our family and friends that would be our last year participating in Christmas festivities. We received many reactions. We received anger. We received discussions of persuasion. We received sadness. The one thing we didn’t receive was support over our convictions. Of course, by the time Christmas would roll around the next year, we just learned to close ourselves off and stay away from the things we abhorred so greatly.

Over the years, I would have to say we have softened up quite a bit. We discuss Christian liberty and man’s tradition and how we can make it all work for our family. We still don’t celebrate Christmas. We still can’t find a reason to…each time we try to come up with our own way of doing it we go back to…but it is a lie. Each and everything you believe about Christmas, is a lie. And when is it OK to lie? Santa isn’t real. Jesus is not the reason for the season. In reality, the very thing God hates the most is the reason for the season…idolatry. Are we not desecrating our churches just the way Israel desecrated the temple? Of course, we are not worshipping pagan gods with our pagan trees, but things used to worship pagan gods are in our churches. Each time I read the accounts of Israel in the Old Testament it resounds over and over…we are doing the same thing.

Sometimes, it all boils down to the fact that people feel sorry for our kids. But I see a different picture. I see my two beautiful children sitting at the breakfast table the day before Thanksgiving awaiting their waffles. They are listening to Momma talk about Thanksgiving and as I walk to the table carrying my own plate, I ask Lily, “What are you thankful for Lily?” I am awaiting the for sure answer, “Baby dolls,” or “horses,” or “play-doh.” But no, I hear, “God. And Mommy, JJ is thankful for Jesus.” Don’t feel sorry for my kids, they’re in His hands.

Daughters of Virtue

2010-11-16T02:08:00.000-05:00

I see beautiful, amazing, and godly young women all around me. I see the faithfulness of God in the lives of the daughters of friends who have raised them in the admonition of the Lord. I see modest young women, intelligent young women, and women much more prepared than I too be mothers and wives. I think of one such young lady, and I’m inclined to call her a “girl” because of the girls I’m accustomed to seeing in the world are just that…“girls” unprepared for the world. She is but nineteen or twenty and her beauty is amazing. Her inner beauty radiates from the inside out through her smile. Her eyes sparkle and you are drawn to her…because you know she is different. And as time goes on and you know this young lady you realize why she is different. Her father and mother have instilled her with godly principles and ideas of biblical womanhood. She is modest in her dress and speech, her diligence in work can be seen from afar, and her humility is plain.

I cannot help but think of my own self at that age. I think of the friends that walked with me through life and how if they saw me now, they could very much recognize me physically. But with a little time, they would find me not only changed but almost unrecognizable from the girl they once knew. Some could say it was the nature of life and that marriage and children took their natural course in my life. However, if they stay just a little longer, they will see it is so much more. My thinking has changed and my heart is completely new. I have truly become a new creature in Christ. I have been truly born from above. (John 1:13, 2 Corinthians 5:17)

Had I walked the earth during Jesus’ ministry, the Pharisees would have scolded Him for looking at me, speaking to me, and touching me. I would have sat at His feet and known that I was broken and in need of a Physician. I would have felt unworthy of being in His presence. However, with His great love, He would have touched my face and said, “Go, and sin no more.” (John 8, Psalm 99:5)

I can look back on my spiritual transformation and marvel at the work of God in my life. But then I take a step back and realize something about my own daughters. If we, like the parents above, instill in them a biblical worldview and godly principles, how will they ever know their need for Christ? If there is not a time in their lives where they can’t remember not knowing Christ, how will they keep from becoming like the Pharisees? Lord willing, we will in no way neglect our calling to raise our children in the admonition of the Lord. But, if each of my daughters never walk a road with sinners, how will she know that she sits just as unworthily at Jesus’ feet as I?

Homeschooling: The Early Years

2010-10-27T14:32:00.001-04:00

"In this time of extraordinary pressure, educational and social, perhaps a mothers first duty to her children is to secure for them a quiet and growing time, a full six years of passive receptive life, the waking part of it for the most part spent out in the fresh air." Charlotte Mason

Several years ago, no one could have told me I would have the mindset I currently have on home education. Before Lily was born, I had the strong desire to home school. I even read articles and books well before it was time. My aspirations were to get started early in preschool and teach her to count and her ABC’s and how to read and write well before she needed to. God has made me much wiser since that time. I have come to see this time is precious and I have many years to come for “education.” Our focus now is building a firm foundation of godly character and having fun.

This is how we home school in the early years…

We play with Play-Doh…

We finger paint…

We paint birdhouses…

We play in the kitchen…

We write on chalkboards…We fly kites…

We play outside…

and we help Daddy in the yard.

So, it is really quite simple. We educate with life and nothing forced…all with in the security of own home. We talk about God and we talk about character. We show them they are loved and do all we can to make sure they never feel they are burdens to us.

Blog Anniversary!

2010-10-20T09:20:00.000-04:00

As I finished up The Home Series, this old blog celebrated it’s one year anniversary! I must say, I have enjoyed blogging and a lot of exciting things have happened in the last year.

My baby boy turned one, my baby girl turned three, and the little unknown made his or her presence known. I failed miserably at keeping all my resolutions, but still ran the race. (And some of them needed to go anyway.) I went from Finding Michelle to Losing Her.

By blogging about showers, doctrine, marriage, hugs, recipes, frugal living, a little more theology, and parenting…I have declared myself the Most Random Blog on the Block. It is true. You may never know what random thought I will put out there. I know I have a lot more thoughts to put out there than actually make it.

I had the joy of meeting a blogging friend in person! That was a treat and a great cyber friendship has been formed!

Analyzing my posts, I found it hilarious that some one actually googled “Jesus shaped bacon” and my blog was the link that popped up. The top 5 posts that receive “hits” are:

Serve My Husband or Throw Away My Bible

What is love?

DIY Toddler Chore Chart

Turtle-Shaped Bacon Cheeseburgers Make Me Sick

Righteous Judgment

I must say…I love it. Whether I have 1 reader or 50…it remains an extension of the writing outlet I have used since I was 9 years old. This is what I do for me…and sometimes without ever knowing it God may touch someone by using my words. More than anything I appreciate all the thoughtful comments and emails I get from my readers. Those messages serve as a reminder to me that God works in ways I would never imagine.

P.S. It took me an ETERNITY to link all those posts…so you had better click on at least one! Grrrr!

The Piece That Holds It All Together

2010-10-18T08:35:00.000-04:00

The past couple of weeks I have painted a picture of order and peace with a splash of beauty. I have shared the way I manage to accomplish things and why I think order is such a necessity in family life. However, as I finish off this series of post, I must add the most important part… the awareness that no home is the same, no situation is the same, and no mom personality is the same. For a good look at different personalities, check out A Slob Comes Clean; this is a recent find of mine that I love…she has a great way of keeping things real and in perspective for the anti-procrastinating, neat freak type like me.

I was also reminded of how different situations can be as I spoke with my very pregnant friend a few weeks back. She has three times the amount of children I do and her husband leaves very early and comes home a little later because of his drive to work. As I spoke of my little orderly world, she reminded me of exactly how blessed I am on a day-to-day basis because of one reason.

See, I have something some of you may not have…it’s that guy we refer to as “Nate” on this blog. Without him, the order and peace would be a lot harder. First and foremost, he supports what I do as a homemaker. He lifts me up and praises me. He makes my life easier by usually having a pleasant and supportive attitude. He gives me that support because he believes as much as I do that home is where the wife and mother belong.

Nate also has a little awareness of how weary a mom can get doing the tasks of the homemaker…especially when you add in godly character training for the children. We see him most every day for lunch. After work and on the weekends, he doesn’t go off with his buddies frolicking like so many other men. He is home with us because this is what makes him happy. He doesn’t want to miss his children grow into adults; he wants to be there for it all. He even once said, “I can’t wait to come home every day.” And not only is he home, he is involved.

After dinner, when most moms have the entire load of kitchen and baths and bedtime to handle, Nate is there with me. Every single night I can count on him to give the babies their baths and entertain them before bed…which leaves me time to clean the kitchen and pick up the house from the busy evening. Because of that consistency, every night from 6:00- 7:30PM, our children know that Dad and Mom will be spending family time with them. And Mom knows that everything will be taken care of before bedtime, so I can just relax and have fun.

I know that without him, maintaining my vision for a godly home would be a lot harder. My patience would be thinner and I would grow much wearier. So all that order and peace, he is what holds it all together…or maybe he’s just what holds me all together.

The Home Series

Order in the Home

A Taste of Home

Why Order Is Important

The Piece That Holds It All Together- this post!

Why Order Is Important

2010-10-13T08:00:00.005-04:00

“…that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” Titus 2: 4-5

“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1

Growing up and several years into womanhood, homemaking was not on my agenda. Even as a Christian, I did not understand this was God’s role for me in His plan. I still receive chuckles from old friends and family when they see who I am now compared to what I was then. I believe more than anything, it saddens me at all the years I wasted peddling my time to trivial matters of the world when I could have been working on my calling based on God’s Word. But, my excuse…nobody told me!

I see young ladies all around me preparing for marriage with no knowledge of how to care for a home and family. They are in the same situation I was in and sometimes worse. Because I lived on my own for several years before marriage, I at least knew how to care for a home and a few basic meals. At a very early age I learned the responsibilities of housework because my both my parents were away working. But there is something much different between checking off the to-do list and putting your heart and soul into a home for the glory of God. “If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter 4:11. The word “minister” means “to serve.” As I serve my husband and children daily, my prayer each day and each night is that God be glorified in the work of my hands.

So, what does all this have to do with order and calmness? Well, I imagine our life without order. I imagine our life where the children make their own schedules and run free with no obedience or boundaries. I imagine that the work I do, if any, is immediately done in vain as my children run about with no instruction or understanding of what is acceptable behavior. I imagine that because of this, I become stressed. Not only do I become irritated by the building chaos but also I snap and yell at my children. My husband comes home from a hard day at work to clutter and disorganization. He must wait on his dinner. In his hunger and frustration from a hard day, he becomes irritated because now it is up to him to try to gain control. He becomes angry with me for not maintaining control and of course, my response to him is one of harshness and not love. I believe I may have just described most homes in America…with or without fathers.

However, this is not the vision God has for us. God calls us wives to allow our husbands to see our beauty inside… “rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:4. The above scenario does not lean towards a quiet and gentle spirit, at least for me it does not.

Order, calmness, and routine in our home and with our children allow us to have peace in a chaotic world. When husbands and wives, fathers and sons, and daughters and mothers are turning against each other…let us turn towards each other. (Malachi 4:6) I challenge you to follow God’s plan and lay down your own needs and frustrations and serve your family with the joy of the Lord.

The Home Series

Order in the Home

A Taste of Home

Why Order Is Important

The Piece That Holds It All Together- upcoming

A Little Taste of Home

2010-10-11T08:00:00.007-04:00

Come with me and take a walk inside…let me share with you some of my favorite things about our home. This is post 3 in The Home Series. As you will see, I adore cozy and country. So, grab some sweet iced tea and come on…

These are two views of my all time favorite room.

This room is usually toy free…it is where we enjoy our meals and can sit with no distractions. The low lighting of the lamps are perfect for cozy.

I believe fresh flowers are wonderful and I don’t put them out enough. So, ladies, next time you make a trip to the store…treat yourself to a fresh bouquet. It will really add freshness to the room.

Nothing says country like an embroidered pillow thrown in an old chair…

I also like to change up my decor with the seasons…

This is our Wedding Sampler located in our bedroom…Genesis 2:24. Hanging below is an antique towel rack I use for my necklaces.

So, there is a taste of some of my favorites. What do you like about your own home? We spend our days worrying about what is not right. Take today to think about the things you love and what God has blessed you with in your home.

The Home Series

Order in the Home

A Taste of Home- This post!

Why Order Is Important- upcoming

The Piece That Holds It All Together- upcoming

Order In the Home

2010-10-06T08:00:00.005-04:00

I hope since my last post you had a chance to check out Fly Lady. My home was never in CHAOS (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome). But Fly Lady’s routines were right up my alley. I love schedule and routine. Since having children, there have been a little fewer schedules and a lot more routine. I believe routine is pertinent for the development of anything, but flexibility is just as important for our mental sanity. (That’s another post for another day.) My purpose today is to talk about how we can handle our weekly chores.

Explaining weekly chores requires a little bit of explanation about our day. It is very important for Mommy, especially Stay at Home Mommy to be up and at it before anyone else in the house. (If not, Mommy may not get a shower…I know we’ve all been there. And please don’t forget to brush your teeth.) On an ideal day, my day starts between 5:30 and 6:00. I use this time to shower and get myself ready, clean my bathroom, iron Big Daddy’s clothes for the day, and make my bed. On my better days this is when I exercise or read for the day.

I have a few chores that I complete daily. Obviously, staying home means dear ol’ kitchen is cleaned around three times a day. Other daily chores include kitty litter, sweeping the wood floors, and whatever Fly Lady Zone I’m working in. (The daily chore from Fly Lady divides your home into zones. You work on one zone per week leaving no need for spring-cleaning. This coming week we’ll be in the kitchen.) Another daily thing for any mommy wanting to keep her home clear of clutter is a pick-up. Often pick-ups seem overwhelming but if everything has a place this should only take 5-10 minutes. I usually do this twice a day. Once in the morning and once before the kids go to bed while they are doing toy pick up. I also try to do small pick ups throughout the day just to maintain some kind of control.

Now to those pesky weekly chores, this is what my weekly chores look like:

I can’t imagine trying to do all my chores in one day with two toddlers. I remember my mom worked and we usually had a cleaning day. That was when I was older and there was only one child. I know for me things changed a lot from even one to two. I also can’t imagine what it will be like as our toddler and preschool world grows. I do know without some sort of routine, CHAOS will wreak havoc.

I try to finish all my daily and weekly chores by 9:30 and 10:00AM so that I am available for my babies…the real reason I’m present in this home. Besides, with potty breaks, diaper changes, meals, and squabbles…I really don’t have time for housework to be in my way!

I really hope this is as informational, (and maybe even a little inspirational), as I want it to be. I believe we can all have more peace when there is order around us. There are more posts to come, including the favorite things about my home, why I think order is important, and maybe even…my least favorite things about my home. I know many of you mommies are a few years ahead of me on this game…so, please, any tips you would like to share would be great! Let me know if you have any other ideas or questions about having a clean and quiet home.

The Home Series

Order in the Home- This post!

A Taste of Home- upcoming

Why Order Is Important- upcoming

The Piece That Holds It All Together- upcoming

The Home Series

2010-10-04T08:00:00.006-04:00

The vision I have for my home is one of calm and control…two things that have not been in existence for almost a month now…let me quote a recent Facebook status: “After a month of birthdays, a funeral 2 3-day trips, two rounds of a weeks worth of poo, a yard sale, and changing out closets for the season... I’ve made an attempt to get this house under some kind of control. After replacing an entire shelf of books back on the book shelf, I walked over a container of dumped out crayons, passed a bowl of cheerios dumped in the kitchen floor, made myself a warm beverage and for the first time sent my kids to their rooms and said, I need a minute.” Because I did, I needed a minute. I needed an hour…or two. I wanted someone to just come get them so I could get this place back to a clean slate. I seriously almost started crying when J.J. sat down, dumped the Cheerios in the floor, and in the back ground I heard Lily wanting me to change her shirt because she dropped yogurt on it.

Today…I have found peace in a clean home. And I have decided with the beginning of my favorite season and the month of October, I will share a little taste of home. How do things work around here? What are some of my favorite things about home? Why do I think calm and control are so important?

Along with this little series of posts, I’m going to do a Daily Do on my Facebook page for one week…not on a blog page but that little Facebook badge down there on your right. If you are not already, “friend” me to get the “To Do’s.”

The list of chores I give you will help put you ahead where you will never have to spring clean your home! Each day you will do something small to get yourself a step ahead of the game. Several months ago I became acquainted with FlyLady. It didn’t take long for her 20 trillion emails to overwhelm my account and I signed off. I believe I have found a method that will help calm the email chaos and want to share the love with you. I’ll handle the emails and will post my daily “To Do’s” for you so you don’t have to check it out. Rather than using the email method, following FlyLady on Twitter or Facebook allows you to choose what you want to read without taking too much time and space with your email account.

I do suggest checking out FlyLady to learn about shining your sink and 15 minute clean ups.

I look forward to getting a handle on all the messes with you! Stay tuned for my upcoming post about how I handle daily and weekly chores.

The Home Series - This post

Order in the Home- upcoming

A Taste of Home- upcoming

Why Order Is Important- upcoming

The Piece That Holds It All Together- upcoming

Papaw Sneed: One of the Lord’s giants

2010-09-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

As we drove into Athens for my papaw’s funeral on Wednesday, I told Nate about what came to my mind when I thought of him. Papaw Sneed to me was overalls, circus peanuts, chap stick, and chewing tobacco. It’s amazing the things you learn about the one’s you love when they are gone.

I knew he was a preacher back in the day. I didn’t know it was for 51 years. I knew he loved the lake and stayed there every summer. I didn’t know he liked to have his feet rubbed. I knew he was married to my mamaw for 64 years. I didn’t know how sweet they were with each other until I saw her kiss him and clean his face while he was in the hospital that last week. I knew he loved his family. I didn’t know he loved us so much he would recognize each one of us on his death bed. (And there are a lot of us!)

Papaw Sneed is one of those people in my life that I wished I could have been around more…that I wished I could have talked to more…that I wish I could have loved more.

As he laid there peacefully in his overalls with a Bible in his hands, I had to agree with the man giving the message that night…he was one of the Lord’s giants…

Marion Alfred “Bo” Sneed

November 20. 1929- September 6, 2010

Lily turns 3!

2010-09-10T09:00:00.000-04:00

My little angel has turned three! I remember the days when she was a small baby and I couldn’t wait to have a toddler that spoke to me and walked with me. Some days, I can’t even remember that little baby…even though it by no means seems like she has been with us for three years. If you will recall, JJ wasn’t exactly the most peaceful addition to our lives. Lily, however, was just the opposite.

Lily is calm and sweet. It is only those that she loves the most that can calm her tears and her fears. Nate likes to refer to her as my little clone. I believe it is because she picked up those qualities of mine that drives him the most crazy. She doesn’t like to be tickled…except by her mommy. She really isn’t affectionate…except when she wants to be. And much to my dismay, she has my tone of voice and the ability to look at you like you are the dumbest person on Earth. Since the age of 2 ½, I have come to believe that God gave me Lily as a mirror to remind of who I am…to remind me of the life I am shaping and therefore, how much I need to work on me.

Just the other day, we were discussing how much she is like me. And I thought what an awesome gift to see what that sweet spirit can be when it is nurtured and protected by the hard things in life. From day one, she was the one I wanted to protect. She was the one I shielded from everyone else. I wouldn’t allow anyone to harm her. (Especially all those nut jobs that had already raised kids…because God knows they don’t know what they were doing. I read it in a book; I knew a little more than they did.) And this very day, I still stand protecting her. I will until I know she doesn’t need it anymore.

Lily had an interesting birthday. She attended her great grandfather’s funeral and luckily met her aunt and two first cousins for the first time ever. And after all that …we got our party on!

Turtle-shaped bacon cheeseburgers make me sick…

2010-08-09T08:00:00.001-04:00

Things sure look different around here the last two weeks. In case you missed the hint, baby #3 is on the way. Momma has gone from excited to feeling like poo. And may I add Resolution #6 didn’t happen. I find my husband cleaning up the dinner dishes and preparing meals when he is home. He does whatever it takes to lighten my load. He has been amazing and his take is… “We can’t let happen what happened last time.” You can read about that briefly HERE.

Mere weeks ago seem like an eternity…the days when I was proclaiming God had control of my womb. (Well, at least to #4.) Now, I’m looking at Nate saying, “I can’t do this again.” So now begins the battle of my will over conviction. I spend my days thinking about whether I truly have a conviction. I ask myself, “Is there anything wrong with stopping?” And in my head, the reply I get is, “Are you trusting God?” The best advice I have received is from my friend, mother of 5 boys. She says just “take it one baby at a time.” And today, that’s what I am doing.

I have reaffirmed my knowledge of how much people, even Christians, really just don’t care for children. Oh sure, they say they do…but when you get past one or two they go from a blessing to a burden in most people’s minds. I first came to this knowledge when Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar came out a few years back; I think they were only on number 17 then! I caught the show and adored this family. They had an unbelievable love for God, great family function, and awesome work ethic. I thought they were amazing. And then I realized I was alone. People, again, even Christians, can’t stand the Duggars. Why? Basically, they are disliked because they have no business having that many children…and that’s it. Never mind their obvious love and devotion to their Christian faith. Never mind these are brothers and sisters in Christ. Never mind that’s it is nobody’s business how many kids ANYONE has. And never mind that before those children were formed in their mother’s womb, our God knew them.

So, with mere baby #3, I get to face the culture against life. Here is what I have received:

You have got to be kidding me? I thought you did something to have that fixed.

No. Noooo. Oh well.

You are on your way to be Kate Plus 8.

You are on your way to a reality show.

They’ve got to get out of that church before they have too many babies!

You’re going to be like those Amish people if you don’t learn what birth control is!

And everybody’s favorite, Don’t you know what causes that?! (Which to my response has become…look them in the eye and dead serious say, “No, we can not figure out what keeps causing this!)

When did having more than two children become such a bad thing? Why do people feel compelled to explain how having two children is so much better than more? From what I’ve gathered the answer is self. People value their stuff and their own time more than they do having babies. I read a great article recently on how we multiply what we value. And how true it is. Our culture is all about increasing our bank accounts, our houses, our cars, and other treasures…and more children just might get in the way of that. People view children as a burden to the enjoyment of their own life. (And what’s that Bible verse my blog is based around?)

Christian families having unknowingly fell into the culture against life. Instead of rejoicing at another Christian family’s decision to increase the kingdom of God, they ostracize those that find joy in having children. In doing so, they deny the Word of God. They deny that a man is blessed whose quiver is full. (Psalms 127) If we believe God’s Word that children are a reward and the best gift besides grace He could give us, why wouldn’t we want more?

As I walked down the hall with my precious Jay yesterday, I gave him a sweet kiss and thought to myself, I could do this hundred more times…if I just didn’t have to be pregnant! The thought of it makes me nauseous…but then again, everything makes me nauseous right now….especially turtle-shaped bacon cheeseburgers.

I’m not very political…BUT…

2010-07-29T07:25:00.000-04:00

Over the past ~~few weeks~~ several years, I have become accustomed to the notion that Christians will be persecuted and our religious rights will be gradually taken away. I am reminded daily by the posts of my liberal friends on Facebook of the challenges we face being declared “ignorant” by the masses. Within the last week, I have been reminded of this and one question stays in my mind…

It all started as I was browsing Fox News on my mobile. I came across this article about Jennifer Keeton in Georgia. Ms. Keeton is currently obtaining her Masters in counseling at Augusta State University. What you find in the article is that Ms. Keeton will “be dismissed from the program unless she alters her ‘central religious beliefs on human nature and conduct.’” Find out more about the lawsuit at the linked website.

Later the same day, a friend posted a video and a local TV station did a bit on Lt. Governor Ron Ramsey. Apparently, Lt. Governor Ramsey did what most politicians are bound to do and say completely the wrong thing. He made a comment about his questioning of whether being a Muslim was more about religion or nationality. He even referred to the religion as a "cult." Of course, the liberal media runs wild with it and now the Lt. Governor is a bigot. When in reality, there may be a little more to the story. Maybe the man does have a point that Muslim extremist are violent.

And then we have the local news. Our local Juvenile Court Judge has started a “campaign,” if you will, to place a series of plaques in our new justice center. The plaques would include the Mayflower Compact, the Declaration of Independence, Ten Commandments, Magna Carta, Star Spangled Banner, National Motto, Preamble to the Tennessee Constitution, Bill of Rights, Picture of Lady Justice, Benjamin Franklin’ epitaph, George Washington’s inaugural address and prayer at Valley Forge, National Pledge, Tennessee House Resolution 0815, and Tennessee Senate Resolution 0158. (Whew, that was a mouth full! I got bored just writing it…sorry you had to read it!) Check all of this information out at his website HERE.

Anyways, a group from Wisconsin. Yes, WISCONSIN, has written a letter to our county commissioners with concern about the Foundations Display. The group is the Freedom From Religion Foundation. Judge Taylor says there is a legal standing for the Foundation Display to be in the courthouse. The FFRF feels the display is unconstitutional.

But all of this leads back to my initial question, when did protecting one’s freedom FROM religion hinder our freedom OF religion? I mean, seriously; someone, somewhere thinks this Foundations Display is going to cause a bloody civil war? A radical Muslim is more protected in the United States of America than a Christian wanting to protect our heritage and our freedoms. And our national motto is “in God we trust.” I guess the next question would be, which god?

To My Beloved Boss

2010-07-19T08:00:00.002-04:00

For your birthday, what better form of expression than publicly announcing my love for you? (And you say I’m not affectionate. Psfft!) I have so much to be thankful for as we celebrate another day together. Our marriage is yet another sign of God’s grace on His children. I am often times so undeserving of your love and yet you continue to be an amazing husband and father.

Thank you for being my companion. Thank you for being my best friend…my ear when I need to talk…my shoulder when I need to cry. My guide when I am on the wrong path. The one who reminds me when I forget who I am without Christ. Thank you for coming home every night to your family. Thank you for always wanting to hug me even when I don’t want to hug back. Thank you for always giving the kids a bath so I clean the kitchen. Thank you for going to work every day and providing for our family. Thank you for being the security that I have longed for my entire life. Thank you for always bringing me drinks at nighttime when I am exhausted and just want to kick up my feet. Thank you for calling me during the day so I always know we are on your mind. And most of all thank you for humbly leading our home.

On your birthday, you should be receiving all the gifts…but is us who is blessed most of all. We love you…(all four of us!)

Where you die, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part you and me. Ruth 1:17

The First to Break My Heart

2010-07-15T08:00:00.001-04:00

You were the first man to ever break my heart. I’ve spent years trying to learn how to let go of you, but only end up clinging to you with all I have. I know if I let go, than you’re probably gone. I’ve seen you walk away too many times to think otherwise.

When I was a little girl your presence could light up my world. As I grew older, how I longed for you to smile at me and with me. I lived each and every day in denial. In my world there was hope that you were the person who loved me just as much as I wanted you to. Now as an adult, I still fight to let go of the person who is not there…and never was. My hope in you will not fade no matter how many times you break my heart.

It wasn’t long before our roles reversed. Instead of the king embracing the princess, the princess had to carry the king. Each and every time you fall, I am the first there to pick you up. And no matter how far I carry you, I am just an inch short of what you want and it is all in vain.

I am thirty-one now and you are still breaking my heart. My children have seen me cry and sob too many times when you have hurt me. As I try again to contemplate letting go, I ask my prince if I will have to deal with the pain the rest of my life? Will the heartache of not having you although you are alive ever go away?

The children are in the next room playing as I stand at the sink and clean up from lunch. They don’t hear me as I turn my back to the sink and bury my face into a towel and just sob because I hurt so much. I return to the sink and the sound of a little voice catches my attention. I look up to see two faces in the other room looking at me. “What’s wrong, Mommy?”

“It’s OK, Baby. Somebody just hurt Mommy’s heart.”

And she says, “Oh. You want to play cards, Mommy?”

“Of course, I do.”

The pain may never go away and this may be a battle I fight until you are gone. But, I have my own prince and princess now. And there is a King in my life that will never forsake me. And my hope in Him will get me through this.

Perfect No Bake Cookies

2010-07-12T11:16:00.003-04:00

I have loved cow patties for as long as I can remember. What I found to be the greatest difficulty is getting them to just the right consistency. A few months back I realized cow patties, a.k.a., No Bake Cookies, were my gift to the world. I finally found the perfect recipe that didn’t end with me eating them with a spoon. These are perfect for a quick treat or a special little gift. I’ve shared them with neighbors. I even paired some with my father-in-law’s favorite coffee for a Father’s Day gift. Here is the recipe for a batch of 12.

Boil in a pot on medium heat:

1 cup of sugar

½ stick or 4 Tbs of butter/margarine

¼ cup of evaporated milk

2 Tbs of cocoa

Once the above comes to a boil allow it to boil for 2 minutes: NO LESS, NO MORE…this completely affects the consistency.

Once you take it off the stove, add in:

½ cup of OFF-BRAND peanut butter (name brand peanut butter is too smooth.)

¾ cup of whole oats

½ tsp of vanilla

And that my dear…is the secret to Perfect No Bake Cookies. (Oh…and let them sit for a few minutes so they can settle.)

Doubting Michelle

2010-07-08T14:49:00.004-04:00

My heart aches and I feel like David calling out to God through his psalms. I am at such a loss as to why in one “religion” there can be so many views and so many ways. I get so caught up sometimes in knowing Truth that at the end of the day I just want to throw up my hands and say, “I quit!”

As I sat here today and cried and prayed, I realized my heart and soul does not long for God for my own salvation but to know Him. I just simply want to know who He is. And on days like today, I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and going nowhere. The moment I feel like I’m gaining traction, I slam into yet another wall.

I see facades of Christianity all around me. I see people that have walked the same path for years never questioning why they are on the road they are on…even if it’s the path that leads to destruction. I hear and see of this supernatural spirituality that just does not happen to me or seem real to me. I beg God to open my eyes and to let me see Him.

I just want to give up. I want to close The Book and walk away. But then I try to imagine my life without Him, and I realize without Him it would all fall apart. As I cry out to Him in prayer, He calls back in my mind and says, “There is a way that seems right to man…” And then it’s gone. I have to literally look the scripture up to see if it is scripture. “There is a way that seems right to man, But its end is the way of death.” Proverbs 16:25.

I have no idea why this scripture came to mind during this time of prayer. I have never memorized this scripture; and for that matter, God has never really spoke to me this way. And as I sit here writing this, I think maybe it is God’s way of telling me I’m relying more on man than God to get me to the right path...

DIY Toddler Chore Chart

2010-06-21T08:00:00.001-04:00

When you have two children or less, I am not really sure a chore chart is a must for your toddler. I, on the other hand, need ~~want~~ it. I like to be ahead of the game. I never really knew what I was doing until Amy at Raising Arrows pointed it out. I was reading away at her blog one day and said, “Hey, that’s exactly what I do!” It’s about adopting a large family mentality without a large family. I would, however, be abundantly pleased if God decided to bless me with a few more little bundles of joy. But, in the meantime, I like to be organized and on top of the game should any surprises arrive. I have always adored the way large families function. It is truly amazing! They can flow and roll. (I just coined a new saying.) Now, I understand ALL large families are not like this, but most are close. I love the organization of large families. I love the character building that comes with being part of a large family. I love how you have to learn to live with what you have. OK! Enough of why I love large families! We’re talking about a DIY Toddler Chore Chart here. We have a routine in the mornings and evenings and sometimes I can easily get interrupted and forget something or let something important slip away. For example, I have a horrible time remembering to brush the teeth of the little ones in the morning. (I’ve been lucky some days to brush my own!) I knew I wanted Lily to start chores at an early age, so I thought, “What better time to create a chore chart!” As she gets older, more responsibilities will be added and eventually she will graduate to a more mature chore chart.

What you need:

Poster board

Sticky Back Velcro ™

Graphics for your “chores”

List of Chores Printed (Large Font)

Marker

Ruler

Scissors

Step 1: Locate the graphics you would like to illustrate the chore for your toddler. I found mine online and even used some from Microsoft Word Online Clip-Art.

Step 2: Print the graphics. Cut to size (1 x 1) and place on the back of one side of the Velcro.

Step 3: On your poster board, use your ruler to draw straight rows for the number of chores you have to be completed. Create 3 columns: 1. Chore, 2. Not Completed, 3. Finished!

Step 4: Cut the chores you listed and glue them onto each row of the first column.

Step 5: Glue chore graphics to 1 x 1 pieces of poster board. Place one side of the Velcro Sticky Back to the graphic piece.

Step 6: Place the “matching” Velcro tabs in Column 2 and Column 3 across each row. (Be sure that both of these are the same and match up with the chore graphics backing you completed on Step 5).

***Here is the idea. Your toddler begins her day with all of her chores in the “Not Completed” column. As your toddler completes a chore, she gets to move her completed chore to the “Finished” column. I did both a Morning Chore Chart and an Evening Chore Chart. If you do this, it’s a good idea to print your graphics and the list of your chores twice, as some things will repeat.

Our AM chores:

Potty time

Clean room

Breakfast

Clean up (Lily’s job is to help clear and wipe the table)

Brush teeth

Bible Time and Prayer

Clean Room

Our PM chores:

Bath time

Brush teeth

Pick up toys

Bible and prayer time

Warning: Strategic location is important when having a 14 month old child in the home.

I declare my full guilt

2010-06-17T07:45:00.001-04:00

I was reading earlier this week about a local politician involved in some legal and financial problems. Our family is acquainted with the man as he is quite involved in our neighborhood. Therefore, I had some personal interest in the story. Apparently, this individual took what is called the Alford Plea. An Alford Plea involves the person declaring his innocence but acknowledging the facts and evidence surrounding the case are enough for a judge and jury to declare the person’s guilt. The person will admit to some of the evidence in the case, but not to the act of the crime.

This was interesting to me as I had not heard of such a plea prior to this article. Upon pondering the situation at hand, I couldn’t help but think of how this relates to many Christians today. How many self-professing Christians actually understand the guilt of their trespass against God? How many have ever been broken over their sin? How many think they are pretty good people?

It’s almost as if they take the plea that says, “I know the evidence is against me, but because I’m a good person I still declare my innocence.” They are told their whole lives the story of God’s grace and their need for a Savior, but are never quite convinced the story is for them. Besides, they don’t drink…or have affairs…or murder or rape…or lie and steal. It’s as if they admit to the evidence of imperfection, but not to the crime of having a depraved nature.

With this lack of acknowledgment, the person may almost completely miss the gift of grace. Without the breaking conviction of sin, one does not realize the urgency of his need for Christ.

Let us examine ourselves to see that we have understanding of exactly why we need Him. Let us not be the men who say, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?” (Matthew 7:22) Let us understand our guilt before a righteous Judge. Let us deny our innocence and declare our wretchedness. Only when we come to this point will His righteousness be imputed to us.

I need 32, 000 soldiers…

2010-06-14T08:00:00.002-04:00

Have you ever wondered why you just can’t get it all together? I mean, why are there always more things to check off the to-do list? The house is never clean enough. The lawn always needs mowed. There is that other load of laundry that needs to be washed and for that matter, all the laundry needs to be put away. Nate’s clothes need to be pressed on Fridays. I need to run, too. And more importantly, am I in the Word enough? Have I prayed with the children today? Am I being consistent with the discipleship they need? Oh wait, I was reminded today that my child’s behavior might be a reflection of my behavior. Am I respecting and submitting to my husband the way I should to be an example for them?
I have this vision of the “Perfect Mom.” You know, the one whose home is immaculate with a side of fresh chicken salad and fresh baked bread for company that might pop in. The one who just baked extra food for Sister So-and-So because she is having a rough time with this pregnancy. It is a vision of the mother whose children follow like ducklings at the very sound of her soft, gentle voice. It is the one who knows when her neighbor is in need and is there to provide whatever she can to be a witness for His kingdom. I think it’s the vision of the woman found in Proverbs 31. I’m pretty sure that’s her. Have you seen her, too?
As I have this vision I’m reminded of Gideon and the Midianites. Gideon was prepared and ready for war with his 32, 000 soldiers; but God said, “No.” God said that was too many people. Why? “…lest Israel claim glory for itself against Me, saying, ‘My own hand has saved me.’” God weeded them out, all the way down to 300. That’s a big difference there Gideon.
And that is when the light shines through. I’m just beginning this journey of true biblical womanhood. If God allowed me to be “perfect” without tribulation, affliction, and trials, it would be so easy for the root of pride to neglect God’s grace and to take the credit and glory for what “I” have accomplished. I remember when I was pregnant with Lily and I professed to my family my desire for four children. My mother commented that I would never have four children because I couldn’t handle it. My sinful pride thought, “Well, I’ll show her.” At the time, my desire for four children was more so I could have a big kitchen table. God, however, changed that desire from four children around a kitchen table to a desire to create an army for Him. And you know what else He changed? I realized my mother was right! I can’t handle it by myself. But praise God that through Him and by Him I can! I may not be the “perfect” mom, but by His grace I will fold each sock, dry each dish, kiss each boo-boo, and hug my husband for His glory and His glory alone.

“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Shepherding a Child's Heart

2010-06-10T08:00:00.000-04:00

I recently finished reading Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp. (Well, the last chapters were on Training Objectives and Procedures for childhood and teens. I did not read those but skimmed them. I’m in a different area right now and will be for a while.) I first heard of this book when a blogging friend did a review on a parenting seminar completed by Tripp. Some personal friends then recommended the book and I realized I should check it out.

I have to say, although there were several, several things in the book I adore; overall I was left a little unimpressed. (Let me add, I read the original print of 1995, the book was edited and revised in 2005. I verified some things have been taken out and some added.) Since Lily was born God has moved our parenting vision from one of a “well-behaved child” to a vision of godly parenting. Tripp addresses this issue beautifully in the first part of the book. The concept is that what is in the heart is what flows out of the heart. (Proverbs 4:23) In other words, what is in the heart is what determines behavior. He focuses on the sinfulness of our hearts from birth. Biblically speaking, he points out that everyone is essentially “religious.” (Romans 1:18-19) We either worship the one true God, or we worship idols. Our goal as parents should be to teach our children about God’s ways and truth and to pray that God will reveal Himself to them and eventually change their heart towards Him.

Tripp communicated very well that the chief goal is “to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” (He takes this from the Westminster Shorter Catechism…that I know because it’s the only one I have memorized.) When our goals are focused on athletics, social skills, well-behaved children, education, or even “saved” children, we have to examine if these are leading us away from glorifying God. (“Saved children” may raise a few eyebrows but his point is just because God has changed your child’s heart does not mean there is no work to do as a parent.)

My favorite part of the book is probably what Tripp has to say about communication. Communication is expanded from mere rules, correction, and discipline to encouragement, correction, rebuke, instruction, warning, teaching, admonition, showing the “benefits,” and obedience. All of these forms of communication are used at different points depending on the situation.

Now, this is long enough and I want to get to the points I didn’t like. I believe Tripp has a view on discipline that we, Nate and I, agree with. Basically, if the child hasn’t obeyed the first time, discipline is required. More importantly, God is the offended when a child fails to obey, not the parent. (Ephesians 6:1) While speaking during discipline, we have spoke of the offense to God but I believe we sometimes take it more personal and are more upset that the child offended us than that she offended God. We agree with Tripp that the early years are the most important for teaching obedience. We agree that children need to learn they are under authority given by God.

However, under Tripp’s section “Objection to the Rod” in Chapter 11, he goes a little too far for us. He goes over being discreet in physical discipline because some people disagree and you basically run the chance of being called into the authorities. He mentions an incident when one of his children had been in need of “much discipline” and had a doctor’s appointment. The child’s bottom was "black and blue"and they had a “sensible” doctor that knew bruising in the appropriate locality was not a sign of child abuse. As I have mentioned before, I previously worked for Child Protective Services and remain and advocate for abused and neglected children through CASA. Bruising is completely unacceptable due to spanking. There is no reason for a person to hit a child hard enough to bruise them. Now, let me add, Tripp is huge advocate for using controlled discipline. I, however, do not believe that under controlled discipline that you will bruise a child’s bottom. I do not necessarily believe that a bruised child is an abused child; I just find it unacceptable.

Tripp also made a comment that if an 8 month old is in need of discipline then it is due. My experience as a parent is that although an 8 month old is curious and possibly defiant, defiance is not really comprehended. I tend to lean more towards Dr. James Dobson’s view on the matter in The New Strong-Willed Child that a child should not be spanked until the ages of 15-18 months. (Note: I do not have a strong willed child, I read this book before Lily was 3 months old.) Dr. Dobson includes a study completed by the American Academy of Pediatrics in or around 1995 supporting the use of corporal punishment. The article includes information on age appropriate corporal punishment.

So, I would recommend the book to have a better understanding of shepherding your child’s heart through biblical communication, which I think is very important. I would also recommend visiting Kimberly at Raising Olives and read her series on Your Child’s Heart.

Our First School Lesson

2010-06-07T06:45:00.000-04:00

****Our family has a vision to home educate our children. I want to share our journey, thoughts, ideas, trials, errors, and successes. I will be adding a new side bar with links to homeschooling posts. I don’t believe this is the time to start a new blog so I will utilize Finding Michelle to share with you on this expedition. And like all things on Finding Michelle…this may last, it may not. My blogging life revolves around my faithfulness to my husband and children first and foremost.****

Lily really wants to ride a bus. And she also really wants to go to school with her 5-year-old cousins. Sometimes the bus thing pulls at my heartstrings a little bit since I know she will probably never go to a public school unless God has other plans. It pulls at my heartstrings, but not enough to become a Halloween Hypocrite all over. We’re just hoping Daddy can hook us up with a field trip ride on a bus.

This morning while in town Lily saw a bus and once again we spoke about her desire to go to school with her cousins. I explained that Daddy and Mommy felt that God’s desire was for them to teach her instead of sending her to school. She wanted to know what her cousins did in school and I explained that they learn about numbers, letters, shapes, and colors in school. I told her if she wanted we could go ahead and start school with her. Later in the car ride she spoke up and said she wanted to “do school” and when asked what she wanted to learn about, her answer was… “God.” (Reason #1 to homeschool, we can learn about God anytime!)

So, today when J.J. went down for a morning nap, Lily and I spent time “schooling.” Of course, the only difference between this and any other day of our life, I told her it was school. I have adopted the philosophy you homeschool your children from the time they are born. They learn simply though living. Some parents choose to do preschool curriculum. We believe we can teach them everything they need to know in preschool and probably through kindergarten virtually free.

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Our first lesson today was on colors. I was aware she basically knew her colors, but this was really a great illustration for me to see just how much she knew. I equipped myself with a role of pennies and Lily with a small purse we got out of a kids meal. We decided to venture off in search of colors. The first few questions consisted of me asking Lily to find something a specific color. As we went on, she pointed to things and told me what color they were. She did a great job and earned 26 coins for her bag! After all the color finding, we counted the coins and she put them in her piggy bank to add to the money she is saving to buy a horse. And finally, we took time to pray and thank God for all the wonderful colors He has blessed us with.

What a great day of school and it only costs me 26 cents!

Announcements and a James Soles CD Giveaway

2010-06-04T13:38:00.001-04:00

I decided to take some time to announce some changes to Finding Michelle. Well, really not some changes, a change. I’m going to make an attempt to post at least twice a week on Monday and Thursday. I have finally decided there is too much I want to “journal” and I’m missing all sorts by not taking the time to let my creative juices flow. I’ve got some posts on back up and I’m going to try to stay ahead this time!

I’m pleased to say that as I write this…Nate and I will be having our first overnight date in THREE years! We are both so excited. So, this is contributing to Number 10, but I guess only God knows if it will interfere with Number 6! ;)

Just FYI: Kimberly at Raising Olives is having an awesome give away for a Jamie Soles CD. If you haven’t listened, check him out. I have had the opportunity to listen to some samples and really enjoy what I hear. Go over and visit Kimberly. Stay awhile and you’ll see the hand the of God in their lives.

Have a great weekend and see you on Monday!

Resolution #5: Check

2010-05-31T20:45:00.001-04:00

After one and a half months of training, our Memorial Day morning was spent running an 8K-road race…in the sun and the rain. Number 5 has been accomplished and two weeks earlier than expected!

After two weeks of what felt like near pneumonia, I managed to run right into the finish line at 51:00 minutes. (This is two or three minutes LESS than what I expected!) I came in about 10 minutes after my darling husband had crossed the line. Somehow, someway, I placed third in my age division with Nate finishing second. AND…we won a Last Will and Testament from a local attorney as a door prize!

We’ll be running two races each in July. Run! Run! Run!

What you missed at 6AM...

2010-05-15T08:23:00.002-04:00

When my feet not so reluctantly hit the pavement at 6:04 this morning, I didn’t realize what all you were missing while I was running. I had so many observations that the run became rather mentally refreshing.

As I started I noticed it was kind of cool and pretty foggy outside. My earlier 2-mile runs this week were rough so I jogged easily as I knew this would be a long run. (When I say long run, I’m speaking mentally not distance.) My mind always wanders while I’m running and my goal is to keep it away from how much more I have to run before I can stop.

This morning I observed the sun rise. I observed the birds gathering food and heard their beautiful song. I smelled honeysuckle. I heard the dogs barking at me and hence I surely woke up the neighbors. I heard a cow giving birth…at least that’s what I’m assuming it was…it was quite strange.

I realized I wanted to change my weekly runs to morning runs…it’s too perfect not to. I realized at a 10:30 or 11:00 minute pace I could run forever. I realized thinking about writing is better than thinking about running when you run.

Occasionally I would change my stride to see if something else made me faster; I quickly realized this put out of the “run forever” pace and stopped changing my stride. I reaffirmed that finishing with breath is more enjoyable than finishing fast and feeling like I’m about to die.

I ran over a shotgun shell. (Did I mention I live in the city limits?)

Forty-three minutes and twenty nine seconds later I finished my four miles and I kept running. I decided to trot on down Pilot Circle. Note to self: there is a large black dog at the end of Pilot Circle in the mornings. He meets you with a loud bark and an intimidating eye.

As I walked back in I realized the fog had faded and it wasn’t so cool. For some reason I was surprised that my hair was wet…it was like the work I had just done was somehow easy and sweat was an odd thing.

Too much like Martha...

2010-04-29T21:33:00.003-04:00

Balance is often hard for me. I put my all into activities and ideas. I am by no means the best at what I do, but I work hard to accomplish things in a good manner. This week Martha and Mary have laid heavy on my heart and mind. I was cleaning up some things and saw where Lily had learned the story of Martha and Mary welcoming Jesus into their home. As I asked her again about what she learned in Sunday School, I’m sure my mind was a million miles away. My mind was on the kitchen and the potty room and what J.J. could possibly getting into at the time. As I half-heartedly told her my own version of the story, I literally remember sarcastically mumbling under my breath as I worked, “I could be a little more like Mary and a little less like Martha.”

Even when I just had Lily I struggled with the balance between homemaking and spending time with her. If I was cleaning I felt like I needed to be in the floor with her and if I was in the floor with her I was thinking of what needed to be done and wandering if I should let her alone to become an independent player. When J.J. arrived, the balance became even more out of whack on some days. Either way, the situation and she turned out pretty much fine. She loves to have us there with her, but she can also find ways to entertain herself.

As I have gone through the week though, I’ve realized my inability at times to just let go and be, to stop what I am doing and focus on where I am. I believe sometimes even though I’m there with my children, I can tend to become disconnected and not really be there.

Martha was so concerned with making her Guest comfortable, she neglected to enjoy His presence. As I tarry about this home, I focus on always doing the right thing and keeping up with this image in my head of who I should be. As I do this, I fail to enjoy those in my presence…even when the One of my presence is the One that matters most.

I pray that God can move my heart to be able to find physical, mental, and spiritual rest from the worldly concerns that keep me from having a spirit like Mary’s.

As I dealt with this even today, I was blessed to find spiritual uplifting from Raising Arrows when Amy wrote about The Perfect Mom.

You want me to eat what?

2010-04-21T15:52:00.003-04:00

Food is a serious issue around our house. We love it! We live to eat all the way. We love bacon and sausage and pancakes and roast and fried chicken…you get the point. Southern comfort food is a must! Saturated fat is a food group in our home. But that is changing…

Nate recently had to undergo some testing due to some liver issues. There was a little blood work, an ultrasound, and ultimately a biopsy. The diagnosis was on the better end of liver problems. Best-case scenario was nothing…next best case was fatty liver. And that is where we landed. Medically speaking it is steatohepatitis. Basically, fat has accumulated around his liver and caused inflammation. His doctor has prescribed prednisone, but I have prescribed a diet overhaul. Apparently, fatty liver disease is becoming pretty prevalent due to the rise in obesity and diabetes. One site I found even referred to it as a “rich country disease.” Apparently, our food group of saturated fat hasn’t been pairing too well with Nate’s liver.

So, with the power of food in my hands at home, I am off on a mission. In our seven years together, we have had small journeys of eating healthier. Usually those journeys are short-lived as he longs for something greasy and I long for something sugary. His health is serious though. He has too many things going against him not to get healthy…and I could lose a ~~few~~ lot of pounds, too.

I know the best way to do this is Clean Eating. If you haven’t heard about it you can check it out HERE. I did this about six months after having Lily to lose weight...until J.J. decided to make his presence known and I quit. The general idea is to eat foods that are as whole and natural as possible. Processed foods are horrible for our bodies and one of the main reasons our country is suffering so much with nutritional and health issues. (I know lots and lots about nutrition and fitness and yet put none of it into action.)

So anyways, Nate is completely aware that I’ve been working on new menu plans and trying to find a plan for his new healthy liver! I’m a planner and when I start planning…it’s all about business. So, I get my stuff together and I’m somewhat ready for my grocery trip. Let me repeat, Nate is completely aware that I’m going towards a whole foods eating plan. We discussed this while I spent two hours on the couch Monday night making meal plans. We did discuss gradually easing into the plan. For example, really focusing on drinking only water. (Which I’ve been doing for about one or two weeks now.)

So, how we both found ourselves in complete and utter shock when he met me at the grocery store yesterday I will never know. He arrived and I was pretty much finished with my shopping at Food City with a cart full of fresh fruits and vegetables. This was good stuff and I was pumped! He looks at me with this glazed look and said, “I thought we were going to ease into this?” And I say, “We are. We’re not completely clean eating.” So, he requests for my meal plan. “Well, it looks like we’re completely clean eating to me.” And then I say, “I told you I was working on a plan and this is just preparing us. You sat there for TWO hours while I talked with about meals that would be OK with you.” So, he’s just bumfuzzled. “So, what part of this is not clean?” My reply (snicker, snicker), “Well, I’m not buying bee pollen and we’re not doing natural nut butters, yet.”

So, I admit it. I have a plan and my test subject is not being compliant. Apparently, he declares he has a food allergy to whole foods. So, after a day of good clean eating meals and snacks, he gets some meatball subs for dinner to make him feel more like he's easing into it. (BTW- 44% DV of saturated fat...makes me SICK! Food labels should definitely be a MUST in all food facilities.)

And besides, when have I ever eased in to anything? Remember…?

My baby boy is one!

2010-04-17T21:19:00.007-04:00

My little J.J. came into my world a mere year ago and how this year has flown by. We got off to a rough start but my love for him has been so overwhelming from the beginning. When his dad wanted to throw him out, I held him close and just loved him. For those that know J.J., you know his smile and eyes steal your heart the moment you look at him. He is rambunctious, loud, fussy, and uncontainable. At the same time, he is loving, funny, adorable, and cuddly.

After Lily and I made his cake and cupcakes, we headed out for a day at our favorite park with friends and family.

J.J. patiently waited for his sister to blow out the candle before digging in his cake. (Notice the icing already on his hands…) Nana said he’s the only baby she’s ever seen that you didn’t have to put his hands in the cake! She missed him ripping his plate off the table and me catching chicken tenders in mid air ten minutes earlier.

Happy Birthday, my J.J! I love you!

Will you go beyond?

2010-04-14T07:59:00.002-04:00

I was speaking with a friend recently about my previous work with children who had been abused and/or neglected by their caretakers. She explained how she really didn’t understand because it was a “whole different world” than what she was exposed to as a child or an adult. Many of us go through life naïve about the happenings in our country or even our own neighborhood. We know differently, but tell ourselves that everyone else in the world is chugging right along like we are…it makes it easier for us to do nothing.

The children I worked with were physically and sexually abused, nutritionally and environmentally neglected, drug-exposed, and often times just in the middle of a horrible custody dispute that had unfounded accusations flying. I worked both in the role of child protective service worker removing children from their homes and as a CASA representative encouraging the courts to speed up permanency for the children. Being involved to this capacity revealed to me the major instability in the homes of children all around this country.

In recognition of April being National Child Abuse Prevention Month, I want to encourage you also to see what you can do to create awareness for child abuse in our towns and in our country. The National CASA website states that, “Each year, approximately 780,000 children in the US are caught up in the court and child welfare maze because they are unable to live safely at home.” Seven hundred-eighty THOUSAND children are unable to live safely at home! (And imagine all the unreported incidents of child abuse and neglect.)

So, what happens once these children are in the court system? Some of them are lucky enough to have grandparents or aunts and uncles or even the other mom or dad to take custody while their custodial parent works out their “issues.” Along with that luck comes the family bickering and the constant fighting between family members. For those not so lucky, they get placed in the foster care system and possibly even moved from home to home. They spend their time being in the custody of the state. Either way, the children’s next steps in life depend on what happens at the next court date, which may not occur for 30 or 90 or even 180 days! Some children stay in the foster care system for years with no stability and no permanency.

That’s where CASA volunteers can make a difference. A Court Appointed Special Advocate meets with the child and becomes the voice for that child in court. By interviewing family members, teachers, counselors, and any other pertinent people in that child’s life, the CASA volunteer makes recommendations to the Juvenile Court Judge as to what would be in the best interest of the child. The CASA volunteer is able to think outside the box of the social welfare system and outside the box of legalese. They are able to go beyond an occupation and get personal with a child. CASA volunteers take the time to go beyond what is in front of them and find suitable placements that no one else knew were there. CASA volunteers encourage for reunification or adoption to get the child out of the system and into permanent homes.

Are you ready to go beyond for a child? Good news, you can! CASA Volunteers come from all walks of life. CASA volunteers are anyone willing to take the time to speak up and go beyond for a child.

You can receive all the training you need at your local CASA program.

Visit the National CASA website to find a program near you.

The local CASA program for Hawkins and Sullivan Counties can be found HERE.

Shelly Frank's Cheesy Red Potato Salad

2010-04-12T16:50:00.002-04:00

Watch out Paula Deen!

I just had the best potato salad of my life…and it was MY recipe! Here is the deal. I can cook good foods, but I’m not a good cook. If that doesn’t make sense let me put it this way… I’m food ignorant. You give me a good recipe, and it will taste as if the chef made it his or her self. (Well, maybe not that good.) But to handle things on my own, that’s unheard of.

Today I had some red potatoes I wanted to roast and well… I’m baking a bone in chicken in the oven and cooking time would really confuse me if I threw in some potatoes, too. (Like I said, cooks good food, not a good cook.)

I went on a recipe search for cooking the potatoes on the grill and nothing really sounded good so I went with winging a Tater Salad recipe on my own. I figured surely I had enough ingredients in there to get something going…so here goes. The best tater salad EVER.

Shelly Frank’s Cheesy Red Potato Salad

Stuff you need:
(This is my quantity for my 2 adults, a 2 year old that eats like a bird, and a 1 year old that eats like a bear ready to hibernate.)

6-8 Red Potatoes
3 Eggs
2 chopped dill pickles
½ a large sweet onion NOTE: Green onion would probably be better, I didn’t have it on hand.
Black peppercorn crushed (aka, pepper)
Salt (I just dump it in, I don’t know how much? Same with the crushed pepper)
2-3 ~~globs~~ Tbs of mayo
Sargento Bistro Blends® Sharp Wisconsin & Vermont Cheddar with Real Bacon

Boil your red potatoes whole for about 25-30 minutes. You should be able to pierce them with a fork.
Boil your eggs.
Chop your pickles and onion.
Go ahead and dump in the salt and pepper and mix it up.
Chop your eggs and mix in.
Cut your potatoes into wedges trying to keep the pieces about 1 inch to keep it chunky.
Add mayo.
Add cheese according to your own taste. I probably used about ½ cup.

Enjoy! Good stuff!

(I got Sargento shredded cheese on sale last week at Food City. The blend is sharp and mild cheddar with bacon if you want to make your own.)

Modern-Day Homemaker

2010-04-08T22:45:00.002-04:00

Let me paint a picture for you, my picture of the modern-day homemaker. I agree with the ladies over at LAF that say the world wants you to believe the homemaker is the weaker option, especially if that means being submissive to your husband and depending on him. But there is a bigger picture, one seen for generations to come. Visit LAF to see a different picture.

In all honesty, I believe the term “modern-day” homemaker may not be fitting for the women of LAF and myself. Maybe if you just add Christian to the phrase? I believe there are other homemakers out there that have a different vision than we do. It’s that lifestyle that destroys the vision of where we are going. Some of us have just found this path and find that we are often unbalanced and confused as to how to get on the narrow, godly path and away for the worldly highway. This is my picture of the homemaker.

We awake early to spend time with the Lord in prayer and His Word. Our prayers are for His guidance to bring up our children in the way He would have them to go and to not fall into worldliness. Our prayers are for His Hand to be on us all day, every day.

We are ever present with our children and involve them in our daily lives. They are by our side while we cook and clean, do errands, talk with friends, and worship God. We won’t get a job when they go off to school because they won’t be going off to school. We read, study, and pray voraciously because we know their lives are in our hands. Our concern is not what the world may think, but what God commands. We realize that to teach modesty and humility, we ourselves must be modest and humble.

We try to teach our children to rejoice and praise God in all things. We desire for our children to know God and to be given new hearts. We teach them about their sin and their need for Christ, not on Sundays, but every day and when they sin. As we disciple them, we are more convicted about our own sin that we have seen in them. And then we teach them by our own actions, we must always turn back and depend on God.

We see a sick and dying culture. We see men of little faith. We are reminded of Abraham. We are reminded of how he was given the promise though he never saw the land. It was through his descendents that God fulfilled His words. We see our children and their children and their children being servants for God.

So, our days are spent preparing them for just that.

(And let me add…just as we teach our children to repent, our own repentance is unending because we fail…DAILY.)